Relationship question: don't know what to think!!

mousse · Apr 2, 2007

) Hello All,

I'm new here and it's really nice to find a community about I Ching. A friend of mine told me about I Ching last year and I must say I'm amazed by the answers (right but sometimes no so clear :rofl:

). I really need help with this one.

Ok, My question was: "what effect would it have on our relationship if I wait for X to contact me first?" ( We've been separated and I'm waiting for a phone call, an email something ....do I sound too desperate :rofl:

?)

I got 19 (first line is a 9) changing in 7.

And I'm totally lost with the answer. Is it saying that I should wait, our relationship will get better but I'll have to work for it ( hex.7) ?

Some help would be nice

Thank you .
Mousse

Trojina · Apr 3, 2007

Hi I answered this once then deleted it cos I didn't know what to think either :rofl:

but as no one else has come forward i will offer you my wisdom

Hmm my first reaction was that waiting is not such a good idea because theres too much confusion in the situation, no clear direction. Looking at the fan yao of 7.1 it says if the 'orders' ie your intentions/his intentions are not clear then theres a muddled result.
It made me feel 'X' could be waiting for you to call him while you wait for him to call you.

Also if you have broken up are you clear in your mind of the purpose of the contact, or maybe its separation for another reason I don't know.

Anyway personally with this answer I think I might make a move to X rather than hang around.

Tohpol · Apr 3, 2007

Seems to me that IC is saying stop fussing around and make contact, but in such away that you don't sound desperate for contact - even if you might be

topal

mousse · Apr 3, 2007

Thank you

Hello,

Thanks to both of you. Ok . Well I asked the question the other way auround (and not sure if the question is correctly asked): Should I contact I? And I got 31-1-2-3-4-6 changing to 61.
Because I wasn't sure my question was appropriate for the IC (should I do sthg?). I asked:
What effect would it have if I contact Him? And i got 53 unchanging. I think that yes I should contact him first

Topal I'll try to sound not too desperate but won't be easy ;-) Gosh If I decide to do so...won't be easy. Your opinions/advices on those hex?

Thank you very much again. Cheers

Mousse

Trojina · Apr 3, 2007

With that many lines changing on 31 I would ignore them and look at the two hexagrams, what sentence do they make together ? Sincere attraction ? Maybe other ways ? The point is if there is a genuine bond between people who calls who first in the end doesn't matter much. Whats more if you call you are sincerely following your heart, not playing games, how can that be wrong ?

As for 53 unchanging, looks like progress just maybe slower than you'd like, try not to rush things, trust in the gradual unfoldment of the situation (ie don't be desperate

)

mousse · Apr 3, 2007

Thank you

Hi Trojan,

Thank you for your answer. You are right you can't be wrong when you follow your heart and are totally honest with you and the others (in the case with THE other

) . I still need time I think. Right now, I'm just so lost.....I guess when I'll feel the time is right I'll contact him. And I might find the right words (not too desperate ones :rofl:

).

Why men are so complicated???

Bye

Mousse

miakoda · Apr 3, 2007

Hello, Mousse-

When I receive more than two changing lines I think it works well to use a transitional hexagram. It guides you through the steps of the change. You asked if you should contact him and got 31.1.2.3.4.6>61. I would read it this way:

31.1 - This impulse comes from far away and is in its beginnings.
49.2 - This is a time to revolutionize things. The time is right.
43.3 - You meet proud or controlling people (have met/will meet--who knows?). You are soaked in indignity. It's not caused by you.
58.4 - You are still working out how to get things started between you. It's like a negotiation at this point.
60.6 - If you use harsh measures or bitter speech, it will close the Way. Don't be desperate.
This leads you to 61, connecting with your true feelings.

I think the Yi Jing is avoiding telling you what to do, but instead trying to help you understand the situation that you're in so that you can resolve it for yourself.

The first question you had of what effect would it have on your relationship if you wait for him seemed to me to support your original impulse to wait. 19.1 in my translation is: An important connection is coming nearer. The Way is open. In my experience, this has always happened eventually.

The line that intrigues me in your transitional hex is 49.2. If I were in your shoes, I'd be wondering how the Yi Jing would suggest I revolutionize things when I'm dealing with 43.3 and 58.4.

Hope it works out for you.

Best,

Miakoda

Sparhawk · Apr 3, 2007

mousse said:
Why men are so complicated???

Bye

Mousse

Doing a double-take (and a few back-flips for added drama...) Oh, my eyes!! I didn't just read that... Must be a typo (a whole phrase typo...) :rofl:

L

mousse · Apr 3, 2007

sparhawk said:
Doing a double-take (and a few back-flips for added drama...) Oh, my eyes!! I didn't just read that... Must be a typo (a whole phrase typo...)

