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Just need a bit of support through this...

S

seeker

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I got an email from Thomas. Yep, THAT Thomas. He just asked how I was doing, but it doesn't make sense for him to email out of the blue like that. I have not heard from him in months, and the last time we talked, he made it clear we were over as far as he was concerned. I emailed back and filled him in on the changes in my life. I also told him that if he was just saying hi, I appreciated it, but if there was something else, he should let me know that.

So, I asked Yi, of course:

What does he want from me? 55 unchanging

How will he respond? 53.6

What are the prospects? 25.4.5

What do I need to do? 40.1

The 25.4.5 is throwing me a bit, but my general feel here is to wait and see. It seems auspicious, though I know there are no guarantees, which is why I need a bit of hand holding. After all this time, he is still the one. I am still in love with him. This means so much to me, but I have been on this roller coaster before, crashed and burned too many times not to be very reticent about the outcome. So, if everyone could cross their fingers and send positive thoughts, I would really appreciate it. And if it doesnt happen, again, someone be ready with a really big bottle of wine, or maybe tequila. Thank you.
 

yellowknife

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I have a fuchsia candle for love and hope.
I'll light it for you later today when I get home and send positive wishes.

Blessings
wolverine

(another romantic hoper..)
 

frank

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Hi Seek,

Wow, he's back... That must have been a hell of a suprise when that mail came in, wasn't it? Good for you, and what a way of showing that you are strong these days by actualy letting know your borders imidiatly. He should tell you if there is something else... OK. In the meanwhile questioning to the Yi is a great thing to do, but be aware that your whises can me 'mirrored' within the answers. (I'm an expert on that as they do to me...)

Let's see what the Wu-shaman lady has to say to us this time...

What does he want from me... 55, static... Wow, this seems like relaxing, do not worry and be like the sun at midday... (That can be HOT). There is the Fire below... you are still 'atachted (?)' to him, right? Thunder above... O, you want to run? (to him...) No, not him to you... (darn...). Didn't you ask, secretly in the heart what YOU still want from him and pushed some wish-button here? Although ofcourse I wish all the happiness with this answer if this is actually what HE wants...

How will he respond... 53.6... well, carefull at least... Mountain below... standing still, easy dose it... Wind above... not a huricane, but a good breeze.... He could take his time for carefully planning... And the line 6 tells of something like 'using the feathers in ceremonies' as acording to Wu, the author, not the shaman woman..., (Wu Jingnuan...) the chinese character on 'ceremonies' is also 'instrument', as feathers where used in 'wheater predicting instruments'... My intuition here tells me he is aware of the emotional tension between you and him, and he is a bit carefull... At least it tells something about the way he is busy with the situation as he mailed you (and you did not mail him...). After changing the line 6 53 changes into 39... Hindrances... The meaning of the chinese character of Hindrances does not tell that you are becoming involved in them, but that you actualy overcome them... The literal meaning is "Overcoming of Difficulties by handling them". Thatswhy people always are a bit afraid when they 'receive' this hexagram as an answer, thinking they will get in trouble... NO, my dear, you will not gettin' IN, you will have the oportunity to get OUT! Perhaps he wants to talk about 'the whole tension and situation thing...' Take it step by step then, as that could be his intention...

What are the prospects... O Boy... don't you wish on that, unless you want yourself mad again. 25 at least tells you of having NO EXPECTATIONS... Just be yourself... Let things happen as they do (and that is do damn hard to do, isn't..? I know, oh yes, I know...). Thunder below... (wow, you want something don't ya...?), and Heaven above... Power to the rescue... Thunder could go TO FAST... Then you are no longer in heaven no.7... but already in no. 39 or something like that... Line 4 tells you in almost every book in the Yi to do some divination... (you did, by asking 4 questions in a row...), but in a book about chinese characters in the time of the Zhou (Dictionary of Early Zhou Chinese, by Alex Schuessler, a German), the time of the Yi..., I red that ZHEN, actually does not only mean divination or perseverance, but "TO TRY OUT...", "TO BE CORRECT"... So... line 4 speaks as a follow up on the Judgement of 25 "Be Correct, and TRY OUT THIS ADDITUDE..." Line 5 speaks of a chronicle desease... well... let's face it... is falling in love, crushes etc not a 'cronic' thing...? And yes, it can make you do things you normaly will not do in a milion years... so it could be 'a desease'... Be aware of that and things will be fine... Again, as in the earlier anwer on 55... the Yi is telling here to Relax, not having expectations, be correct, trying out the attitude and be aware of the 'sickness'... (no medication needed...). Then 25 changes into 27... Nourishment... Stay focused on what feeds you both in this bond... Take it as a win / win situation and no compromise... I already told to that you are strong now letting know your borders already... (And you become more attractive by playing hard to get, then throwing yourself at his feed by the speed of 100 miles an hour..., but I'm the one and only prove of not handling this in practise...)

