Hi community.I am upset over a situation in which an ex-friend canceled seeing me over some personal problems. He and I have not seen eachother awhile and I wanted to clear the air between us. Our friendship ended on a sour note because he seemed to want to hookup one night and I did not go there. When I cast this reading it seemed to say he will spontaneously contact me in February, based on my interpretation of line 4. What do you all think? Am I interpreting this correctly or will I never hear from him again?

Hi TannaT,

"Will he return my message?"
11.4 to 34 ~ There is contention over who is in charge of the relationship.

This is from Liu Ming's "Changing":

Line 4 ~ Flutter, flutter. Not sharing with associates. Confusion.


This is not necessarily a bad thing? It may not be the most efficient way to work through your differences, but the Yi says that this back-and-forth wash-boarding process can result in good fortune, and even marriage?

But, for now, it would appear that he's retreated into his power to deny you control by not answering you? Why is his 'spontaneity' important? What are you trying to accomplish with this relationship?

You might want to reformulate your message with clear, bright lines about how you really feel, and reach out to him, again?

All Best!

Hi radiofreewill, with him I would like to clear the air and resume our friendship, that’s all. According to my I Ching source, line 4 says: No circumstance forces the spontaneous contact between the high and low, the wealthy and poor, the powerful and the preterit in times of prosperity. That is when I figured he’d spontaneously contact me when things were better for him. It’s strange that you would bring up marriage, even though it’s the furthest thing from my mind, because I cast again as you suggested and received 31.4.6 to 53, which is the attraction and marriage hexagram. I just want us to be on the same page, really. Any help with what Yi is saying with 31 to 53 is appreciated.

I read 31 to 53 as saying that this is a friendship with the potential to gradually transform into something more meaningful?

So, while you are saying that he's firmly in the friend zone, your casts are suggesting that there could be more there over time?

31.4 says to me that you are being drawn forward reluctantly, despite not being sure why? Line 6 says that while you seem unable to say how you really feel, your true feelings still shine through?

Is there a power differential between the two of you that makes it hard to see each other as equal? Money, position, status, height, etc?

I hope this helps!

Hi radiofreewill, yes there is a power differential in career status (he’s well known in his field and I’m just a neophyte), but in everything else we’re equals. At this point I’m hoping we can clear the air and be friends again, and am just waiting to see if he will respond and want to meet when he’s settled his problems.

TannaT said:

Hi community.I am upset over a situation in which an ex-friend canceled seeing me over some personal problems. He and I have not seen eachother awhile and I wanted to clear the air between us. Our friendship ended on a sour note because he seemed to want to hookup one night and I did not go there. When I cast this reading it seemed to say he will spontaneously contact me in February, based on my interpretation of line 4. What do you all think? Am I interpreting this correctly or will I never hear from him again?

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Rather than rely on commentary which is what you have quoted, what does the I Ching say. It says, from Hilary's translation


'Fluttering, fluttering.
Not wealthy in your neighbours.
Not on guard in truth.'


Her commentary and others show that 'not wealthy in your neighbours' means you aren't getting support you need from where you might expect it so you are like a little bird fluttering afraid to leave the nest as there is no support. But the idea is that it is perhaps a better idea to trust the wind to support your own flight, don't wait for support look for better support elsewhere.


Consider how little this person actually gave you ? I don't know of course but he isn't displaying a huge amount of care to you is he ? If his status has helped in some way it's not helping now, perhaps you could let him go and do better elsewhere ?



I don't feel the answer really addresses your question one way or the other. He may call you but maybe you are hanging on a bit too long for someone who, when you weigh it up, gave you very little ?

But, for now, it would appear that he's retreated into his power to deny you control by not answering you?

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Brilliant way of putting it.

Hi Trojina, I’m not looking to have his status help me in any way. It is true though, that we work in the same field and he has more experience than me. I simply want us to meet and discuss what happened, and hopefully resume being friends. Then there’s this translation: He flutters down, not boasting of his wealth, Together with his neighbor, Guileless and sincere. Just waiting to see what happens now!

I know it’s an old thread but I wonder if there is any update here?

I am in an eerily similar situation right now.