October 29th, 2011, 03:18 AM
Following my path 42.2,4,6 > 58
I have meditated and tried to maintain some sense of inner peace for most of my life, but after five increasingly stressful years, I started consulting Yi earlier this year to help guide me. (My nickname comes from the number of times that I have received 17 in my readings.) I've been consulting this forum quite a bit to help me figure out some of my readings, but I got a line today that has me a bit stumped. Plus many of my recent readings have repeated that I not insist on doing everything alone and turn to those with more experience for guidance. Who am I to object to that wisdom?
This needs a bit of background. After some horrible bits of manipulation from my family, my boyfriend and I moved to a new town. I thought that would help calm things down but it didn't. The last bit of manipulation led to me telling my family that I love them but I have to follow my own path. Unfortunately, their manipulations had the potential to harm my boyfriend. He has moved out and needs space to work through the headspace that he's in. Like my family, I can be pushy and emotionally volatile (something I'm working on and a big part of why I turned to meditation). My goal for me is to be joyful and get rid of as much of my acquired conditioning that has been undermining my balance.
My boyfriend came to visit today and we saw each other for the first time since my family's major manipulations and it was our first real conversation. I do not want to lose the ground that I have been gaining, but you can't live in hermitude. I did ask him some questions about if he was moving back in, where our relationship was, etc. I asked the Yi "Did I hold to my path when my boyfriend came to visit today?" I got 42.2,4,6 > 58.
Overall, this seems positive with a slight chastisement that I still need to practice more on not pushing, but I'm at a loss as to how to interpret it with 42.6. I want to take it as a warning not to get too cocky, to make sure that I stay focused. I have been using the Cleary interpretation as a reference (which falls open to 42 now since I have received this hex so many times now), which says to reduce your own faults before trying to help others, that if you are inconsistent or inconstant in increasing your goodness and development, you bring loss and misfortune. With the rest of the lines, is this a reminder or warning that can change 58 to the wrong kind of joy if I don't stay true to my path or is it something else?
October 29th, 2011, 01:11 PM
I can find no fault in your self analysis or presentation, except to say that perhaps you are being too much of a perfectionist regarding everyone including yourself. Maybe your conditions are too strict, or perhaps you try to direct too much and not trust or follow enough. This is not an easy thing for me to say because, intellectually, you seem to have it very together. But maybe so much together that others are not meeting your high standards. Therefore to increase others, you may need to decrease yourself. A difficult and somewhat ironic thing to consider, I realize, but it may lead you to the deeper joy you seek.
October 29th, 2011, 04:17 PM
Sooo, thank you so very much. Illumination comes like lightening. I accept many more faults in others than I do myself. I tell myself all the time I need to be less "perfect" to be more balanced. The missing piece, and one I've been missing for a while, is by setting my own standards to be so high and being so unforgiving with myself, others will assume that I do the same with them. It does make me less flexible. That makes so much sense, especially in context of the other lines. Continued balanced action by decreasing strength and increasing flexibility. Increase others, decrease self.
With my family, I love them but I can't let their fears from issues in the past control my life. I could deal with manipulating me, but not extending it out past me. I have moved back and forth near them for the last 15 years. It's a very destructive yo-yo of love and manipulation. I have urged them to go to counseling and will stay in touch with the kids. If someone pokes you in the eye, you can ask them to stop, redirect their hand, move your head, poke back, or walk away. I have done the first three and was still getting poked in the eye. (Perhaps I should have taken a different action before someone else was poked in the eye, but that's being too hard on myself.) I won't poke back. I love them. They love me. This is them being too strong and not flexible enough.
That is beautiful.
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