What do YOU need to do... 40.1... First freeing yourself from any anxiety and hope, and take things as they come... ('advantage to the west and south (southwest)', which is the trigram Earth). Cut knots quickly as YOU have the right to know his intentions... but do it in a yin state (easy dose it...). Line 1 is only telling that there's no error in handling like this... (oh wow that helps..)

O, I realy wish you all the best in this Seeker, but be carefull with your emotions. Meanwhile I have regained contact with the dear collegue of mine as well (is it in the air or something...?) some months ago, and she realy wants to stay 'just nice collegues', which is fine by me as I do not have expectations anymore, and that helps in getting out of the energysucking 'desire emotions'... and open minded about what actualy can happen. (she still mails me from time to time and has the intention of keeping up doing that...). That's great... because it gives space on communicating about things that matter, as you know 'each other now'... It's OK in my head with her... (other stuff and persons came in instead, although the feelings do come up from time to time, but I can handle them.).

Hang in there, dear!

BIG HUG
Frank
 
S

seeker

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Thank you both so much. It is very difficult to follow the Yi here and not have expectations, but I am trying. Taking his time, oh yeah, thats Thomas. And worrying about the emotional tension, ie my feelings for him, yeah, that would be him too. If he did want to try again, one of the things that would hold him back would be worrying that I would get hurt, which is why I tried to approach it fairly casually. I am trying to learn from my mistakes, which is a line I get often from Yi. For now I am just holding my breath. Hopefully he will answer before I turn blue and pass out./clipart{biggrin}
 

hester

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that old dog is coming around again? you still love him? well who should be so surprised he comes around with such glowing hexagrams. what do you need to do? 40 1. stay out of it. expectations? forget it.
 
S

seeker

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Not sure what you mean. He is not a dog, and what happened before really was not his fault. And yes, I do love him, because he has always been kind. Even after we stopped seeing each other, I could have called him at anytime if I had really needed him, and he would have been there. He was always considerate of my feelings; it was only my stubborness to refuse to accept reality that caused my pain.
 

donjuan

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Hi Seeker,

Some amateur advice? (ignore me, if you choose). The first thing I would do with this guy is guard my heart. (Obvious statement, I know). Approach him as a friend. Have no expectations. If he makes any further advances, then give him the "rules" by which you are going to play. Personally, I would tell him that if he wants to start anything, he cannot start and stop, start and stop. That is just not fair to you. Be clear with him - not mean, but firm. And if he agrees to the terms that you set - perhaps he is truly interested?!
Anyway - just some input from a guy who also had his heart "tugged" on this past year.
I wish you all the best,
Don
 

hester

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oh wait!!! thomas!, not your ex husband. oh geesh. so so sorry seeker, i thought thomas was your ex husband. but now i remember who he is. thomas is the man you liked...ohhhh. so sorry, excuse me.
 
S

seeker

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ok, so I am trying to remain calm and concentrate on other things, but its hard. The email was sent through the personals site and it shows he has not been there since I answered him. Not unusual for him on the weekends as he has two jobs, but today is his day off, unless his schedule changed, and still nothing. I admit to getting a bit antsy. I asked Yi why he had not been on to answer and got 13.1.3.5, asked if there was anything I could do now, 60.1.2.5. I think the 2nd answer is telling me there is little I can do and just go with the flow, be ready to act when the time comes. In the first answer I'm not sure if it answered the question directly or more gave an outline of the situation, maybe a bit of both. BTW, this morning I got frustrated when I still had not heard from him, asked Yi, ok, can you at least give me some reassurance here, 35 unchanging. Why do I get the feeling that there was a bit of sarcasm in that anwer
happy.gif
 

cal val

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Seeker...

