...life can be translucent

Menu

27 unchanging: Potential for Relationship

poised

visitor
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
370
Reaction score
11
I'm free and clear of my old relationship, I've been winding down for months, no contact for over 60 days, no emotion left for him. Maybe a little irritation. Mostly at myself for spending so much time with someone who was not really suitable for me.

AT my monthly authors' luncheon this week, I met an attractive older man who is also a member. We had a nice chat, he really lit up while we were talking. He was coming on so strong, I had to get up and go speak with someone else. I know that if I give him half a chance he'll want to pursue me. In a gentlemanly way, I assume.

I was thinking about him today and learned that his wife of many years died three years ago. Not sure I want any relationship, but there he is and he's available and pleasant. I asked Yi,

What's the potential for a relationship?

27 unchanging. Nurturing. The corners of the mouth.

Well, of course. "Open wide." He's a retired dentist. :D:D

We could nurture each other in many ways. I'd trade editing work for dental work, a good business arrangement, but he no longer has a dental office and I no longer wish to do editing work --so that's out. We had a lot to say to each other, have some common experiences, lived just a few miles from each other back in Florida, but didn't know it then. Being on similar tracks seems nurturing for both of us -- and that's hard for me to find.

We could go to the symphony together, go to the lake, meet each others' children....? Be friends. That's what it feels like today.

I'd like more than that with someone, eventually. Perhaps I should not spend time with this guy beyond seeing him at the luncheons.

Any observations will be welcome. What am I overlooking? What is the downside? Does an unchanging hexagram indicate it's going nowhere?

Many thanks for your help.
:bows:
:bows:
:bows:
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
What's the potential for a relationship?

27 unchanging. Nurturing. The corners of the mouth.

Well, of course. "Open wide." He's a retired dentist.

We could nurture each other in many ways. I'd trade editing work for dental work, a good business arrangement, but he no longer has a dental office and I no longer wish to do editing work --so that's out. We had a lot to say to each other, have some common experiences, lived just a few miles from each other back in Florida, but didn't know it then. Being on similar tracks seems nurturing for both of us -- and that's hard for me to find.

We could go to the symphony together, go to the lake, meet each others' children....? Be friends. That's what it feels like today.

I'd like more than that with someone, eventually. Perhaps I should not spend time with this guy beyond seeing him at the luncheons.

Yi just gave the question back to you......do you think he can fill your needs ? You have discussed this above...ypu have discussed in what ways he may or may not fulfil your needs. I don't see a prediction here just a reflection of your question....so you decide. It is it seems something you can decide for yourself/

That's as far as I've gotten with it http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...eriences-with-Unchanging-Castings-Hexagram-27 re that question in hindsight, yes, it was as simple to judge how useful that support group was to me as it is for me to judge if a meal is adequate to me.

When you are hungry you tend to know what kind of food would be good for you to satisfy your body and to nourish it. It's not a complicated decision...hunger is basic, You already know what kind of food a relationship needs to provide you with. If this isn't it, (and you may not know at first until you explore a little,) then you will need to reassess what it is you really need.

Whilst food is fairly easy to judge.....ie a sherbert dab or a stick of chewing gum will not satisfy me at this moment but apple cake might, it's true it's harder to know what we really need in relationships. You might needs to looks at those needs, as you have been, to figure what will feed them.
 
Last edited:

poised

visitor
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
370
Reaction score
11
what can the dentist fill?

do you think he can fill your needs ?

You're a treasure, Trojan.:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Actually, I'm a perpetual dental patient.

More later, I'm off to church.
 

ginnie

visitor
Joined
Dec 2, 2008
Messages
4,342
Reaction score
307
I think hexagram 27 unchanging points to complete nourishment on many levels. That is mutual nurturing in this case. Only the two of you can decide if that is good enough right now, as Trojan was pointing out above. Since you are starting out as strangers to each other, it might take a little time to get better acquainted. Chew your food slowly. That is, take human bites!
 
S

sooo

Guest
hey poised

I have conflicts about this one. No one can predict this story of you and the retired doc. It can only be chosen to live, or to not live. Consequences may be fulfilling or heart-breaking. Only you will someday be able to say, or not say.

I believe love is where you find it, and where it finds you. What you do with it is an entirely different decision, or perhaps commitment.
 

rodaki

visitor
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
78
I believe love is where you find it, and where it finds you. What you do with it is an entirely different decision, or perhaps commitment.

:bows:


I also liked what ginnie said, about 'taking human bites' . . I'm not sure what she had in mind but it said very succinctly what I felt reading your post, poised. What I was gonna add is that 27 may be asking you how honest or open you are towards the prospect of this relationship . . I could be wrong but the way you speak of it sounds less than, let's say, warm to the idea. You're measuring up benefits and what not, things to exchange but, somehow, I doubt that this is the best way to talk/think or approach a future connection - iow, a 'if this is what you put into it, that's what you'll get' sort of thing.

