Is someone thinking something bad about me?

[clarissa]

I have this horrible fear that a friend is thinking something bad about me. (I'll ask her...but I wanted to ask the Yi first) It was really bugging me so I asked two questions:

Does she think I'm a .........?

46.5 -> 48

The next day I thought it might be a good idea to rephrase that so that it wouldn't be a yes/no question: What about this fear I have that she may think I'm a .........?

3.1 -> 8

Do I have anything to worry about? From my limited knowledge of the Yi...I'd say that I don't. Both 46.5 and 3.1 seem to be saying that I'm on the right track...nothing is "off". However, I'd like some input.

 

[clarissa]

Anyone?

 

[jesed]

Hi Clarissa

I think it isn't a good use of Yi Jing ask "What X is thinking or feeling about me".

I'd learned that is not correct ("if you want to know, ask her/him, not the Yi Jing" told me my master) and the answers usually are not easy to understand.

Is better to ask (at least in my experience)... "how is my relation whit X right now?" (if there is any goship or missundestanding between you an him/her.. the answer to this question usually shows it)

Best whises

 

[hester]

the fear you have that she may think youre a.....
(3.1 > 8) "Nip It in the Bud!"

Does she think I'm a...?
(46.5 > 48) 'Push up through this feeling (48)'...'Persevere',' one step at a time', 'easy does it'..., ....that kind of thing.

Perhaps you are using the Yi to check in on the psychic feelings you get, to gage if your feelings are on target or not, could the Yi be guiding you in a greater process about this?

What is the level where the lines resonate for you? That must be where your instruction lies...you will know after you talk with your friend. Then you can compare notes with the Yi!

xox
hester

 

[bruce]

We wouldn?t worry what others think of us if we knew how seldom they did.

 

[luz]

Lol!

Did you make that up or you read it somewhere?

 

[bruce]

Taught to me by a business mentor.

He was more direct, saying 'you wouldn't worry, etc...' but putting it that way to someone you don't even know is just a little too direct, me thinks.

I keep it in my "painful truths" folder. lol

 

[luz]

It shouldn't be so painful!

It frees you from the obsession that others might be obsessed with you!

 

[bruce]

Absolutely. And the simple truth is that others are often too preoccupied worrying what you think of them. The whole thing is rather comical, I think. Humans are the strangest animals.

 

[clarissa]

I don't think it's wrong to want to know what someone thinks of you. I think it's pretty darn important most of the time.

 

[jerryd]

Clarissa I find If I am worried what someone thinks I need to look at my self and ask why anyone might have a reason to think poorly of me?

 

[clarissa]

Jerryd,

Sometimes it's just a misunderstanding. However, I think it most certainly IS important to have at least some grip on what people are thinking of you. People who are thinking poorly of you (rightly or wrongly) are not to be trusted for one. Also, if you ask...many times they will not give you a straight answer...or they may lie and say that there isn't a problem. This is reality

 

[hester]

I dont think it's so bad. I ask questions like that once in a while. I get good answers. The other day I saw my ex whom I had not seen in 8 years. We did not speak, only exchanged silent thoughts, and I noticed I felt incredibly happy to see this person. Several days later I asked the Yi what he was thinking of me. The answer was 14 line 5. I took it in the proper context (fleeting, this was just a moment) and moved on. The line does not mean anything more than we saw the best in each other. That was important for me to know.

 

[bruce]

Clarissa, my response was mostly tongue in cheek, but also true in many cases. I agree that it can sometimes matter what a certain individual thinks of you, and that asking them can be more awkward than asking Yi.

However, more often than not Yi's response to such a question will reflect back upon us, requiring some sort of adjustment to our perception, and that usually clears up the need to know what someone else thinks. Inner security that rests upon the perception of others typically isn't very stable. This council is repeated throughout the Yi.

 

[clarissa]

"Inner security that rests upon the perception of others typically isn't very stable."

I wasn't talking about inner security. I was talking about OUTER security. I don't give a hoot what someone thinks of me if they don't have a position in my life and therefore can't do me any harm. If they do, believe me...I care.

 

[bruce]

Well, one good thing is, it's probable that others don't have to guess about what you think.

A snap shot of your first reading: I'd say she thinks you're a strong willed woman who may be a little impetuous, but who is also deep in spirit and convictions.

Second reading: In new enterprises or associations, it is well to hold together, to hold back and remain a bit humble, if you desire cooperation.

 

[hester]

great readings bruce.

 

[clarissa]

"Well, one good thing is, it's probable that others don't have to guess about what you think."

No, they usually don't. However, I have learned the hard way that there ARE times when it's better to keep my opinions to myself. In this particular case I went charging ahead with something...and then later wondered if I had gone too far. At the time it felt like the thing to do. Thanks for commenting. It looks as if I'm OK

Hester, I've asked about a few people....what they were feeling about me. It pretty much confirmed what I already knew. In one case I was surprised though...since the reading was better than what I had expected. That made me feel good

 

[Liselle]

LiSe Heyboer's site says this about 3.1:<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

<font color="119911">Initial 9 : Turning round and round. Harvest: a settling determination. Harvest: to install feudal lords.
Nothing starts out of nowhere, but the art is to make it become real, to make things emerge from the endless ocean of unrealized potentials. What you do is more important than what you can, because only what you do becomes real. Once you start with doing, your capacities will join in by themselves.</font><!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>Turning around in circles, trying to begin something, trying to make something "real"...in the context of fearing what someone thinks of you - maybe you're "worrying" something into existence that wouldn't be there otherwise? Or giving more 'life' to a fear than it really deserves, even if it might actually be somewhat legitimate? That's really so much just a guess...if it has no resonance toss it on the 'bad guess' pile.

Is this an appropriate question for the I Ching? I dunno, but "real life" really does matter I think, and people really do have such a tendency to gloss things over with niceties if you ask them questions like this, or they just want to avoid getting into heavy discussions...the I Ching at least will be an honest broker and you'll be better prepared for the actual human.

Also, I'll second Hester's experience - I've asked the I Ching any number of questions about other peoples' thoughts about me, how they're doing in their lives, things of that nature. Sometimes the answer will tell me to mind my own business, but quite often I'll get a straightforward and useful response.

I think the important thing would be to be honest with ourselves about our motivations for asking...the little voice inside usually tells us if we're being 'honorable' or not! Based on just my own experience, I don't get the impression that Yi has a general policy against asking about other people...

 

[Liselle]

Erm...Clarissa, if it seems like I posted without reading your last post, you're right...I was too busy typing and didn't check for updates...

 

[clarissa]

Lisa,

I think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill with this issue. It was just one of those moments when a "what if?" comes into your head....and then a feeling of cold dread washes over you

.....because this thing was pretty bad. I honestly think it was as you say..."giving more 'life' to a fear than it really deserves". The couple of people I told about it...laughed when I told them my fear

 

[Liselle]

Clarissa,

Glad to hear this! I worry over and second-guess my interactions with people all the time - sometimes with very good reason

, and sometimes not.

Maybe this is an example of it being actually a good thing that you asked the I Ching about it before talking to the person (though with the willingness to talk to the person). Possibly ACTUAL harm could be done to a relationship by airing an "issue" that didn't really exist, that is until, with the best possible intentions, you raised it...if you see what I'm trying to get at...