I've had a lot of back and forth with a love interest who at times acts like he wants to join together only to back away when I respond to his advances. It has been months since I have spoken to him. However he reappeared in my life last week and was as amourous as ever. Considering his past behavior I did not reciprocate and tried to keep my distance from him. (I still have feelings for him but don't like being taken for a fool). Our last meeting he was very flirty and kept seeking me out. I was polite but distant.

I first asked "how is he feeling about me now?" 13.1.5>56 Which seems to suggest that he wants to reconcile. I then asked "what are his intentions/plans towards me now" and got 51.1.6 >35 Line 6 in some translations mentions a "gossip about a marriage." I highly doubt he would propose marriage, but it would be equally shocking at this point if he proposed a relationship.

My main question is understanding hexagram 17 Unchanging. I asked, "how should I proceed towards him at this point?" and got 17UC. From what I can decipher it seems to mean to "create a following." There is a mention of a "superior man going indoors for rest and recuperation." I am interpreting this to mean, "do things the right way, do not chase him, but rather create the circumstances that he will come to you instead."

Any thoughts or interpretations on the matter would be most helpful!


Best!

At first I thought to ask, "Is he twelve years old?" These little games he plays...
If you went in to a relationship with him, he would still be playing this game.

51(35)
He thinks it is funny and thinks he is Advancing himself (makes him something) with his little surprise flirting then pulling away.

17 is definitely not about creating a following. It is about following the natural course of things.
If he pulls away. he doesn't want you.
He just boosts his ego by messing with you.

Thanks Moss Elk, I'll keep that in mind. I will keep avoiding him and not get my hopes up.

about the 51.6,
do you know anyone he has dated?
and how that worked out?

From what he has told me, he had one relationship as a teenager (she left him), and that he hadn't had a serious relationship since then (he is now in his early 30s now). He dates people for a few days and then ends things. I don't know the specifics as to why he has done this with others, but with me he pursued me heavily for months. I finally gave in, we dated for 2 weeks. As soon as things started to get somewhat serious he freaked out and asked to end the relationship (which I respected and moved on). However he keeps circling around telling me he is "tormented" ("I can't sleep, I miss you so much, I love you with all my heart"). During the time we were together he was super clingy and wanted to progress the relationship quicker than I was comfortable with (like asking me to move in with him), which is why I was surprised that he wanted to end things.

The only reason I have given him the time of day is because he seems sincere. At first I figured he was just fearful (he has told me before he is inexperienced and alluded to being a virgin...) and that he was intimidated by me. We haven't been romantically linked since July 2018. I lost touch with him sometime in December. Now he suddenly pops up again now in March flirting heavily but again nothing concrete.

He is immature, no doubt about that, but there is something endearing about him. Despite this my rational mind is telling stop wasting time with this shennangians as this is "a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"

Thanks for taking the time to reply Moss Elk, its appreciated!

Ok, so you've revealed that he is Chronically commitment-phobic.

That's what the warning of 51.6 was about.

He'll have to work on that, maybe needs help.

51.6 also says that the shock is not happening to you, it doesn't touch you personally. So I take this to mean he's out there trying to con someone else without any intentions towards you. Endearing or not, he doesn't sound like relationship material.

Well actually the "shock" ended up hitting him. There was no romantic 3rd party. But he did get "punished" for being over the top and being disruptive last week (he was kicked out of the program where I work at). I don't want to post too many details just in case he happens to come across this site (LOL), but 51.6 was pretty accurate in that sense. I'm not sure what the transformed hexagram of 35 means. That he feels this is progress somehow?

Hi Pink Panther,35 is sometimes called pogress of awareness. I think the 35 background shows that your awareness is progressing.

Thank you Yasmin! I think so too, I most definitely think the Iching is giving me some clarity into these situations and helping me to make decisions from a more rational, less emotional stance. That is the main reason I consult, is to get a more objective picture of what is going on, rather than go on my emotional brain that wants to see things a certain way. Thank you all for your help with the reading, it is appreciated as always!