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I'm set to live with some people next year but I'm not sure if I wholly fit in... It's my unrelenting problem I've always wanted to feel I belong to a group say, but then in a group I often feel dissolved... then come away feeling I've hardly contributed and they probably think I'm dull - sometimes it's fun but I wonder if they really want me around basically.. I went out last night, feel a bit rough today so don't know whether to make my excuses about going out tonight aswell, plus I feel hesistant - what if they're not my 'real' friends - there are a couple of girlfriends I wholly trust which is great , but I'm unsure as to whether I'm putting myself in a group situation where I am not appreciated.. then again maybe I'm being paranoid.. it's just that I don't want to live alone next year or with random people again and I do like the said people, I just don't know if I'm right there... always kinda had probs with friends maybe I'm just not right for groups.. but I so want to be!
I asked 'Should I go out tonight?' (with are these my friends/ the right way to go in the back of my mind... think you can ask a double barrelled question?)
55.1,6 Abundance to 56 The wanderer.
What am I being advised to do? Not go out tonight and bow out (and be lonely maybe) or persevere/ try and embrace it even if I feel a bit different??
Thanks a lot
Interpretation online about 55- 'The sixth line, yin, shows a house that is too large. No one comes to visit, which is unfortunate. It is better to be humble. Friends are more important than money.'
56- 'The third line, yang, shows one who is disrespectful to hosts, thus losing the respect of everyone. The image is of a traveler setting fire to the inn, thus losing his/her servants and injuring him/herself.'
I don't know what to do ! I feel socially paralysed and I just want to feel secure with these people, but I don't...
Are the hexagrams saying I should make more effort?
Line 55.1 says to go as these people have the same or similar goal to yours, it will benefit all concerned.
Line 55.6 says do not be selfish and uncooperative by staying at home, again go with your friends, share the experience.
Hex 56 is a traveller, a person just like you going out on the town for the night, keep yourself under control and you will be just fine.
Hi mesmer thanks for the links - humblingly apt. I'll look out for the Cerato - I just can't help thinking they are a bit of a placebo - but it's a lovely idea really, and describes my weakness very well so maybe there is more to it!
I'm up and down like a yo-yo I do need to get a grip on myself rather than being constantly influenced by others. And listen to my instincts, rather than compromise myself by doing what I think I should ratehr than what my unconscious may be trying to tell me - perhaps, as the unconsious is attributed with the abiltity of pre-cognition, the instincts may be trying to protect/ lead you to an understanding of your basic self.. It's hard to put into words what I mean.. trouble is can't be sure that the inner-voice is also sometimes the voice of fear and anxiety which is there for all the wrong reasons..
I also read some other thoughts by Jiddhu Krishnamurti:
> http://www.etresoi.ch/krishnamurti/0915.html <
and this quote from > http://www.etresoi.ch/krishnamurti/0917.html <
'Intelligence is much greater than intellect, for it is the integration of reason and love; but there can be intelligence only when there is self-knowledge, the deep understanding of the total process of oneself.'
Which are also spoke to my sense that I am creating a dissolution of my self, through reliance on others.
And thanks Willowfox too - I didn't go out in the end - for other practical reasons - but have made other plans with them to make up for it.
I hope I don't sabotage it all with my distrust.
It's been very good to relate my problems to the wisdom of the I-Ching - and share it online - which brings it alive I think by relating it to real people and experiences- I think more people should discover it!
Thanks for your patience and advice
The people you hang around with now may not be real close friends but it doesn't matter that much, go with the flow take it as it comes. You could be getting tense because you are trying to see too far into the future, trying to find a group or friends you can settle with but I feel your reading says you are a traveller right now, with lots of opportunites (55). With 55 its important not to keep 'data gathering' in making decisions, not to keep thinking something better is coming - with 55 things are as much or as good as they can be right now. I would see 55.1 as saying liasons now maybe temporary but they are still of value, and 55.6 as a kind of warnign not to shut yourself away and cut yourself off from life - so yes keep getting out there and try to worry about long term relations with people
Social anxiety can be such a distressing thing, and you are right, it can be hard to decipher the voice of good intuition from the voice of fear and distrust.
Perhaps the best advice, in general, is 56....the way to learn about social relationships is to take the journey into the realm. You are on a quest..."be small and flexible, adapt to what crosses your path," ...test out your ideas and learn about the territory. You'll be fine.
It strikes me that 56 is also a reflection of your feeling that you are 'a stranger in a strange land', not sure where you belong, who you belong with....To a greater or lesser degree, every human being has to make this journey. you have a compass, or two. One is the I Ching....it will help you to learn to trust yourself
[QUOTE=trojan;70586]I think your reading perhaps might be advising you to live in the now, not look so much for long term solutions. 55 shows theres all sorts of things happening in your life, lots of choices, decisions, too many in fact, but bear in mind this is a temporary situation(56)
The people you hang around with now may not be real close friends but it doesn't matter that much, go with the flow take it as it comes. You could be getting tense because you are trying to see too far into the future, trying to find a group or friends you can settle with but I feel your reading says you are a traveller right now, with lots of opportunites (55).
Hi Trojan I know it's a bit late but just to say thanks for that - very true as well as I am super busy at the mo- and am planning on travelling to Nepal to volunteer in August so yeah lots of opportunities have been presenting themselves - lots of decisions to make too as I have just finished my final year at uni and need to decide a 'career' direction at some point!
Thanks listener too very helpful - I often do feel like I don't belong, especially in groups, but at the same time yeah that probs applies to everyone - and it changes day by day depending on my mood/ interactions! So I am going to think positive about next year and take it day by day and look forward to it!
PO BOX 255,
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).