Also makes me wonder from where is what you're putting out, coming . . if it's from your feelings for this new guy, then things get rather obvious - if not, then you need to go back to the roots of it all

Btw, the unchanging hx has often come up for me when it's still too early to know more -
this image comes to mind
 

poised

visitor
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
370
Reaction score
11
Trojan, soo, rodaki, ginnie

Thanks all, for excellent observations. Yes, I was looking at "Potential" in terms of possible benefits. After being swept away by excitement and passion in my most recent and very painful relationship, I would like to be more measured in my approach to the next one.

The first possibility I mentioned, which is NOT a possibility be cause he's retired, is an exchange of dental/editing services, would have been a good reason to go further. Very nourishing.

The rest is pure speculation. And in truth, I'm still emotionally wrung out from J, not ready to let anyone else in. Lonely, but perhaps a lesson for me is to let loneliness have its day. It was even a struggle to chat with people at church.

So I'm not really interested in a new personal relationship. Wish the dentist still owned a drill, though. :D:D That would be a good opener.

Thanks for all of the excellent ideas and suggestions. Such wisdom! Such great ideas and wonderful perspective I have a much clearer idea of 27 now. And of my own process.

Years ago, it was trendy to write a list of all the things your next partner should have, be, and do. The universe would then bring him to you. The God-as-Santa approach of the roaring '80s. I wrote a very long list, took a couple of years. And then I met him. Check, check, check, and he was checking his list too. Perfection attained. We were married.

Ooooops. He'd concealed from me the fact that he was an alcoholic, never took a drink when he was courting me because I don't drink. He started drinking again the night we were married. Nasty when drunk. I sort of negotiated for a year and then left. Interesting that the goodies on the list really were there. But if you're tempted to try this, make two lists. Everything you think will make you happy and the all-important list two: everything you will NOT put up with. Balance.

Or just ask Yi and the wizards of Clarity.
:bows:
:bows:
:bows:
 

poised

visitor
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
370
Reaction score
11
Keepers/Weepers

I believe love is where you find it, and where it finds you. What you do with it is an entirely different decision, or perhaps commitment.

Yep. where you find it. But the L word is very threatening right now. I love my cat and my kids. Probably in that order. More, I'm not ready for. But tomorrow is another day.

Love,
Scarlett
 
Last edited:
S

sooo

Guest
Yep. where you find it. But the L word is very threatening right now. I love my cat and my kids. Probably in that order. More, I'm not ready for. But tomorrow is another day.

Love,
Scarlett

Ahh have no idea whateva you are talking about, Miss Scarlett. I was referring to Lemonade. Sweet lemonade.

:D Cheers!
 
S

sooo

Guest
I wrote, then deleted something earlier, but I still think the point I was trying to make has a place in this conversation. But rather than animate it through my story, let me simply refer you to Bradford's view of 27.6. Becoming someone's source of nourishment can suck the life out of you.
 

rodaki

visitor
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
78
hi Scarlett :)D)

you know, Yi might also be prompting you with 27 to nourish yourself first, get stronger, then come back and ask -or think - about a new man. In another divinatory method I've been using, there are signs that show some questions too early to be judged or answered . . unchanging hexagrams also feel like that on occasion. So chew your 'food' slow and well and see what other appetites a nourished heart brings up ;)
 

poised

visitor
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
370
Reaction score
11
"Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things it may be..."

makes me wonder from where is what you're putting out, coming . . if it's from your feelings for this new guy, then things get rather obvious - if not, then you need to go back to the roots of it all

Exactly. No feelings FOR...just felt nice to be appreciated. A wee ego trip. Not "we."

Too soon to even contemplate a new man, and that's 27 unchanging, probably. But the tough stuff about breaking up is behind me and I'm beginning to look forward to being appreciated, sharing private jokes, cooking together -- that stuff. Don't get me started.

Your picture reminded me:
:D:D:D: :mischief::mischief:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA
....
 
Last edited:

poised

visitor
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
370
Reaction score
11
lemonosity

Ahh have no idea whateva you are talking about, Miss Scarlett. I was referring to Lemonade. Sweet lemonade.

Ah declayah, Rhett, y'all still makin' lemonade from lemons? Cuz ah gots me a 190-pound lemon ah'd be glad to fedex to ya.

Not too farfetched, I think, to put those lemons under Hexagram 27. Keep a sharp eye on what y'all nourish yourself with.

Or as they say in the South, Some days chicken, some days feathers.
 
Last edited:

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top