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I didn't really ask a question, just a tearful statement
'I am tired, tired, tired and lonely' and I guess in the back of my mind was a
The I Ching gave me 41.1,2,3,4,5 to 36.
Funny, I said I was tired and it agreed, with so many moving lines do I concentrate on the darkening aspect. I always feel the I Ching is advicing me to do what I have ben doing ofr years. Darkening of the light, I have been there for sooooo many years now, so to go from exhaustion to clipped wings yet again.
Se(iously too many lines for me to think and because it wasn't really a question. I feel as if I am being told to pick myself up (one more time) and keep going even though I am tired and lonely and can't see a way out.
Thanks for any help.
It's horrible when find ourselves in this state isn't it? I don't know your personal situation of course, but I know what it feels like to down in the pit. Been there too many times to count. I do however think that these things happen for a reason and there are always ways out of the impasse. Ah yes, 41 is very familiar to me!
For me, 41 is an alchemical hex in that we are being asked to conserve and redirect our energies after using them in the wrong way which has led to depletion at various levels. Simplifying and going back to basics is the key. That may mean emotionally and regarding our perception as to how we think things are. Uncomplicating our lives as much as we possibly can - taking out the trash. Defining what exactly is depleting us, exhausting us and how much of it is of our own making is also important I think. 41 suggests that you can really discover this and come out the other side. You can do it.
It's a bit like there's been a trauma and we have to respect the wounded psyche. Know that we are not ready to forge ahead under present circumstances - but we will. There are the cycles and seasons in this Hex which, if we are able to stop and let go of all things we so desperately want and desire we kind fall into their slipstream if you will; we open ourselves to those cycles so that we heal and regulate our energy and eventually those blockages. Rather like a river that has been dammed up by pain and suffering if we step back and try not to allow anymore negative thoughts and feelings to enter the flow of the river it can begin to find it's original course again.
It is like you have to love yourself and decentralise yourself at the same time. Care for yourself like a seed in winter but keep looking around at the world and opportunities to use your energy in productive ways, but to the extent it drains the energy of others or your precious reserves you are building. Small and simple. Step by step.
Above all Lasublima, never give up, never live in the past and keep your eyes fixed on what you can do in the present.
Just a few thoughts for now.
41.1,2,3,4,5 doesn't change to 36. It changes to 33.
so sorry it is 47, that was a typo, excuse me
The feeling I get from 47 to 36 is that you feel stuck in a situation where you can't see the light. Look inside yourself and you'll find it hidden, but unchanged and beautiful.
47 is saying that there are things that aren't believed. So don't listen to what I say... just seek and you'll find what you need.
36 is saying that even though your light is hidden below the earth, it still shines clearly. Hang in there and persevere through the darkness and things will come around.
Topal, thank you for your quick response, though I typed the wrong hexagram.
Getojack, thank you for your very apt interpretation. Yes things aren't believed, like the possibility that there is light at the end of the tunnel (and not another oncoming train ). No, I find it hard to believe, but I needed what you said to remind me of my doubts, and that little encouragement to keep on keeping on, even when I don't know why. Thank You. I look inside again, I will. I always, the eternal optimist, why I don't know!
Hex 47.1,2,3,4,5 your affairs have supposedly hit rock bottom and you see no way out of your boredom/depression but it is up to you to get rid of those negative thought patterns otherwise life will seem s***. It also seems that you are easily sidetracked, therefore making no recovery. You have to be patient because some people in your circle haven't got a clue what is wrong with you, if anything, since you have all that you need, material wise. Better for you to get yourself involved in some family or community project, then things will improve for you, get yourself involved in anything.
Hex 36 says that you should keep a low profile, don't go moaning and sobbing to all and sundry that life ain't treating you right, otherwise you will annoy a whole bunch of people. When your life and spirit have improved into the positive realm then you can emerged from your darkness. Self control and determination to bring about a change of attitude to your life. You created your own problems, the darkness that now engulfs you, so it is down to you to find the Sun again.
"...your affairs have supposedly hit rock bottom and you see no way out of your boredom/depression but it is up to you to get rid of those negative thought patterns otherwise life will seem s***"
Absolutely spot on willowfox. Yes sometimes I am sidetracked by depression.
