Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
I have direct experience with this cast and unfortunately I know exactly what it means, and it's not pretty
I have a daughter of 19 who was attacked in broad daylight and beaten by a boy when she was 13. She went through major depression and ptsd. She refused to go out, hated school and regularly woke up crying and refused to go. In desperation I agreed to let her do home schooling and she passed grade 11 very well in 2017. She used to love learning bUt now regularly complains that her brain is not plugging in and she feels anxious so school is still unfinished.
She gained an enormous amount of weight. She is 19 now. Totally isolated at home. I cannot get her out of my house to go work or to socialise. She complains constantly of fatigue. She tells me she does not care if she lives or dies and has no interest in Her appearance.
I cannot find out what is up with her. Sometimes I feel there is a willfullness to persist with this. so I asked the question What is behind Natalie’s behaviour. I got hex 4 line 4.6 to 40.
I am drawing a total blank on how to interpret this. Help with this will be appreciated.
. I don't think, when one has tied oneself up in a knot of not knowing it is an easy matter to get free, to get to the knowing. If your mind has deceived itself can it then undeceive itself without some outside help ? Maybe trying to undo this knot just by yourself would be like trying to view the back of your own head without two mirrors or someone else's eyes. Sometimes when this line is cast maybe instead of seeking an outer gauge of reality one just gets stuck in a self referential loop of ignorance, trying to swivel one's own eyes about to see one's ears . Maybe the advice here is sometimes just to realise that is what you are doing !
'For everyone for all time' is quite a stretch of what I actually wrote. I described exactly what this cast meant for me, more than once, in similar situations with highly problematic people who, although unrelated between them, all displayed the characteristics I described. I certainly hope that it plays out differently for Curious's daughter.Just because we have had the same cast on another matter it does not mean we know 'exactly what it means' for everyone for all time.
I think the 40 sows a strong urge to get free of this whole thing one way or the other. It's as if the time has come where you feel solutions are needed now, but the 4 and the lines don't show that to be possible just yet.
What is behind your daughter's behavior? She realizes something is enveloping her, she knows things are wrong - which could equally include both illness and that her life has gone off the rails - but she has no idea how to fix any of it. So she lashes out in various ways that don't help.
Am wondering what a good follow-up question might be, if you'd even want to ask one. Um..."How can I help her?" "What will help her?" "How best to proceed?"
Ah, okay, thank you.Karcher means enveloping as in a protective covering, not knowing as a protective caul, he doesn't mean the feeling of something bad enveloping a person.
This may be correct or may not be, I don't think we know (yet?). Personally I'm a little wary of doing anything she might see as further punishment until it's quite clear it's the right strategy. I mean, if she eats nothing but potato chips and ice cream that isn't good even if she wasn't gaining weight...I'm not saying don't try to change anything, but especially with line 6 there in a role we don't understand with much certainty, maybe be careful with punishments for now.Also, you mention she maybe willfully indulging in unproductive behavior.
It might be that putting two readings together will give a fuller picture we can understand better. One from the daughter's point of view (already done) and one as advice to Curious1.But it does seem more important to know what the querent's best position to this is and that could very likely to give some clue to the daughter's distress
Substituting "confined" for "enveloping" (Hilary) still might lead to the same place, though - she's confined in several big ways (line 4), doesn't know how to fix it (4 zhi 40), so she lashes out.
Sometimes I feel there is a willfullness to persist with this.
Yes, you're right, I think I saw this sort of thing as lashing out at herself, or at life in general or the circumstances she's in:I can't see anywhere that she 'lashes out' or even behaves badly. I've re read the initial post and there's nothing about lashing out or temper. It only says she's depressed basically, won't go out and doesn't care about anything.
She gained an enormous amount of weight. She is 19 now. Totally isolated at home. I cannot get her out of my house to go work or to socialise. She complains constantly of fatigue. She tells me she does not care if she lives or dies and has no interest in Her appearance.
Yes any of that might be true, but I don't think we know yet and therefore an appropriate response isn't known yet either. If it was me, even if I did know for sure what was behind it, I think I'd still want Yi's advice on a strategy unless "what to do" was really obvious.The daughter might even subconsciously be punishing the mother, another way to see it. For what I don't know but occasionally people stay in a bad way as a manipulative tactic though it's rarely on a conscious level so I would think some kind of therapy would be essential. I am assuming she has had plenty already given the state she was in after the attack. Oh and yes it could be she just cannot see around or through this, either mother or daughter, as I said earlier we can't see the back of our own heads
Good question/point.Also wondering if this boy was dealt with ? Wondering if it would make a difference to her to know his crime was punished.
Oh, okay, I see how you got that, Rosada. Thank you.I'm not suggesting eliminating junk food as a punishment but as a way of following the advice of 4.6 - which I'm seeing as saying "Don't punish for eating junk food, just eliminate the junk food."
Oh dear... so perhaps he's the one described in the first cast? as your question was what's behind her behaviour and he obviously played a huge part in her current situation. It's interesting you use the expression golden girl, in conjunction with his cruel behaviour. If you look up the term 'golden child syndrome' you'll find some perhaps useful information.What added to her anxiety and depression was the fact that her (once doting) father disappeared while she was struggling immediately after the attack. She was great while she was his golden girl, but this was too much trouble. He stopped contacting her, collecting her for weekends and holidays and in 2016 turned very nasty when he spitefully refused to sign travel documents so that she can visit her sisters who live in the UK. She was devastated and the fragile half-healed mental state just went south. Although he is very wealthy, he also provided for her poorly all her life and recently objected very strongly that he does not want to provide for her.
Oh dear... so perhaps he's the one described in the first cast? as your question was what's behind her behaviour and he obviously played a huge part in her current situation. It's interesting you use the expression golden girl, in conjunction with his cruel behaviour. If you look up the term 'golden child syndrome' you'll find some perhaps useful information.
What do I need to do for Natalie? Hex 46 line 2 3 4 to 16. I need to think about this before I can comment.
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).