Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
So I got recently a i ching reading suggesting I work on myself first, then try relationships.
that's a biggie !!! I agree with that and maybe its what 57.2 refers too.and no amount of therapy or self work may completely get rid of it
For when such elusive influences are brought into the light and branded, they lose their power over people.
I guess the real thing that makes me question, just so you all know, and no amount of therapy or self work may completely get rid of it, I had a borderline personality girlfriend and the aftermath makes me always question things.
I must admit that's quite a pessimistic view of things - already setting yourself up for failure. Until the day you do not quite understand all the influences that were at play when (and WHY) you were involved with such a person, yes, this is going to influence your way of thinking. The first step, however, is to acknowledge your own mental traps, and then one day you'll go: "Meh, that's not me anymore." So good for you with choosing to work on yourself instead of getting involved. Least of all with someone committed.
Also, there's no need to be afraid of knowing the truth about your relation to her, even having brought this up in the first place changes the way you will have to relate to her. Asking about it will take the power her existence has over you away, and maybe this girl is literally only there to reaffirm your decision that YOU come first right now. So go ahead and ask: What is my best course of action in relation to her? or What do I need to understand about my relation to her? (might as well ask that about the ex too, maybe you'll gain new insight)
sometimes it works simultaneously,imo.
newlife, I think the only thing I am overthinking is my fears... As anemos suggested, working on this friendship IS working on myself and I have gained more in a few weeks than months of work. I never got the impression from any of our interactions that she would just up and leave her boyfriend for me, my gut feeling suggests as littlebuddha said, that if anything happens, it will happen over time as the IC suggests, she will eventually realize she wants to be with me, not bc I'm "better", but just bc she will. But this is IF.As i understand it, 57.2 to 53 here says not to make important decisions hastily and also not to be influenced by others' insinuations. On the other hand, indecisiveness and hesitation might result in an impasse, so the timing might be crucial here. It does seems though that for the time-being it's the best to keep being friendly and nice towards your colleague, without going overboard and becoming pushy.
If read quite literally, maybe it would be opportune for you to get a professional reading? (I mean to consult a trusted pro I Ching or other consultant.)
Hexagram 53 is about gradual progress, the eventual relationship will probably take time to develop, hence the opportunity to work on self awareness and on patience too.
Hope this helps.
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).