I have been trying to follow the 11 advice, peace, withdrawl etc regarding the man who I'm interested in. I went to the symphony with friends a week ago tomorrow. I haven't heard from the man in question in 2 weeks though now he is back in town. I thought to email him and say I'm sorry he missed it, bc it was fabulous, a group of 8 of us went, thanks for the recommendation otherwise I would not have gone/am taking off soon/hope to see you afterwards.
But my initial plan was not to contact him at all until December, after I'm back from my research trip. I asked the Yi which plan is best.

1) What if I email him before I go? 7.4>40. I read that line 4 means retreat. Therefore despite the fact it says no misfortune, that suggests it is a bad idea.
2) What if I don't contact him before I leave? 42.5>27 The Yi seems to like that idea. line 5: higher powers saying "good job" what's inside you is what counts. Ok then:
3) What if I contact him after I return? (is this too a bad idea?) 7.6 > 4 folly.

What confuses me here is the changing line. I understand the Yi doesnt want me to keep asking. But line 6 -- i can't seem to see how that fits here. I read on other threads about this line that, "this isn't a hexagram about fighting. It's about how to survive. The image tells us that the superior man increases his masses not by outwitting an enemy, but by his generosity toward the people." That implies generosity (contact) would be good in this case. "Small men should not be employed: they are sure to throw the states into confusion. The war has ended successflly, victory is won." But who are the small men? What does that mean? It implies I'd ask someone else to communicate for me, which isnt my plan... Is there anything here I am missing?

7.4 > 40.
Hex. 40 says "The superior man pardons mistakes and forgives misdeeds." Emailing your friend that you are "sorry he missed" the concert sounds like an attack, like he did something wrong, so you are being advised to 7.4 retreat from this idea.

42.5 > 27
I don't think not contacting him would be a 42.5 "kindness," so maybe you're being advised to email him just a quick thank-you that absolutely has no strings attached. For example: "Went to the concert. Fabulous! Thank you so much for the recommendation." That might be a lot easier to 27. "swallow."

7.6 > 4
Perhaps the I Ching is telling you not to project so far into the future.
Whether you contact him on your return depends first on how you 7. organize things now -whether you do or don't contact him before you leave. If you send him that "kind" quick thank you and he responds, then you will know what to do next. If you do send him a thank-you and he doesn't respond than he is an "inferior person" (well, not a bad guy, but not someone to in"vest" with your heart!) and you would know not to be a Fool and email him when you return.
-Rosada

Hi Rosada,
Thanks for posting... Right, my intention (despite what the Yi thought!) wasn't to attack him in any case but to thank him for the suggestion (without him I would not have known of this performance or have attended...even though he himself didnt go). And to keep lines of communication open (since he's not putting in effort..ahem). More like what you suggested for the second reading, the quick "thank-you" email with "no strings attached." That was my initial passing idea.

Whether you contact him on your return depends first on how you 7. organize things now -whether you do or don't contact him before you leave. If you send him that "kind" quick thank you and he responds, then you will know what to do next. If you do send him a thank-you and he doesn't respond than he is an "inferior person" (well, not a bad guy, but not someone to in"vest" with your heart!) and you would know not to be a Fool and email him when you return.

Click to expand...

He has never ignored me or not responded to me to date... In fact he's always prompt in his replies, and polite.. So I'm (Pretty) sure if i send smthing he'll reply. But he doesn't seem to be initiating and well there have been long discussions about that lately among me and a few close girlfriends. One of whom insists that he "let me down hard" by not going to the symphony and that "the correct thign to do now is wait until you get back to contact him."

If i do nothing at all now... that's my real question - email now (or later). "Later" is the source of the last question above... The initial plan (since he didnt go to symphony or counteroffer another meeting) was to not do anything until I'm back. But a friend yesterday suggested that's not "friendly" behavior...so iam wondering what the "right" thing to do now is. It may be overkill to send the quick
communicative/thank you now AND again when I get back. Which is a vote to stay silent for the time being... I dunno...