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Hexagram 42...Increase?

maria22

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I've been talking a year now with a guy never met him.So I asked I ching if I'll ever meet him.
I got Hexagram 42(increase)
....Not changing.
Is that a yes or a no?
why is it not changing?
 

willowfox

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Yes, providing you want to meet him and that you make the effort.
 
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meng

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Wf, was wondering how you might answer this. Cool answer, imo.
 

steve

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I agree increase is what it says

Steve
 
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meng

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I know it sounds corny or new age-ish, but increase does begin in the mind. I'm going through a nice part of a 42 cycle, but if I didn't make the necessary mental adjustments yesterday, this wouldn't be happening today.

What I especially like about Willowfox's response is the contingency: providing you want to meet him and that you make the effort.
 

maria22

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course I wanna meet him...And I am willing to make an effort "to go" see him but not if he doesn't ask me to.
 

maria22

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What I especially like about Willowfox's response is the contingency: providing you want to meet him and that you make the effort.

That means everything depends on me......Doesn't it?
 

maria22

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just saying...I just don't wanna be the only one trying to meet and I don't wanna ask him to meet me...The deal I want is....He asks to meet me... I go see him.
 
D

diamanda

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"So I asked I ching if I'll ever meet him" and you got 42.
Well this sounds extremely positive.
It sounds almost certain that you will meet this guy eventually.

But you didn't exactly ask 'what can i do so that we meet'.
So the answer does not necessarily describe what you have to do.
It might well describe the circumstances under which you two shall meet.

'Increase', and unchanging, perhaps refers to your relationship with this
guy continuously and steadily 'increasing'. You two increasingly becoming
closer and closer, so that at some point a meeting will be 'inevitable' (in
the good sense).

I agree with your take on this, you'd like him to take the initiative to
ask, and you would then gladly accept. 42 speaks of something similar:
"Worthwhile to have somewhere to go".
Activity is favoured if you already have a direction, then all movement
will be advantageous.
Again, this is only a hint, and perhaps you should ask what would be
the best thing you can do to make this happen?

PS - also consider LiSe's comments, about 42 ('The bowl of the raingod'):
"Without a pot, even torrents of refreshing water will drain away unused.
For every blessing, you have to bring along a pot." So again, i don't see
it as if you have to make all the moves. Being ready to accept sounds
good already!
 
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willowfox

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It looks like if you won't be flexible about this, then forget about meeting him. Hex 42 says that if you make the effort then you will meet but it is only what could happen if you make it so, if you do nothing then expect nothing to happen.

The I ching could tell you that you will win the lotto but you won't win unless you go down to the shop and buy a ticket.
 

Trojina

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Surely you would meet at the point the relationship has reached a certain pitch of intensity, where the wish to meet on both sides has become strong enough for action to be taken. This depends on how much you put in now, thats what i think your answer refers to. I don't think it necessarily refers to you asking him directly to meet now, only to you 'pouring more in' as in investing more time and energy in the online relationship. Obviously if you spent less time chatting to him etc the chance of the relationship strengthening is lessened. Its a very simple answer really - the more you put in the more you get out. Nothing more is promised.
 

maria22

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It looks like if you won't be flexible about this, then forget about meeting him. Hex 42 says that if you make the effort then you will meet but it is only what could happen if you make it so, if you do nothing then expect nothing to happen.

The I ching could tell you that you will win the lotto but you won't win unless you go down to the shop and buy a ticket.


well asking him to meet me and also GO(thats actualy covering a certain distance-I never said we lived near to each other) isn't that too much?I mean I wish there could be something I COULD do or SAY to him that'd make him ask me to go see him....But there is NO WAY I am asking to meet him.I want him to ask me to.
 

maria22

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Surely you would meet at the point the relationship has reached a certain pitch of intensity, where the wish to meet on both sides has become strong enough for action to be taken. This depends on how much you put in now, thats what i think your answer refers to. I don't think it necessarily refers to you asking him directly to meet now, only to you 'pouring more in' as in investing more time and energy in the online relationship. Obviously if you spent less time chatting to him etc the chance of the relationship strengthening is lessened. Its a very simple answer really - the more you put in the more you get out. Nothing more is promised.

Thats exactly what I do NOT wanna do-ask him directly that is-.
So I guess investing more time and energy to chatting with him is THE ANSWER.
Gosh I have issues. I hate trying cause I fear failure and not getting what I want. Its sick really.
 
