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asked for advice and got 40.1.2>51

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aine

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I was curious what the people on the board would make of a reading like this one. I was asking the iChing about this crush I've had for a couple of months. Sometimes he seems very interested but lately he's been cold and withdrawn (I just learned after casting just now, that he's finishing a particularly bad end of semester at Uni). I made a lot of casts, laying out scenarios and asking if that would work. All the answers seemed to point at me being in a precarious situation that I can neither move forward nor retreat from, and nothing works, not even giving up. I know living is a growing process and growing into a better, stronger person is more valuable than a relationship working out -to put things in perspective. iChing beautifully reflects this philosophy, I think. So my last question was for general advice, attitude I should take with the greatest peace of mind and personal growth as the goal.

The response was 40.1.2 to 51 (shock).

I'm really not sure what to make of that. Any advice?

Thanks, you all are very kind.
 

rosada

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You say that lately it appears his interest has waned. I think

40.1
is telling you this is a good thing, because the friendship wasn't going all that great anyway. Now you just have to trust it's all for the best and 40.2 is encouraging you that as you do and as you resist dreaming about what might of been you will actually be gaining some valuable spiritual strength.

Of course, then just when you've Delivered yourself from this fantasy you just may get...

51.
A surprise phone call!

-rosada
 
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aine

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Thanks Rosada. I wasn't sure what the deliverance might be from. I thought that maybe since the semester is over he might be less distracted and talk with me again, I'll know when I see him next. I'm thinking that the deliverance might be from the crush feelings too, that relationship was so much fun before the crush and I'd like to go back to my previous care-free ways, when it didn't matter. I don't know how to do this :duh: I hope this reading means I will be successful at it anyway. In which case its a very positive message.
 
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casstone

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Well this thread got started 4 years ago but I feel like commenting on it anyways.

In brief I think 40.1.2 - 51 is telling you to let go of your fears
 

betrdanevr

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Well this thread got started 4 years ago but I feel like commenting on it anyways.

In brief I think 40.1.2 - 51 is telling you to let go of your fears

Well, casstone, it's about 5 years later and I just got this same cast regarding a man I'm gobsmacked over. :blush: Thank you for your comment!! :bows:
 

anyah

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I wrote the original question. I lost the password, hence the new name.

It turns out that Rosada's response was correct. I was crazy over this guy. He was fun and easy to be around. But after he briefly sent out a feeler of romantic interest I couldn't go back to that fun and comfortable original way we were. All I could feel was paralyzing fear being around him, and he totally lost interest in me and moved on to other girls until he found the one. It took years for me to regain composure around him. I'm interested in changing that pattern and just want to practice being around the men I like too much so that I can learn gradually to let go of fear. I'm worlds better, but not there yet.

I accidentally found this thread because I asked about another guy with whom I have the exact same pattern and got the same hex. I enjoyed the heck out of this guy really, really enjoyed him for a few months. I was totally in the moment, not wanting anything completely at peace. But I started sensing a buildup of emotion on his part that seemed to cross a line. My intuition told me that things were about to get over sensitive leading to uncomfortable feelings and possibly the friendship ending. This is exactly what happened. (predictable even without intuition).

I want my easy, fun friend back. He was trying but I've felt so uncomfortable around him that I just can't be the same anymore. He made a subtle gesture of affection and that made me feel better. However, now he's acting uncomfortable around me and is pushing me away a little (not completely). It seems to be oscillating out of control and dispersing away. The cast suggests that I lost a friend and I'm better off without him in my life anyway. I wish I didn't have to go through this again. But I am learning that life goes on and other things will come my way. Sorry for venting so much here. I'm not casting anymore about this one because I did it too many times and I've seen every line of every hex. One thing I've learned from this is that every answer can be seen as both positive and negative, depending on what I'm inclined to believe or want to believe in the moment. I'm convinced that IChing isn't about predictions so much as helping you think about the problem differently and find a quicker peace. You need to employ both intuition and the iChing equally to understand, but it only works when you are clear headed.

I did ask, however, how will I find my true love this year and got 4 UC. Yeah, I was trying to be an optimist, and Ye isn't letting me get away with that. So I asked if I would find love this year and got 64 UC. I supposed that it's saying that I'm not ready yet.
 
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diamanda

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Hi anyah,

how will I find my true love this year and got 4 UC
It's still unknown. Or this is an immature way to view the situation.

if I would find love this year and got 64 UC
Yes it does sound like the situation is not quite there yet.

And only because the original question still seems to be relevant...

attitude I should take with the greatest peace of mind and personal growth as the goal.
40.1.2 > 51

40.1 - there's no mistake and no blame.
40.2 - the guy is a player who plays the field. There are lots of cunning people in the world.
51 - the issue has got nothing to do with your attitude. A shock comes to you from outside.

moved on to other girls until he found the one
He most probably found "the one" who will turn a blind eye to his occasional cheating.

and just want to practice being around the men I like too much
I can guarantee you with great certainty that even if you learn how to do that, it still won't make a difference. If a guy is a player, and doesn't want to settle down, he will remain thus, no matter what attitude you show towards him. Even if you're super confident, and lose the fear, etc etc etc, if a guy is a player then that's that. I would suggest you learn to recognise them and simply avoid them. Or, you can learn how to turn a blind eye to occasional cheating.