"You have to be patient because some people in your circle haven't got a clue what is wrong with you, if anything, since you have all that you need, material wise."
Do I have all material wise, since I am about to be kicked out of my apartment for non payment of rent, and I don't know how I'll be able to buy food next week, since there is no money coming in, and everything I touch turns to dust? I took 2 weeks holiday this year after four years of none, and so I am regretting because now finances are worse than ever,(It was a stupid idea, I thought I could be like other people) but you reckon I am fine material wise!!! I can't even buy a 4 euro pair of stockings without asking myself should I or shouldn't I. But you are right, I am blessed I just don't see how to access it, and the blessing seems to be having trouble manifesting itself, but I guess that is my fault. I do appreciate your comments, and your good will as well. To a big degree you're right, not in terms of money, but talent, that no one wants. And yes my friends probably don't understand, so talented and yet so incapable of finding work, alll those doors that slam in my face. No money, no material,, the means but not the will, not any more.
"You created your own problems, the darkness that now engulfs you, so it is down to you to find the Sun again."
Is it because I wanted to create problems, did I purposely go out to destroy all my dreams? I am seriously not being flippant, but I have problems understanding how someone purposely goes out to destroy themselves. I would like to think that I wouldn't do that to myself.
Interesting about 36, keeping low until I feel better, doesn't sound as negative as I imagined. But I never moan to people, everyone smiles when they see me, because I amalways soooo happy, so they say to me, 'you bring sunshine into our lives with you yr smile', they say. There are only a couple of friends I speak to, and never really about the depth of my loneliness and despair, that I keep to myself and the walls.
What you have said is interesting, and right to some extent, but now to find the will to do as you advise.
Sarah Dening says "You must summon up all your resources of determination and will-power. Do not allow yourself to be dragged down by circumstances or wallow in self-pity. Life is not always fair. Yet the show must go on. If you give in to depression you will be the ultimate loser. You owe it to yourself to think positively. Fight your negative thoughts tooth and nail...."
I'd add that trying to fight negative thoughts directly only gives them more power, because they then stay the focus of one's attention. It works better for me when I replace them with an alternative.
for example: One might try to replace "I'm lonely" with "I'm not lonely." Is any part of you going to buy that thought, when your feelings are very intense?
So try instead to replace that thought with something like "I'm a good person, there are people out there who will like me for who I am, and I'm working on finding them."
It takes a lot of thoughts to change a feeling - like a little gear running around many times to move a big gear, yet it can be very effective. Have to watch the thoughts that try to move it back in the old direction, both feelings and thought-habits will try to keep things going the old way....
Bad situation but you have two legs, two arms and all your faculties, surely you realized long ago that your job was going awol and your money was disappearing, so this is not like a nasty surprise for you. When I say material 'wise', I mean that you have clothes and shoes etc, you are not completely destitute.
""You created your own problems, the darkness that now engulfs you, so it is down to you to find the Sun again."
Is it because I wanted to create problems, did I purposely go out to destroy all my dreams? I am seriously not being flippant, but I have problems understanding how someone purposely goes out to destroy themselves. I would like to think that I wouldn't do that to myself."
You have not purposely done anything and that is the problem here, the writing was on the wall alongtime ago but you took no heed of it. You could have done lots of things to stem the tide but obviously you got sidetracked once too often for your own good. When you are in a hole you have to take any old job to bail yourself out, it doesn't matter how much talent you have when you are hungry.
I was once in my life in a situation where I had no money for the next day's breakfast( I had been kicked out of the country I had been living in by the authorities with no warning and no money), let alone the rent, plus I was in a foreign country but that afternoon I got my self a job and did fantastically well at it, even learnt some of the language.
When your luck has reached rock bottom, it can't get worse only better. So, it is entirely up to you to go out there and shake, join the community to see what is on offer, put yourself about. Hex 36 just says to be careful and not cause unnecessary problems for yourself. It does not say give up and roll over.
Loneliness is just you closing yourself off, don't do that go out and talk to people, seek their help, I am sure someone will help you if you ask.
Last edited by willowfox; June 20th, 2007 at 05:38 PM.
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