There's absolutely no sarcasm in that answer. It simply says partnership... mating. The hexagram statement is about a gift of horses mating... several times a day. Even Wilhem picked up on the importance of partnership in the hex statement and said, "An enlightened ruler and an obedient servant - this is the condition on which great progress depends." Of course, it doesn't have to be a ruler and servant... it can be two equals. This is 2005 after all... *grin* And, of course, nothing says partnership better than the pictograph LiSe kindly provided to the forum... two arrows pointing at the same target... probably the sun.

hex35.gif


I LOVE this hexagram, and I'm very happy the Yi gave it to as reassurance.

Love,

Val
 

frank

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Hi Seek,

My o my are you something... (big grin). I somuch recognise my own impatience when I'm in love and dying for answers... At least try to be calm in this and know that the Yi is not your worst enemy here. (it's yourself and the emotions that are talking to you in your head). That from a theoratical, logical, a little out of the situation kind of response... For the warm hard feelings that I also feel here, I can say that I realy wish you all the best with all of this, and that's not only with the fight of impatience in why the <bleep> HE did not answer yet, but mostly in winning the battle over your emotional way of dealing with this, as I so mych KNOW what you are gowing trough. I realy do :-D... BUT... as speaking to myself here as well (grin grin grin), there is always the Yi who is telling us how to go along with all of this...

So...
Hexagram 13, and why HE did not aswered already (phoe, man, gosh...you should kill them, don't ya :-D...?), is about dealing with 'equal people'. He could be talking / buisy with some one else... (maybe just hanging out with a friend, as friends, are 'equal people'...). It's his day off, you said, so... What do you do when you have a day off... Mailing the whole day? I don't :-D... (I get impatiened why SHE did not answer instead :-D...) But hey, Hexagram 13... Heaven above, Fire below... Power to the Attachment... You realy are attachted to this fellow, yes...

Line 1... changes 13 into 33... Withdraw... (Aha, he is just taking a nap...). The line is telling about a Union of man 'at the door'... so that's close... It's a YANG line, changing into YIN... so, go behind that door... (Withdraw...). Let the door open, but do not wait in the hall... just read something in the couch :-D... Take it EASY... (remember the Yi was telling you to ZHEN... in the answer on Hexagram 53? JUST TRY THIS OUT, HONEY :-D!.

Then Line 3 sais something about you getting pissed off in that couch, and why the <bleep> he did not answered that <bleep> open door... (grin...). Don't go there dear., please do not get mad about this, you so go frustrate yourself with this... (YOU are you're worst enemy, remeber, NOT the Yi :-D). And I know it is so damn easy for me to say this as when the situation was the other way round, as I was mailing, and YOU would answer, I already would have eaten the pillows in the couch :-D! AND SLAMED THE <bleep> DOOR. But, please, just RELAX AND READ ON :-D... In the couch I mean... By changing the 3rd line in 13 you get 25... BE RELAXED, NO EXPECTATIONS AND WAIT! (woef :-D...)
By changing line 3 in 33 (as that was the roadmap after the first line) you get 12... SITTING STILL IN THAT DAMNED COUCH :-D

Then line 5... it's telling us that you are going to cry about it... and THEN LAUGH!. Probably cry of impatience... and Laugh of the funny-ness of it all, and perhaps he is FINALY ringing on the doorbell... But you have to WAIT (I start to HATE that word :-D) a bit longer, but.... there will be a meeting. Line 5 tells so! By changing line 5 alone, you get Hex. 30... Attachmend... The every day routine... While you are starting to vacuumcleaning the eaten pillows, he rings :-D...
By changing line 5 in 12... as follow up on the other lines, you get 35... YOU WILL GET THERE, DEAR, have patience!