I was totally in the moment, not wanting anything completely at peace
There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting something. On the contrary it's normal. It's actually one of the biggest red flags when the guy makes you feel that you shouldn't really want anything more.
 

equinox

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I did ask, however, how will I find my true love this year and got 4 UC. Yeah, I was trying to be an optimist, and Ye isn't letting me get away with that.

Hm, you seem to have gone through a lot of pain, detected a relationship pattern in your life and reflected well and maturely on it. Funny that the I-Ching answered with "Inexperience" respectively "Youthful folly" on your question how to find love.

Is it saying that you still should keep some innonce of the heart in love matters, depite after all these experiences, allow yourself to stay curious?
Or does it mean that this pattern derives from your youth or childhood time and that you should keep that in mind, being careful not to make the same mistakes again?
Maybe both at once, which seems to be a balancing act?

Also it could mean that the Yi already told you or that you already know, but are somehow resistant towards the message. So maybe, as you already said, it is a good time to refrain from asking the I-Ching repeatedly the same question.

So I asked if I would find love this year and got 64 UC. I supposed that it's saying that I'm not ready yet.

Could be, at the same time I find it is a hopeful anwer, indicating that you are going to suceed in finally making the transitition and find what you truly wish for. Maybe are on that transition point now.
 

anyah

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Thank you Diamanda and Equinox. I hope all this means that I'm going through a transition time, and maybe I need to go through this last bit of cutting karma before anything good can happen. Hard times are meant to make us stronger, and wipe clean our karmic slate, I guess. Maybe that's where 4 comes in, clean karmic slates and a return to innocence. I hold myself to a high standard and let the rest of the world do what it has to do, and if its disappointing at least I know it wasn't something I did. Knowing that I wasn't acting with immaturity makes a huge difference and is a source of confidence. It's disappointing to think of this guy as playing me, but also believable. I still hope we can be friends again, because I want to like him without having to care about what he does. His company used to be enjoyable, but I'm so disappointed that I don't know if I can ever really enjoy being around him again. Not just because of I-Ching responses, I saw signs of potential immaturity, but no solid proof. IChing just seems to validate it.

I'm working on a manifestation list. It's worked for me recently in getting a job I really like and allowing me to leave my former crappy job. I'm now a believer in these things!
 

anyah

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I hope it's okay to ask one last thing. I did meet a fellow recently. He seemed cool and we exchanged numbers, but I've been going back and forth about contacting him. I'm pretty sure my dyslexia kicked in and I gave him transposed numbers. I was hesitating to contact him because I think the guy should make first contact. Plus he knows the guy mentioned above (I don't care anymore). IChing suggested 45.1.4 to 3. I don't know if that's a romance or a friendship or just a successful contact. But it doesn't seem bad.
 

rosada

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How will I find my true love this year?
4uc.
There is no way you can know this through words. You just have to get into the game and see what happens.

Will I find love this year?
64uc.
Uncertain. It’s as if you are between lifetimes this year - reviewing the past, planning the future. Perhaps not the best time to start something new or maybe a tease that a new relationship could start as soon as this year but only if you have completed something first.
 

rosada

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How will I find my true love this year?
4uc.
There is no way you can know this through words. You just have to get into the game and see what happens.

Will I find love this year?
64uc.
Uncertain. It’s as if you are between lifetimes this year - reviewing the past, planning the future. Perhaps not the best time to start something new or maybe a tease that a new relationship could start as soon as this year but only if you have completed something first.
 

anyah

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Thank you Rosada. I like the idea of being between lifetimes and cleaning things up. I think there's a kind of clarity that comes with disappointment if you just let yourself feel it, even though I hate going through this. It almost sounds like a better version of me will be able to find love.
 

Viru10

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To add onto this decade old thread, I got this cast when asking about a general relationship question: "what do I need to know about how close I am to meeting someone", a bit wordy sure but something non-Yi related stuck out to me about your post.

I have pretty bad OCD, and one of the ways it manifests is in relationships, it's specifically called "Relationship OCD"

He was fun and easy to be around. But after he briefly sent out a feeler of romantic interest I couldn't go back to that fun and comfortable original way we were. All I could feel was paralyzing fear being around him, and he totally lost interest in me and moved on to other girls until he found the one.

This really reminded me about a pattern I get into to, being interested in someone and having a great initial platonic connection than suddenly paralyzing when it seems things should move onto the next step. I realized the paralysis/anxiety I experience is more than the normal anxiety someone should experiencing so when I learned about how OCD manifests in this area it definitely clicked.

Essentially, OCD is over-thinking things to the extreme and in really specific ways. Your brain fires off every possible "what if" scenario (what if they reject me, what if it works out and then they reject me, what if I do this and they do that etc. etc.), essentially blasting you with questions that can't be answered because there's too much uncertainty underlying the question. What's helped me is 1. medication and 2. accepting uncertainty around these situations. Settling with the idea that "maybe this will work out maybe it won't" or even "maybe this will go horribly and ruin my life, maybe it won't" which is exposing yourself to a fearful intrusive thought and reducing your fear around the subject until it becomes boring.

All this to say you may have OCD, im not sure but some of what you mentioned seems to ring true.
 

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