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Reading regarding a relationship

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mega_biscoito

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I left my country to study 5 months ago and when I left I met someone there.Being far away we talked on telephone and slowly we developed a very deep conection.She tried sometimes to move away since she said she had problems with far away relationships.We were together in my Christmas vacation but after she moved away definitely because she said sooner or later we would get hurt, because a long distance wouldn't work.In weeks I'm going back definitely to my country. She says she likes me, but continues to not promote much contact with me.I'm not sure if she really likes me or if these are all excuses to cover something she doesn't want to tell?I asked the book "What I need to know about a loving relationship with S?"47 1,2,3,4,6 --> 37What it means?
 

mandarin_23

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So I suppose it really means 47.5. So there was exhaustion, it was all too much for her (or maybe for you as well). But it supposedly said to keep going anyway, in order to turn the situation around. Duration.
 

Trojina

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I left my country to study 5 months ago and when I left I met someone there.Being far away we talked on telephone and slowly we developed a very deep conection.She tried sometimes to move away since she said she had problems with far away relationships.We were together in my Christmas vacation but after she moved away definitely because she said sooner or later we would get hurt, because a long distance wouldn't work.In weeks I'm going back definitely to my country. She says she likes me, but continues to not promote much contact with me.I'm not sure if she really likes me or if these are all excuses to cover something she doesn't want to tell?I asked the book "What I need to know about a loving relationship with S?"47 1,2,3,4,6 --> 37What it means?


I would think the answer describes the reason she actually gave you here

she said sooner or later we would get hurt, because a long distance wouldn't work.In weeks I'm going back definitely to my country.


Long distance relationships don't work, who wants a relationship with someone who isn't there most of the time.

She would want closeness, for you to be part of her life (37) if she can't have that however much she likes you there is no point in her investing herself is there ?

Unless I have misunderstood you and she lives in your home country and you will see her when you go back ?

In any case you will get more true information about her from her. I think it quite understandable she wouldn't want to waste time on someone who isn't there much ?

If you know someone isn't going to be there much it is depressing (47) if you want someone as part of your everyday life (37)
 
F

Freedda

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... Long distance relationships don't work, who wants a relationship with someone who isn't there most of the time.
I don't necessarily agree with this. I think, ultimately, you want to be close to the person you're involved with, but I think you can sometimes start with a long-distance relationship which then evolves ....

Sometimes, for some people, it works, sometimes it doesn't. I have a friend who was in a relationship with another woman for a year before her loved moved to be closer to her. Now they're getting married later this year (legal here in Wash. state).

Best, David.
 

Trojina

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I don't necessarily agree with this. I think, ultimately, you want to be close to the person you're involved with, but I think you can sometimes start with a long-distance relationship which then evolves ....

Sometimes, for some people, it works, sometimes it doesn't. I have a friend who was in a relationship with another woman for a year before her loved moved to be closer to her. Now they're getting married later this year (legal here in Wash. state).

Best, David.

The point is mega states, or seems to, it's not that clear, that he is going back to his country. If so she is quite sensible in her concern about being hurt

.We were together in my Christmas vacation but after she moved away definitely because she said sooner or later we would get hurt, because a long distance wouldn't work.In weeks I'm going back definitely to my country.

….so she has said long distance relationship don't work and by and large they don't unless the people try to be together not far apart. In the example you describe they get together after being apart.

So if he wants her to stay around he'd need to convince her he was going to make an effort to be close. Otherwise she's wasting her time on someone who's in a different country and if she doesn't know if he's going to commit to trying to be together then she stands to lose a lot if she invests her heart in him. It is a different perspective for women, because if they want a family they have this pretty narrow time frame to do it in. So a woman of say 30 really has to invest her heart wisely if she wants a family with the man. If he's away for 3 years time is ticking on and she could be making a relationship with someone else.

I wasn't intending to say long distance relationships can't work where there is intention of moving closer but if there is no intention of moving closer is there any point ? Maybe for some but if it's a younger woman who wants a family a long distance relationship with no certain prospects could well be something she'd pass on.
 

mandarin_23

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This is what I learned from other I Ching readings - when 5 lines change, the unchanging line is the one which applies for interpretation - and of course, in this case, not 40 as a result, but 37. However, I'm not that experienced!
 

mandarin_23

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... I mean, Moss Elk, about what I wrote, that it was about 47.5.:

Why would anyone suppose that?
40 is part of 47.5,
and 40 is not part of this reading.
 

Trojina

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This is what I learned from other I Ching readings - when 5 lines change, the unchanging line is the one which applies for interpretation - and of course, in this case, not 40 as a result, but 37. However, I'm not that experienced!

No that can't be the case since if line 5 was your answer you would receive line 5.

Some people do use this method with 5 lines but it's not recommended for a newbie, better to just stick to what you actually got.
 
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Freedda

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The point is mega states, or seems to ... that he is going back to his country. If so she is quite sensible in her concern about being hurt .… so she has said long distance relationship don't work .... In the example you describe they get together after being apart.
I do not disagree regarding this reading, but what your wrote seemed to be a generic statement to me - long distance relationships don't work - and that was what I was responding to.

Thanks, David.
 
L

legume

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hello mega biscuit ;) considering that the judgement of hex 47 in Wilhelm's translation mentions

When one has something to say,
It is not believed.

i'm very much inclined to trust Trojina, who's sayin "the answer describes the reason she actually gave you here" and that is that she simply doesn't want to get hurt.

but i'm also getting the feeling that we might be getting lost in translation, so please forgive me if i'm wrong - yet considering what you wrote:

she said sooner or later we would get hurt, because a long distance wouldn't work. In weeks I'm going back definitely to my country.

do you mean you're definitely going back for a visit to your home country, hoping the long-distance relationship will continue? or are you coming back for good, hoping you might start a closer relationship and you're done with your studies abroad?

i think resulting hex 37, for your question, might also have a twist, maybe she has some family, or relation that you don't know about? but more likely, fingers crossed, she wants to have this kind of relation with you and that is what she's been trying to tell you, just didn't want to get hurt in the process... hope all turns out well for you!
 
M

mega_biscoito

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I went to study aboard for 5 months. In 2 weeks the course ends and I'm turning back for good to my country, where she lives.Yes. She always says she likes me but is affraid because she was hurt in the past with another relationship. A boyfriend that went study for some months and she found that he was looking for others.
 
M

mega_biscoito

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Freedda, wanted to edit the post but forum not allows me. Made the mistake to post second time.
 
M

mega_biscoito

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We should read the 5 lines? But which is the more important of the 5?
 

moss elk

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We should read the 5 lines? But which is the more important of the 5?

None of the lines are more important.
You should relaxedly read through them all, but focus mostly on the two hex's.
The most important thing is the two hexagrams received. (the more lines there are, the less relevance they hold.)

Read the lines, then 'zoom out',
and watch the lines significance fade away while you wonder what the two meanings of the two hex's becomes when they are married together. This is Key.

This method of selecting and rejecting lines is a really bad idea that someone made up (probably from the Song dynasty, about 2000 years after Yi had already been around)
It is really bad, it is a mistake.

For your reading, focus on the words:
Exaust(ed)(ing) (ion)+ Family/Relationship.
Long distance relationships can be exhausting. (because they don't have the sustaining things like, frequent communication, physical affections, together time, play, joy ...etc)

in hex 47 all the joy is sucked out.
The Abyss (lower trigram) drains the Lake(upper)
 
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