D

diamanda

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Thats exactly what I do NOT wanna do-ask him directly that is-.
So I guess investing more time and energy to chatting with him is THE ANSWER.
Gosh I have issues. I hate trying cause I fear failure and not getting what I want. Its sick really.

I really don't see why it's 'you' who has the 'issues'.
You want the guy to ask you. That's far from abnormal.
If you do show interest in him, and show you'd be up for it... then...?
Then if he does not come to you, or at least ask you to go to him,
then he's not the sort of guy you're after.
Wanting the guy to ask you, when you're 'welcoming', is not 'issues'.
You could probably say this would be wrong with other areas in life,
but coming to courtship? i see it as very normal.
 
M

maremaria

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Thats exactly what I do NOT wanna do-ask him directly that is-.
So I guess investing more time and energy to chatting with him is THE ANSWER.
Gosh I have issues. I hate trying cause I fear failure and not getting what I want. Its sick really.

Join the club !!!

If not everybody, most the people fear of the possible rejection or for an answer they don’t like. . At least the people I know don’t feel thrilled when rejected by one the want to be together.

They say we learn from our faults So here I won’t talk you about something wise but about something foolish. He an I were met at the 2nd grade. Fell in love quite soon, but till the 3th grade non of us dare to say something. I was waiting for him to make the first movement, he I don’t know what. At the end of 3 grade, during a fight-flirting-play incident he tried to kiss me. Then some friends were around us, exhausted of our games tell him. “do, it , do it , we can be patient any more.” It was that obvious what was between us. Our friends knew we had feelings for each other, all our classmate too, the 5 classes of 3 grade, all the school teachers and too many other pupils of our school. Everybody was talking about us , except us. He never asked me for I date and I didn’t either. I wanted to asked me and he, as I find out much later, he wanted to show him that I was really interest to him. He was sure that I would reject him.

Relationships, any kind of relationships, don’t work sometimes. But I believe is better to know that you have done the best you could to make them work than don’t do anything and expect from the other to do all the work.
Those ideas that men should make always the first step sometimes does not work. Both men and women have their issues and one of them is the fear of been rejected.
Have you seen the movie “un liaison pornographic”. ? if yes, do you remember the end scene. They both wanted to be together but because they thought the other didn’t want they decided to said no to that relationship.

If you don’t really care about meeting him and further that relationship don’t do anything. But if you want to give a chance to both of you then do something.
I don’t know what, you know better
This is what I know from my own messes. Maybe this will help you maybe not.

All the best,
Maria
 
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bamboo

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There are ways to "make the effort" without looking like you're making the effort:)

being friendly, a little flirtatious, and expressing curiousity about how he looks in person , e.g, are all ways to show interest and be inviting without actually inviting him anywhere. I agree that both men and women have the rejection issue, it's natural, but I also agree that letting the male actually ask you to meet him is the better way.. BUt you can certainly let him know that you want to .

My favorite image of 42 is one on the computer Yi program I have...it is of water rushing forward. It sounds like the tide is in your favor; If I were you, I would say something like "how long are we going to talk without my being able to actually see you?"

you are not asking him to meet you, but suggesting that he ask. If he doesnt respond to that by asking you to meet, then maybe he is just too afraid. not a rejection of you at all;)
 

maria22

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My favorite image of 42 is one on the computer Yi program I have...it is of water rushing forward. It sounds like the tide is in your favor; If I were you, I would say something like "how long are we going to talk without my being able to actually see you?"
I have a reply I think I'd get..."Web Cam?"
Uh, but I'll try and be all freindly and stuff see if he asks...Though he jokes about me meeting him but I can't count on that!!!
He jokes like..."Wont you come and rub my back?"
Stuff like that...And I wouldn't wanna say something serious while he's making a joke.I mean I know he'd want me to but when he see the actual possibility of me being there I think he freaks out.
 

maria22

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I really don't see why it's 'you' who has the 'issues'.
You want the guy to ask you. That's far from abnormal.
If you do show interest in him, and show you'd be up for it... then...?
Then if he does not come to you, or at least ask you to go to him,
then he's not the sort of guy you're after.
Wanting the guy to ask you, when you're 'welcoming', is not 'issues'.
You could probably say this would be wrong with other areas in life,
but coming to courtship? i see it as very normal.

Thank you Diamanda...If he doesn't then he is not the guy I am after-very true-.
And yes, in this case "waitting" and see how it goes is the suitable...I'v been thinking that I am affraid of trying in manny ereas in my life...Like in the job feild or personal relationships...My friends say that I see manny situations as "unfavorable" while they are not...Thats why I don't try. Maybe I am pessimistic who knows.
 

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