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Will I Have a Romantic Relationship in 2019? 39.3>8

marybluesky

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I asked "Will I have a romantic relationship in 2019?" 39.3 >8

I'm Limping (39) in the way of finding the Union (8) I want.
39.3: "The third line, undivided, shows its subject advancing, but only to greater difficulties. He remains stationary, and returns to his former associates."
I take it as a big NO.

I then asked "What prevents me from having a romantic relationship this year?"9.3 >61
Small Taming (9): dense clouds but no rain- although the potential seems to be always there, nothing happens. I should wait for the rain and can't do anything special for it.
9.3: "The third line, undivided, suggests the idea of a carriage, the strap beneath which has been removed, or of a husband and wife looking on each other with averted eyes." The straps are moved- I can do nothing.
Meanwhile I should have Inner Trust (61) that the things will eventually work out.

Very frustrating reading to be honest. I have been single almost all my life. For some reason, relationships seem to don't shape for me. I'm really eager to improve my love life, and no, I don't want to become a bitter middle-aged person with lots of unfulfilled desires. Still year passes after year, and I can't find fulfillment despite my efforts. They are guys who care about me, but prefer to date strangers. There have been guys I've loved, then found out were taken. It doesn't matter if I'm proactive, passive, feminine, masculine; there is always something that ruins everything.
What do you think about the readings?
 
D

diamanda

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Both of these answers seem to point to the possibility of having an affair with an already taken man. So perhaps they are warnings to recognise and avoid an upcoming obstacle, as in, this is what's on the immediate horizon and concentrate on how to avoid it. Otherwise, if you fall in for yet another story with an inappropriate man, you'll only waste more of your time.

Will I have a romantic relationship in 2019? 39.3 > 8
As you wrote, someone returns to their former associates, i.e. the situation can't go ahead. Since you're not thinking of returning to a former solid relationship, then this is a guy returning to his 'wife' (next reading).

What prevents me from having a romantic relationship this year? 9.3 > 61
Husband and wife are having a huge argument. The guy will be taken and the wife will not just sit there silently while he's cheating.
 

marybluesky

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Today I asked "What has prevented me from having a romantic relationship ALL THESE YEARS?", & got 63.4> 49

I don't know how to interpret the two hexagrams; however the line "shows its subject with rags provided against any leak in his boat, and on his guard all day long."-
"He is on his guard all the day: he is in doubt about something."
So my doubts & being on guard held me back.

Then I asked "What should I change to bring a romantic relationship into my life?" and got 4.2.4 >35

I'm Inexperienced/should act Youthfully/ find a Youth (4) and make Advance (35)- it's not cool to hear I'm still inexperienced in my late 20s to be honest:(.

4.2: "Embracing the ignoramus, good fortune.
Receiving the woman, good fortune.
The child governs the home."
To accept my folly, inexperience & femininity and be like a child?

4.4: "Confined ignoramus – shame"
It will be a shame to confine myself.

I can't understand how it applies to my real life. When nothing happens, when I can't find any suitable partner, how am I supposed to end this "Inexperience"?
Any comments?
 

marybluesky

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Both of these answers seem to point to the possibility of having an affair with an already taken man. So perhaps they are warnings to recognise and avoid an upcoming obstacle, as in, this is what's on the immediate horizon and concentrate on how to avoid it.
A friend of mine who has a GF recently tried to flirt with me, that I didn't accept.
Will I have a romantic relationship in 2019? 39.3 > 8 As you wrote, someone returns to their former associates, i.e. the situation can't go ahead. Since you're not thinking of returning to a former solid relationship, then this is a guy returning to his 'wife'
And this happened. I don't regret it. If a guy respects me (and other women) he won't try to seduce me while the GF is in horizon.
What prevents me from having a romantic relationship this year? 9.3 > 61 Husband and wife are having a huge argument. The guy will be taken and the wife will not just sit there silently while he's cheating.
He seems to have problems in his relationship. Again- not my business. I tried to explain to this guy I won't engage in behavior I find wrong. He didn't accept and accused me of being jealous with wrong take of the events. In short, there was an argument. We're not in contact anymore.
 
