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Relationship potential - 61.1.3.5.6 – 46

greenfrog

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Hello !!

A very happy new year to everyone !!!

It would be great to get some help with these questions.

I reconnected with an old friend of mine sometime ago but the relationship evolved into something more very recently. We’re both quite aware of the impermanence and shortness of life for various reasons so we have talked very quickly of where this is going.

This whole thing was sprung on me. I didn’t expect it at all but he has been fond of me for quite a while apparently. I just like him for now but I know I could grow real feelings for him.

I have some concerns though. He is a lovely person and we connect on a lot of levels. But he is happy-go-lucky, a bit flaky, parties a lot and doesn’t care much about stuff in general. For exemple, he could be earning a lot of money because he is very good at what he does and spend it all without thinking within a few weeks. He is not very careful, looses stuff all the time, forgets to pay his bills etc.

He says he is ready to change and to become serious about things if he had an objective. We talked about him wanting to settle down, start a family. He asked me if I also wanted those things and i said that I really didn’t know. I have a health problem that’s hanging over my head for the past 25 years so I got used to not dreaming very far and the older I get the worse it gets. I mean I’m planning 3 months ahead and that’s it. That doesn't seem to worry him which is a big thing for me... He seems to see things with rosy tainted glasses...

Clearly, he was asking if I would like to do that with him, settle down etc. I suppose I could but we would have to get to know each other a lot more and I can’t help but think that we are very different and that within a few months things could turn badly. And I suppose we don't have time to waste.

So i tried to sort this out a bit in my head with the help of the Yi. I asked several questions and here are the answers and my interpretations.

I would love some help from someone, particularly on the first and second readings.

What would it be like if M and I got together as a real couple : I got 61.1.3.5.6 – 46. This one I have a problem with. I have had 61 before about relationships and that’s not turned out very positively but I get 46 as a resulting hexagram and because of the growth aspect related to it I just need some help translating the whole thing.

I asked to show me a picture of myself in a few months after the excitement has worned off and got 2.3 – 15. I have read different translation for this hex and line. It could be that I’ll be glad to let this go even if it's unfinished business or perhaps I won’t be the one making the desicions… something like I would be living his dream or his life and not mine.

What are his intentions towards me, what does he want from me ? 46 UC. Something to be gained step by step…

The best thing to do right now about the whole situation : 9.1.2.3 – 20. Line 1 talks about returning to my own path, line 2 talks about continuing to have social interactions perhaps, not to cut myself off even if I am disappointed again and line 3 is quite explicit in that it talks about the relationship between the husband and wife falling apart in the cart…. I had that line before regarding a realtionship and it turned out to be negative. And 20 is about getting a clear view of the situation, to be descerning.

Thank you so much for reading this
Best wishes
Carole
 
F

Freedda

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Hello Carole,

Hilary's I Ching book suggests asing this about Hexagram, 61: 'What feels true?' The Hexagram I think is telling us about our personal truths, not some univerally-agreed upon truth. So maybe to start by asking: what feels true? And maybe how this situation feels might be the key.

I was struck by what you said about him being a bit flaky and not having his mind on making money, perhaps partying too much. But then when asked about what you wanted, you couldn't really say either, except "’I'm planning 3 months ahead and that’s it." And I thought, hmmm, I wonder if maybe having a guy who doesn't really know what he wants might actually be a good fit?

I'm not judging you or him ... but it also made me wonder about the 'truth' of the situation - about who might or might not be ready for a relationship?

One way of looking at the moving lines is to see them as indicators of things in flux, or agitated or unsettled. You have four moving lines here, which would tell me that perhaps there's a lot of balls in the air, or maybe too many irons in the fire ... or at least it feels this way.

The relating hexagram 46 is named 'Pushing Upward;' and another name I like - and which seems to fit - is 'Slowly Taking Root.' The image is of a young tree just beginning to push it's trunk and limbs up through the earth. There is possibility here, but also the need to tend to this new, just-beginning life.

Perhaps this suggests a way for you to approach this new, budding relationship: slowly advancing, climbing up, developing ... but not forgetting to ask: what feels true?


Best, David.
 

greenfrog

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Hi David

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond.

Lots of balls in the air definetely rings true in this case. Your comment about being a good fit for each other because we don’t really know what we are doing with our lives at the moment made me smile. Yes 46 could be advising to tend to this

What you said about asking myself what feels true also rings a bell. This has been my problem for the past few months. I have been working on myself to release negative emotions and feelings. Every day i’m working on releasing fear and anxiety and trying to honour the present as much as possible especially with regards to my connection with other people

But I’m still missing that deep inner connection which I think would help me find out what I truly need. I have identified a few things obviously because I know what makes me happier today (good quality relationships with family and friends are a big part for example).

But it’s always very hard to think beyond that, to know which decision to make regarding new projects in my life. I get confused, undecided, my brain goes into override very quickly… I remember a time where things were very clear on that front…

So yes, I need to acquaint myself more with my inner needs and train to hear that voice…

Thank you for the reply, it helps a lot.
Have a lovely day
Carole
 

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