Then about what YOU can do now, besides eating pillow-fillings, you receive hexagram 60 (LIMITATIONS), is to RECOGNISE and ACCEPT the temporarly situation! KNOW YOUR LIMITS... And breath :-D! Line 1 is about NOT GOING OUT THE DOOR... Ha, literaly a proof of what I told you above... Get inside, NOT outside the door :-D. It then changes to 29... Your feeling of anxiety and danger, but's all emotion, and NOT the actual situation :-D. Line 2 then is about the fact that at least you may go walk into the frontlawn. Perhaps you are afraid of taking the initiative as YOU wait for an answer from him. Maybe you should just ask if he is still there... NO LONG MAILINGS... The meeting as in 13 could be his respons... Then, as line 2 changes in 29, you get Union (8)... Line 5 of 60 then tells about Sweet limitations... Praise..., Good fortune by going forward... and Hexagram 8 line 5 makes Hexagram 2, just wait for the respons again... Yes, so what you can do is sending him a SMALL (!!!) message if he is still around... (he does not have to be, as you can see that, but THAT'S THE DAMN TRICK, you silly, send the message anyway!!!)
Then his respons could not be that far away...

And as for the second time of 35 (first as second hexagram after 13), the Yi is only reminding you of the patience and the nice things to come... He is not the sarcastic one. (I'm :-D!)

Hang in there, sweety, and I keep my fingers crossed and the pillows out of my sight :-D,

Huggy,
Frank
 
S

seeker

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Thanks guys, you have reassured me and made me laugh. I actually did plan to sit on the couch tonight and read a book after getting my daughter to bed, pausing for frequent interruptions to tell her to stop whispering to her fairy friends and go to sleep.

Interestingly enough, my first reaction to hex 13, before I read the moving lines, was oh, he is hanging out with friends. You're right, I have been waiting for him to respond, not sending anything else because that is what I used to do and did not want to repeat the mistakes of the past, plus I did not think he would see it anyway. But maybe I will send a followup, will have to think about how to word it so I dont come off as whiny or impatient, which of course I am a bit. I will say though that I am doing much better than I have in the past. At this point last year, I would have already sent 3 emails, been crying into those pillows and possibly ventured down to where he works (big no no, he hates to be distracted at work). So, the lessons Yi has tried to teach me this past year have sunk in somewhat at least. Yeah me
happy.gif
Going to go read my book now, get lost in someone elses tragic love life. Thanks again for the help and support. You guys are the best
hug.gif
.
 
S

seeker

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Ok, so I sent another message, just said hoped he wasnt working too hard since he had not been on, did not know why he contacted me, but it was nice to hear from him, Id missed him.

Thought I might have gone too far because I asked how he would respond and got 50.3.4, but then I asked if I had messed it up and got 48.4, what happens now 22.4.6. Will have to wait and see what happens. I get the feeling that even if he wants to see me again, it is not going to be an easy road. But I guess good things never come easy.
 

jte

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Best of luck to you, Seeker - hope things work out...

- Jeff
 
S

seeker

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Thanks, but guess they will have to work out with someone else. He emailed back and said he just saw me on and wanted to say hi, no more no less, did not want me to get the wrong idea. Oh gee, well, too late. I emailed back and told him it was a very insensitive thing to do, and that he no longer seemed to be the sweet and caring person I knew. Maybe this is what I needed to happen to finally move on. I have always held out hope deep in my heart. But though I am sad, I realized that he has changed, or maybe I just did not know him as well as I thought I did. In either case, I do not think I would like the person he is now. Anyone who could be this unaware of anothers feelings is not someone I want to be with. I guess it did not occur to him that I might still have feelings for him and he would give me false hope, but it should have. It was totally unfair to me. I told him that I recognized that when I got hurt by him before it was my own doing, my stubbornness and refusal to accept reality. This time, he hurt me, and it was through no fault of my own. I was minding my own business. Thing is, I have no idea what to make of the readings I got, unless they all just reflected my own wishes. But if that is the case, if I have that much influence over the results, I am not sure they do me much good. I am not sure where to go from here.
 