D

diamanda

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Good grief that guy, and on top of everything he accused you! I'm glad you extricated yourself from that situation.
 

rosada

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I find that for me the I Ching often describes the immediate situation so I'm hoping the 9.3 oracle has now been fulfilled with the cheating guy so now you can check that experience off your bucket list and thus you won't have to wait until 2020 to make a worthy connection.

Looking at your other questions -

What has held you back?
63.4 - 49. Plugging holes with silk sounds like you've missed out because of having to use extreme measures to fix potential serious problems. Maybe these refers to this current situation also. You had to be very firm to fend off a man who was trying to lure you into his mess. Maybe now that you successfully done that, this obstacle is going to 49. Change!

What should i change to bring in a romantic experience?
4.2 You don't need to change a thing - you're perfect just the way you are.
4.4 Besides, how would you know what to change? Who could you be if not you?

However, there does seem to be a need for...

35. Self Promotion!
"The Superior Man himself brightens his bright virtue" - Wilhelm

I met my husband at an event where I was handing out my business card. I happened to give him one and he called...

Good luck!
 

marybluesky

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Beautiful comment Rosada!
I find that for me the I Ching often describes the immediate situation so I'm hoping the 9.3 oracle has now been fulfilled with the cheating guy so now you can check that experience off your bucket list and thus you won't have to wait until 2020 to make a worthy connection.
I hope so.
What has held you back?
63.4 - 49. Plugging holes with silk sounds like you've missed out because of having to use extreme measures to fix potential serious problems. Maybe these refers to this current situation also. You had to be very firm to fend off a man who was trying to lure you into his mess.
That's right. I've found myself in difficult situations in many forms. Maybe I could do better, I don't know. The only thing I could think of at those moments was to avoid bigger difficulties.
Maybe now that you successfully done that, this obstacle is going to 49. Change!
:flirt:
What should i change to bring in a romantic experience?
4.2 You don't need to change a thing - you're perfect just the way you are.
4.4 Besides, how would you know what to change? Who could you be if not you?
I hope so, again.
However, there does seem to be a need for...
35. Self Promotion!
"The Superior Man himself brightens his bright virtue" - Wilhelm
I consider it seriously.
I met my husband at an event where I was handing out my business card. I happened to give him one and he called...
Cute :)
 

radiofreewill

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Hi marybluesky,

"Will I have a romantic relationship in 2019?"
39.3 to 8 ~ The problem is that you haven't been able to escape from the same rutted pattern, meaning that you always end up back where you started.

"What prevents me from having a romantic relationship this year?"
9.3 to 61 ~ You are stuck with the barnyard (small) animals due to misperceptions.

"What has prevented me from having a romantic relationship ALL THESE YEARS?"
63.4 to 49 ~ Suggests a curse requiring magical (shamanic) healing...see Liu Ming's "Changing Zhouyi" for the Image in 49 [fine print: I am not a shaman, just my opinion, your mileage may vary, humma, humma, humma...]

"What should I change to bring a romantic relationship into my life?"
4.2.4 to 35 ~ Without rejecting the barnyard (small) ~ it's important that you escape from it into the livestock pasture (great) ~ and then your romantic life will advance forward transformatively.

So, by nature, you have the strength of a big animal, and you belong in the pasture with the other livestock...

...however, your *Mystery* (for men it's Gravitas) remains dormant and you are (mis)-perceived by others, instead, as just another of the barnyard animals...

...and despite all of your best efforts, you always end up entangled with the barnyard animals, again?

Sounds sort of like an Aldous Huxley/Alfred Hitchcock mash-up, huh?

I know a lady who is brilliant with business insights, but she's short even in heels? Her problem was that she couldn't get any respect in the corporate world, despite having great ideas? She tried everything to no avail?

And, then, she found a Voice Coach who put together a package for her called "Commanding attention with your Voice" and it proved to be a game-changer? She didn't change anything else about her situation? She just started speaking and posturing in ways that drew-in people's attention to her insights...and she gained entrance into the Boardroom!

