43.4 to 5 Reputation

[leepdx]

A co-worker who I used to consider a friend has spent much time lately spreading gossip about me at work. She tends to make assumptions so I am sure what she is telling others is not truthful. I have mostly kept my distance from her and tried not to fuel the fire by defending myself. Yesterday she suddenly behaved as if all is fine between us and I asked the I Ching why she changed and received 13.2.6 to 43. Today I asked if my other co-workers will eventually recognize that what she says isn't the truth.

The higher ups are unable to deal with it as they are men who think it is just women fighting and are unlikely to believe it is a problem. Waiting doesn't seem possible as I am scheduled to oversee an organization wide project that requires working with everyone and I do not have the luxury of time.

Thank you.

 

[yxeli]

Hey,

I can feel your frustration in your words.

I'd hazard a guess that this is a factionforming type scenario (13.2) but eventually itll lead to an ok friendship, a friendship of acceptance of everyone.(13.6)

Also, Your line of questioning to Yi probably isnt the ideal.

Instead on focusing on what she did, maybe continue with a question like 'how should i behave toward her'? Keep it focused on improvement and on what you personally need to bring to the table here.

Bests,

Yx

 

[leepdx]

Good point on the phrasing of my question(s), It is better to master myself. I appreciate the insight. I was friendly in return. May I ask what is fractionforming?

 

[yxeli]

forming of factions. exclusivity within a group. Always reminds me of some ape-like social tendency we've not yet evolved past. 'my tribe against your tribe'.

Being friendly, even without using the Yi, is the obvious plan here. Noone can keep anger going when you rise above it (13.6) and see the bigger picture.

Yx

 

[gene]

leepdx

The tone of the hexagrams and lines would indicate that the friendliness she is showing you is not real at the highest level. However, you are going to have to accept the situation as is for now. If she has ruined your reputation, you will have to just do your work and not show that you are affected by it. Eventually people will see the truth.

As a general rule, in the workforce, men do not interfere in the problems of others unless it affects someone's work or ability to work. Therefore, you will rarely see men taking problems to human resources. They tend to work things out among themselves. And here is a difference between the way men and women interact in the workforce, because men expect people to take care of their own problems and they don't worry about if someone is uncomfortable. Women will often take problems to human resources because they feel uncomfortable in dealing with them themselves. From a man's point of view, it doesn't matter whether you are uncomfortable or not, you are expected to deal with it regardless.

Anyway, I know how these things can affect people. Line six indicates that even at this point, things are not totally satisfactory. Sometimes that is just the way life is, and we need to learn to deal with it. We often cannot get out of our difficulties until we have learned to accept the situation as is.

Gene

 

[leepdx]

Gene:

Thank you for the words of wisdom, your advice of acceptance is very wise. As a people pleaser it is difficult to ignore the feeling she expects me to reach out to her again but I don't feel a kinship anymore. I see you have been a member here for many years. May I ask a question? Do you notice it seems one receives the same hexagrams over and over again and some one rarely or never receives? I have been studying the I Ching for about 28 years and still have hexagrams I've never gotten.

 

[leepdx]

Yxeli:

A very accurate assessment, cliques are the norm here. I realize I stopped visiting with her as much which was quite unconscious.

 

[gene]

Hi leepdx

Yes, it is true that some hexagrams will come up more often than others, but you must remember also that the odds of certain hexagrams coming up are lower. For example, it is less likely that you will get hexagrams one and two or sixty three and sixty four, because in the first case they are all either yang lines or yin lines, and in the second case all the lines are either in their correct place or in their incorret place. Hexagrams that have a relatively equal number of yin and yang lines are more likely to come up. I once had a book that gave the odds for each hexagram.

That being said, it is also true that certain hexagrams will come up more often for one individual because of his or her mental state than others will. I have been reading hexagrams for personal development for thirty five years, yet I almost never get hexagram 60. Now once in a while it will start popping up several times, but then it goes away again. It depends on what a particular individual needs to know for their own personal needs A while back I was getting hexagram sixteen over and over again. Now it never pops up. Hexagram thirty six is another one I rarely get. It does come up though in readings about actual situations, but rarely for personal development. There truly is an intelligence behind the I Ching which most people never guess at. So yes, for both of the reasons above, you may receive certain hexagrams over and over again, and never get others.

I have been on this site for a lot of time, but some have much more time, and I have come and gone due to reasons I won't go into now.

Gene

 

[meng]

forming of factions. exclusivity within a group. Always reminds me of some ape-like social tendency we've not yet evolved past. 'my tribe against your tribe'.

Being friendly, even without using the Yi, is the obvious plan here. Noone can keep anger going when you rise above it (13.6) and see the bigger picture.

Yx

Odd as it likely sounds, this is why I no longer accept friend requests, and have deleted those I'd had.

I associate with the Yi because of impartiality.

 

[meng]

Oh, about your reading, leepdx. 43 is letting your freak flag fly, but without poking someone in the eye. I think this refers to the gossiper in your situation; and the eye she's poking is yours. I think the council is to bide your time, do your job. Your time to cross that river will come. Then it'll be your time to 43.

As far as concern over acceptance of others; that can actually create or exaggerate ones perception of cliques and conspiracies working against you. I believe that's where the "if a person were to let themselves be led" line comes in. Just imagine if you could be content, regardless. I think that's the frame of mind your answer speaks of.

 

[leepdx]

Meng: Thank you for the insight. On perception, yes that is possible but I am assuming it's a lesson for me on caring about my reputation. As a former friend I know this person does engage in the tribal faction forming yxeli describes as I have been part of her clique. Now I am happily without a side

 

[leepdx]

Gene:
Interesting, now when I receive one of the low probability hexagrams I am inclined to reflect deeper on it than I have in the past.

Thank you,
Lee