M

micheline

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Seeker, I wasnt going to say this, but 55.0 is not a positive reading about a relationship...what he wanted was to say hello, no more, no less....55.0 kinda reflected that, but it isnt a dynamic moving kind of reading.

53.6 too was about his response....and his response was to basically say it was over, and maybe the 53.6 is saying you can use this as a final swan song.......it is a beautiful line, but not esp auspicious for a relationship to begin again..
and the 25 lines were telling you not have expectations.....and 40.1 not to do anything

even 35.0 couldve been Yis way of saying with a smile, the facts are all clear, you must find the understanding........

I only say this so that you dont also lose hope in the YI...the readings were really debatable....i got 55.0 once about something i really wanted to happen and thought "OH good" but then my gut said to me,,,maybe not good, maybe the sun has reached its zenith and thats that.

Take heart...the Yi is your friend , it did not fail you.........

this man seems to put you in a dizzy like alovesick girl....i hope you find a best friend of a man, someone who doesnt come and go at the wrong times, someone you are *down home* comfortable with........ and who never makes you wonder how he feels. HOld back and allow him to court you, when this man comes. never pounce, or be overly insistent...the less of your hand you play in the beginning, the better. the time will come. Dont ever give up...but DO be quiet and confident.... attract from within, nevre opursue too desparately
 

hester

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seeker, i love what micheline wrote to you. thank you for accepting my apology that i mailed private email to you, i did not mean to call anyone a dog. i thought it was your ex, and i guess i just had the response one of my friends might kid me with if i was getting interested in someone not good for me. i dont think thomas is a dog, (just had to say that in plain print.) anyway, my own love life has caused a few kinks in the neck, if i ever wrote it out here im sure someone would throw a bucket of water at me. you come here with your heart wide open. not so many can do that. i know i cant. love, hester
 
S

seeker

Guest
Michelin, thanks, yes I can see exactly what you mean. And dont worry, I never lose faith in the powers that be, just sometimes lose faith in my ability to understand them. In this case, actually should have followed my gut reaction. Though I misinterpreted the other hexes, and I can see how now, my first reaction to 55 was not positive. I always think of it as abundance, but only for a short time, which in this case would reflect the short time I felt like there was a chance and then the realization that it was not to be. And I think my initial response to 35 was the correct one. I asked for reassurace, so it answered with a positive hex, but did not say that was what would happen, it just gave me what I asked for. In a way, though, maybe it was right. I did not make progress in a relationship with him, but I think I did make some progress within myself. I also think Frank was right in that how I interpreted it reflected my own desires.

Id like to know more about how you read and which translations you use. I have not found one that really worked for me, no disrespect intended to all the wonderful people who have taken the time to translate and interpret. But they all seem to either be prone to misinterpretation or just plain wrong. But maybe its the way I ask the questions. I have often said you should really only ask what to do and what to know, but I break that rule all the time, and it always gets me into trouble.

Hes, if I had been referring to my ex, you would have been right on the money, he is a dog. Its fine, it is so easy to misinterpret when you are just reading words on a screen. And I pour out my heart pretty well here, to the point of having people throw things at me at times. I usually deserve it, though it is sometimes weeks later before I realize it. All in all they are a pretty good bunch. I get the feeling you do not feel like you can be as open. Not everyone is comfortable revealing themselves for others. So, if you ever need to talk privately, feel free to email me.

As for me, I am going to continue with my study of the Yi and looking for love, hopefully not continuously in the wrong places. Michelin actually pegged me pretty well
happy.gif
But this time, I am ok. Wow, I really am. I'm actually not falling apart. Imagine that. I dont even need the tequila. Yeah me.
 

cal val

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Seeker...

*sitting beside you with a box of tissues in my hand and a hug on the ready if you want it*

<blockquote>When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.</blockquote> There's more, of course. I just posted the first few lines. http://www.katsandogz.com/onlove.html

Love,

Val
 

cal val

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Hi Micheline...

I loved your post.