So, consider finding a way to tap into your inner power, and learn to express it, such that it redefines perceptions about you?

I hope this helps!
 

Surfergirl

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Hi :)Just want to say I’m a novice but if I were to read this for myself I’d interpret it for myself in this way:39.3– will I have a romantic relationship: there are some very large barriers preventing union. 9.3– what’s preventing union? I would read this as a disconnect between masculine and feminine. Like somehow misinterpreting signals from men who are interested and so failing to respond. Or being closed off in some way. 63.4– what has prevented union all these years? Honestly I don’t know how to interpret this. When I’ve received this answer it’s been something that has felt utterly exhausting and like I felt like I had to do but not really felt like. I don’t want to project onto you so... I’m going to say I’m not sure. Or from reading the txt maybe it means your not giving your best self? (Clothes available but wearing rags) like it’s something your afraid your not worthy of. Something deep inside your afraid to have. And while you have so many beautiful things within you, you don’t have access to them because you do see them and so instead energetically what you’re displaying is a lesser version of yourself that others pick up on and so the wrong types are attracted to you. Meaning what likes you you don’t like because inside you’re worth more. You just need to access it. 4.2.4– what can I do? If this were my reading I’d think. In order to advance I’d 1.) Line 2. Need to realize I haven’t done everything. Be humbled in that rather than throwing in the towel and thinking this is how it is (line 4 too resentment) I’ll never have it. I’ve tried everything, I’ll be alone forever etc ( whatever your internal dialogue) . I think it’s saying how you are engaged with your singleness is part of the problem. It needs to be eliminated and instead surrendered to and accepted.Here’s a good interpretation I like:::Enlightenment from six four: to give up what one is engaged in. Line 4 is trapped in ignorance because it has no access to a teacher and is completely surrounded by ignorant people; this will be resented. The hexagram that forms after this line is activated, acting actively as masculine but not righteously, is Wei Ji (64), not completed yet, signifying a total failure as all that has been done is in vain.
 

Surfergirl

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Hi :)Just want to say I’m a novice but if I were to read this for myself I’d interpret it for myself in this way:39.3– will I have a romantic relationship: there are some very large barriers preventing union. 9.3– what’s preventing union? I would read this as a disconnect between masculine and feminine. Like somehow misinterpreting signals from men who are interested and so failing to respond. Or being closed off in some way. 63.4– what has prevented union all these years? Honestly I don’t know how to interpret this. When I’ve received this answer it’s been something that has felt utterly exhausting and like I felt like I had to do but not really felt like. I don’t want to project onto you so... I’m going to say I’m not sure. Or from reading the txt maybe it means your not giving your best self? (Clothes available but wearing rags) like it’s something your afraid your not worthy of. Something deep inside your afraid to have. And while you have so many beautiful things within you, you don’t have access to them because you do see them and so instead energetically what you’re displaying is a lesser version of yourself that others pick up on and so the wrong types are attracted to you. Meaning what likes you you don’t like because inside you’re worth more. You just need to access it. 4.2.4– what can I do? If this were my reading I’d think. In order to advance I’d 1.) Line 2. Need to realize I haven’t done everything. Be humbled in that rather than throwing in the towel and thinking this is how it is (line 4 too resentment) I’ll never have it. I’ve tried everything, I’ll be alone forever etc ( whatever your internal dialogue) . I think it’s saying how you are engaged with your singleness is part of the problem. It needs to be eliminated and instead surrendered to and accepted.Here’s a good interpretation I like:::Enlightenment from six four: to give up what one is engaged in. Line 4 is trapped in ignorance because it has no access to a teacher and is completely surrounded by ignorant people; this will be resented. The hexagram that forms after this line is activated, acting actively as masculine but not righteously, is Wei Ji (64), not completed yet, signifying a total failure as all that has been done is in vain.
 