L

Nope no typo error :rofl:

Just thought it might be my next question to the I Ching :rofl:

Bye,

mousse

mousse · Apr 3, 2007

miakoda said:
Hello, Mousse-

When I receive more than two changing lines I think it works well to use a transitional hexagram. It guides you through the steps of the change. You asked if you should contact him and got 31.1.2.3.4.6>61. I would read it this way:

31.1 - This impulse comes from far away and is in its beginnings.
49.2 - This is a time to revolutionize things. The time is right.
43.3 - You meet proud or controlling people (have met/will meet--who knows?). You are soaked in indignity. It's not caused by you.
58.4 - You are still working out how to get things started between you. It's like a negotiation at this point.
60.6 - If you use harsh measures or bitter speech, it will close the Way. Don't be desperate.
This leads you to 61, connecting with your true feelings.

I think the Yi Jing is avoiding telling you what to do, but instead trying to help you understand the situation that you're in so that you can resolve it for yourself.

The first question you had of what effect would it have on your relationship if you wait for him seemed to me to support your original impulse to wait. 19.1 in my translation is: An important connection is coming nearer. The Way is open. In my experience, this has always happened eventually.

The line that intrigues me in your transitional hex is 49.2. If I were in your shoes, I'd be wondering how the Yi Jing would suggest I revolutionize things when I'm dealing with 43.3 and 58.4.

Hope it works out for you.

Best,

Miakoda

Hello Miakoda,
It helps a lot. I don't know anything about transitional hex. I'll try to find some information about it... Regarding, hex 43.3 and 58.2, it makes sense for me. For 43.3, it can be Mr X (too proud to contact me first) or my friends who say: "forget him! don't contact him" (or even myself...) And for 58.2, well yes kinda still negotiating: relationship or not....How to revolutionize things? That's the hardest part....I'm stuck. I need to find what to do and when to do it. Gosh still totally lost . It might be my next question to the IC: what should I do to revolutionize things ? What do you think about that?
Thank you very much for your help.

Mousse

willowfox · Apr 4, 2007

My question was: "what effect would it have on our relationship if I wait for X to contact me first?"

I think that if you wait for X to contact you first then it will not work out.

Hex 19.6 says to cooperate with others by moving forward together, ie saying something to him.

Hex 7 suggests that you become a strong leader and take command.

mousse · Apr 4, 2007

Thanks

Hello Willowfox,

Thank you very much for your help. God, I think I'll have to listen to the IC....Not easy...Why do I always have to be the commander???

Cheers,

Mousse

miakoda · Apr 4, 2007

Mousse:

Don't know whether to imagine that you are fond of dessert or have a really big hairdo... Anyway, you're on track here in your approach to the Yi Jing, imho.

I'd say it's time to suggest the Jesed Questions: Please give me a general diagnosis of my relationship with X? What is his position? What is my position? What action should I take.

The information generated by the first three questions plus the fourth, action question will probably clarify your situation (and answer the how-to-revolutionize question as well).

Beware of hoping that the Yi Jing can be used to bring someone to you, though. It may do so eventually, but only if that is actually the right relationship for you. I believe that the Yi Jing is your guide to living fully and authentically and that comes before whatever desires you might have. It's a tough teacher, but wonderously benevolent.

I want to add that my personal experience has been with 43.3 is that it's been a warning that I'm dealing with someone who is controlling. That may just be how it has happened in my life, but not yours... so, use your instincts.

Best,

Miakoda

mousse · Apr 4, 2007

Dear Miakoda,

Thanks a lot!!! Well I do have a really big hardo and order dessert :rofl:

. Sorry if my english isn't that good. I'll try the four questions you mentioned. As far as I know, my Mr X isn't controlling. He just likes to be in control of his life (meaning working a lot...maybe too much

). Do you mind if ask you for help if I don't understand the answers to the four questions you mentioned?

Bye,

Mousse

miakoda · Apr 4, 2007

Mousse:

You are welcome to send your answers to me in a private message, but I think you've got a lot of fine thinkers (with great intuition) here and would miss out on their ideas if you just sent it to me. If you're comfortable, post your answers and see what everyone says. I'm always impressed by the wide range of interpretations I've seen on this site. I promise to weigh in as well.

Best,

Miakoda

mousse · Apr 4, 2007

Thank you

I think I will post my new answers in a new thread,

Best

Mousse

...life can be translucent

Relationship question: don't know what to think!!

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