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

...i hope you find a best friend of a man...<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>
Hit a chord... and my heart strings twanged... *ouch*

The last man I fell in love with was my friend... my best friend. That's a large part of why I fell in love with him. He was willing to accept whatever I had to offer, even if it was only friendship. He had no expectations... wants yes, but no expectations. And, as I told Seeker in email, I'm willing to accept the same from him... whatever he has to offer... with no expectations... even if it's only five minutes in an airport as he rushes from one corner of the world to another. His friendship means that much to me. And if I never get even that five minutes in an airport with him, I'm happy for having had the experience of knowing him and the opportunity to enjoy his friendship.

Love,

Val
 

frank

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Hi Seek,

I'm sorry things turned out the way they turned out, but I still believed things would have worked out just fine, IF the emotions where not that high. He DID respond :-D, and that's that. That's what the Yi told you... NO EXPECTATIONS... (and still you had some...) One (1) message and NO further questions, and again you asked 3 in a row... (o those darn damn emotional things, as I so much recognise them, and I do the same damn things as you do... sigh...:-D) IF you would have NO EXPECTATIONS, his respond would not have that impact to you as it did... Now you think you went to far (you only have to purify your own self, as Yi is telling you by Hex. 50, lines 3 & 4, and still not flying to high, as those lines as changing lines make Hex. 62...)and messed it up, where the Yi is only telling you that you DID NOT :-D! (the well (YOU!) is bricked. What happens now, as the Yi answered that by 22, lines 4 & 6 is that you again can learn to watch trough pink clouds and the package, and start to become aware again that the words mather, and not the way they have been put... (adornment...). He was again just friendly by asking how you where, and YOU made it an emotional 'chronical desease' of it :-D. YOU could have had the feeling that it was insensitve, as in an emotional state EVERYTHING IS SENCITIVE...:-D, what he did, but it was YOUR expectation... The Yi only answered about the steps getting respons, he never said anything about the message it took... I'm sorry again it worked all out this way for you and, in my enthousiasm I could have had a wrong impression that things went ok... but after reading my answers I still believe in a progress, BUT without the expectations... You still could be friends, if you want that, and Nothing else :-D. But that's a good thing, as that wonderfull collegue of mine says she realy misses me from time to time, and even as a collegue, that's always a nice thing to hear. I see that some woman already comphort you with other mails. Take care of yourself, and it's a good thing to see that you are already doing fine, even without the tequila :-D.

And I so much recognise my own behaviour in this... darn :-D... You're a mirror (aren't we all?).

Hug,
Frank
 
S

seeker

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Thanks to you both. Frank, you are right. I did have expectations, just could not fathom why he would contact me just to say hi, so I assumed he didnt. I still think it was a bit insensitive of him, but it would not have affected me the way it did if I had not still hoped we would get back together. The whole expectations thing was the problem all along. I realize now the reason I misinterpreted was I was looking for the result, for Yi to tell me what would happen. I should know better, I ahve given that advice to others many times. All in all this was a positive progression, just not the one I wanted. To quote the Stones, "you cant always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need". That should be the theme song for Yi and for me too. Just cant seem to let go of expectations, its one of the hardest concepts in the Tao for me. But I continue to try, and if anyone quotes Yoda to me, I will throw my tequila bottle at you
happy.gif
Ok, so in some ways I fell into a familiar trap, but in others I do think I progressed. I did not fall apart this time, and I think that is because though I wanted it and did have some expectation, I did not give myself completely to it, I retained some doubt. So I still say yeah me. And thank you so much to all of you for coming along for the ride and not pushing me off the top. Keep your hands inside the car and exit to your left, or if anyone is up for another turn, please continue to my new post back to reality and tell me what you think. Hope you enjoyed the ride and have a great day.
 

jte

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"I have often said you should really only ask what to do and what to know, but I break that rule all the time, and it always gets me into trouble. "

Well, maybe that's just your "tao"? Food for thought...

- Jeff
 

yellowknife

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I lit the fuchsia candle and I think the wish for love and hope in your life (and mine!) still stands.

The day after, I went out to get in my car for work and found that a deep pink flower had been tucked under my windscreen wipers. I think it had been picked from a bush further down the street, and maybe someone walking had just randomly put it on the first car they saw as a surprise, but it felt like a nice gift from the universe...

Maybe not tequila or a box of tissues, but just thought I'd let you know!
 

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