marybluesky

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Chelsea your interpretation makes sense. Many things you said are right.
63.4– what has prevented union all these years? Honestly I don’t know how to interpret this. When I’ve received this answer it’s been something that has felt utterly exhausting and like I felt like I had to do but not really felt like. I don’t want to project onto you so...
That's exactly how I feel about dating. I don't like it. I prefer my relationship to grow organically. That's why I want to be friends first, or date my friends. It's no fun for me to flirt and all of a sudden be intimate with a stranger. Feels forced, especially with current dating rituals...
maybe it means your not giving your best self? (Clothes available but wearing rags) like it’s something your afraid your not worthy of.
like this! Why my natural self isn't enough? Why should I look artificially perfect and happy? All that makes me reluctant.
Something deep inside your afraid to have.
Maybe. I don't know. Admittedly, I hate it when people want to jump in my life and know and comment about everything all of a sudden, like happens in dating.
And while you have so many beautiful things within you, you don’t have access to them because you do see them and so instead energetically what you’re displaying is a lesser version of yourself that others pick up on and so the wrong types are attracted to you.
So the way I relate to people now isn't enough, huh? Another thing I hate about dating: to show off speedily. I feel comfortable in my skin. Why should I push myself to show off? And in the end, what people want is sex and conventional gentleness. I don't think the essence is of much importance.
Meaning what likes you you don’t like
Yes, it often happens.
Line 2. Need to realize I haven’t done everything.
Doing and doing and doing... I don't know why should we "put effort" so much while man/woman relationships are supposed to be a natural part of everyone's life.
I think it’s saying how you are engaged with your singleness is part of the problem. It needs to be eliminated and instead surrendered to and accepted.
Do you mean that I should be comfortable with my singleness? I see. Sounds more natural that "artificial" romances.
Here’s a good interpretation I like:::Enlightenment from six four: to give up what one is engaged in.Line 4 is trapped in ignorance because it has no access to a teacher and is completely surrounded by ignorant people; this will be resented.
But I love my surroundings... I have no motivation to leave all the lovely things so that maybe I find romantic love, if I've taken it rightly.
The hexagram that forms after this line is activated, acting actively as masculine but not righteously, is Wei Ji (64), not completed yet, signifying a total failure as all that has been done is in vain.
I really don't know another way of being. That's my style. I'm not saying that I'm perfect but to follow conventions is to kill my real self.

Now, after the haze of previous crushes/relationships/love interests is gone and the scene is clear, I wonder if I really want/need any romantic relationship in the traditional sense. I hope my boldness doesn't annoy you. As I wrote, you've painted interesting, true points. My answers are more of an inner dialogue than analysis of your view.
 

marybluesky

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Chelsea, Radiofreewill

You both indicated that my inner beauties aren't seen by others. What part of the reading leads you to that?
As for inferior and superior people, I don't know exactly what you mean, however I prefer simpler people with simpler lives. I'm not into assertive, competitive people with more success but less sympathy who can never relax and see the deeper layers of others.
 

radiofreewill

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I was late to the thread, so I apologize for just barging in?

I read the flow of the tosses as:

39 to 8 ~ Obstructed Union
9 to 61 ~ Small Power is the Current Truth
63 to 49 ~ Shaky Completion
4 to 35 ~ Become Aware to Move Forward

I view 'inferior' as without self-cultivation, and 'superior' as with self-cultivation? For me, the truth of our nature lies inside:

Mooji ~ Invitation to Freedom

My experience has been that if one finds Peace inside, then that's what resonates with and draws others on the outside?

All Best!
 

marybluesky

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Update: it is December & no romantic relationship yet.

As 39.3 says, there have been great difficulties in the way of love. I returned to an old associate- of course not for romance, but for sex.
The thought of me not being able to establish a love relationship used to bother me a lot; but it doesn't anymore. I haven't been in the romantic mood for a while. My focus is now on my sex life. To be honest, I see all the romantic customs- that I never became good at- as barriers in the way something which could be gained much more simply.
 

radiofreewill

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Thanks for the update, marybluesky!

Looking back seven months at your original 39.3 to 8 toss, your read of a big NO was accurate and prescient ~ Nice! :(

If I'm understanding you correctly, you are saying that you've identified social ritual as the obstruction hobbling your quest for natural intimacy, but now NO more: you've gotten free of the construct to find the more basic instinct, itself?

If so, then I'd say that you've gotten around the obstruction successfully! Brava!

From Liu Ming's "Changing Zhouyi" for Hexagram 39, Jian (Obstruction):

Line 3 Go out stumbling. Turn back.​
"You wobble and equivocate because the situation is more than you can handle. Remain silent. It is not cowardly to go home or return to familiar resources. Stay calm, whatever you do."​

Comment on the Hexagram Image:

"Jian actually means hobbled or lame (frozen toes) but it describes a favorable situation. Good fortune comes to the halting and inept because they have the simple, good sense to wait or withdraw. From time to time good fortune comes despite our incompetence. When Jian is divined success is a gift of fate (friends). Since success, in this case, is far in excess of what you might reasonably expect, complete the process by sharing the rewards with others."​

I hope you have a great 2020! :)
 

marybluesky

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I'm re-reading my past threads; the ones on bigger aspects of my life in particular, and some comments seem really interesting & to the point. I'll share my idea of them:

"Will I have a romantic relationship in 2019?"
39.3 to 8 ~ The problem is that you haven't been able to escape from the same rutted pattern, meaning that you always end up back where you started.

"What prevents me from having a romantic relationship this year?"
9.3 to 61 ~ You are stuck with the barnyard (small) animals due to misperceptions.

"What has prevented me from having a romantic relationship ALL THESE YEARS?"
63.4 to 49 ~ Suggests a curse requiring magical (shamanic) healing...see Liu Ming's "Changing Zhouyi" for the Image in 49 [fine print: I am not a shaman, just my opinion, your mileage may vary, humma, humma, humma...]

"What should I change to bring a romantic relationship into my life?"
4.2.4 to 35 ~ Without rejecting the barnyard (small) ~ it's important that you escape from it into the livestock pasture (great) ~ and then your romantic life will advance forward transformatively.
The main reading was about my life in 2019, however the answers cover a longer length of time.

I was indeed stuck with "barnyard" animals for a long time, mistaking them for heroes or the best- and not only in romantic relationships. No I am stuck to no one, socially and romantically, be it barnyard animal or livestock pasture :)
...however, your *Mystery* (for men it's Gravitas) remains dormant and you are (mis)-perceived by others, instead, as just another of the barnyard animals...
No idea.
However, in general, I don't see that magical power they say women have over men. We observed much fewer women struggling in relationships otherwise, be it in this forum or real life.
 

Miglix21

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Today I asked "What has prevented me from having a romantic relationship ALL THESE YEARS?", & got 63.4> 49

I don't know how to interpret the two hexagrams; however the line "shows its subject with rags provided against any leak in his boat, and on his guard all day long."-
"He is on his guard all the day: he is in doubt about something."
So my doubts & being on guard held me back.

Then I asked "What should I change to bring a romantic relationship into my life?" and got 4.2.4 >35

I'm Inexperienced/should act Youthfully/ find a Youth (4) and make Advance (35)- it's not cool to hear I'm still inexperienced in my late 20s to be honest:(.

4.2: "Embracing the ignoramus, good fortune.
Receiving the woman, good fortune.
The child governs the home."

To accept my folly, inexperience & femininity and be like a child?

4.4: "Confined ignoramus – shame"
It will be a shame to confine myself.

I can't understand how it applies to my real life. When nothing happens, when I can't find any suitable partner, how am I supposed to end this "Inexperience"?
Any comments?
I know that perhaps it is a bit late to reply to this as it seems to have been posted some time ago. But, I think I can give you a hint on your reading. Imagine line 4.2 and line 4.4 are having a conversation. So, between the situation of having the "right behavior for learning" and "not wanting to learn" there is the opportunity to increase your consciouness (Hex 35).

I will try to make an example as if you were given the reading from 35.2.4 to 4. In 35 line 2 you're advacing slowly and prevented to get in contact with someone important -perhaps you don't know the reasons for which you're prevented to enter in contact with this person, a form of "ignorance" (hex 4)- and in 35 line 4 you want to advance quickly, at all cost, behavior that is dangerous as you may not take into account things that may harm you. So, between getting in contact with your important person and wanting to advance quickly there is a time of ignorance, of not knowing something.

There is something about relationships, man or women (I assume you are interested in men) that you still need to learn in order to be able to enter in contact with your "important person". I hope this helps. It is curious as I have received more than once this same reading (hex 35.2.4 to 4) when asking about a love relationship. Don't remember exactly the question, but I do remember having received this anwser twice or thrice.
 
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Miglix21

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Well, because I see it as two sides of the same coin. Reading it backwards may give a hint on want it wants to tell you.

It is interesting for me, because, as I told you, I have received hexagram 32.2.4 to 4 when asking about my next relationship (related to the post I made yesterday, to which you replied).

Perhaps, on your side, it is trying to tell you that, what prevents you to have a relationship with another person is something that you don't know or don't want to know (line 2 and line 4). If you read hex 32.2 it talks about a man that is prevented to get in touch with an influential person he/she has contact with, and that, the later would give this man (or woman) happiness with maternal love. Perhaps, on the side of this person that may know you, or, may be in your life somehow without you knowing, perhaps, this person can't get into touch with you for some reason you don't know.

It is curious for me that, when you received line 3 of hex 39, the people that replied you saw it as if this person was into another relationship with a woman, I do agree that this man -if Yi is not talking about you not having time to engage into a relationship because you have responsabilities to attend to- is busy now with responsabilities, perhaps, he has a son or daughter he may have to take care of, perhaps an old family member, or some other kind of responsability that doesn't allow this person to go towards you.

There could be several interpretations to it, but, my point is that the backward reading is telling something that may help. The solution to your questions is a knowledge you don't have, thus, it goes to hexagram 35.

The solution of hex 35.2.4 to 4, is the same thing. The person of line 2 wants to advace and is prevented from doing so, and the person from line 4 wants to advace at all cost, which is dangerous. So, there is ignorance/lack of knowledge on how to advace, thus being hex 4 the result of the two situations being triggered.

Perhaps, "What do I need to learn in order to be in a relationship?" could be a good question for you?
 

radiofreewill

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Hi marybluesky ~ It's great to see you! Can you believe it's been two years since this thread started?

This situation seems to me like another case of "Who knows good from bad?"

There once was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away.​
Alarmed, his neighbors came over in a group and said, "Oh no, how​
will you plow your fields?"​
To which the farmer calmly replied, "Who knows good from bad?"​
The next day, the horse came back with a mare.​
Surprised, the neighbors all came over and said, "What good fortune!​
Now, your horses can have more horses. How lucky you are!"​
To which the farmer calmly replied, "Who knows good from bad?"​
Later, the farmer's only son fell off the horse and broke his leg.​
Concerned, the neighbors all came over and said, "Oh no! Now you​
won't have any help for the harvest ~ this is a tragedy!"​
To which the farmer calmly replied, "Who knows good from bad?"​
Two weeks later, the army came through and conscripted every able​
bodied man for the war, leaving the farmer's son behind.​
Stunned, the neighbors all came over and said, "Unbelievable! Your​
son was the only one not taken! What good luck!"​
To which the farmer calmly replied...​

In your case, you were lamenting the lack of romance...and then Covid came?

To be honest, the barnyard/livestock analogy never did sit well with me, because the imagery distracted from the energy it was meant to point towards?

Hopefully, we're coming out of the Covid era and returning to our natural socializing? Since you are a person who prefers to develop romance from the pool of your friendships, it would seem important to invest your time and energy in a large vibrant community? The art world comes to mind?

The way I see it, Covid changed everyone's plans, but, but, but...

Who knows good from bad?

All Best!
 
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