Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
I somehow feel this is HIM. That is my intuition: He has "traveled" away from you, but does not feel good about doing so. He is OK, but feels discontent in his heart about the way matters ended. Hence, he will likely return. Just an intuition from the reading. It could also be you, but I do not think so. I do not think it is referring to you, as you are already fully aware that you do not feel cheerful about the matter. :bows:56. The Traveler
Line 4:
The traveler has a place to stay.
He obtains some properties and an ax.
"My heart is not cheerful."
As a stranger, managing to get ones needs met, but not being really contented.
I don't know how to read time questions yet and I'm wondering if someone could help me.
I think you nailed it. He wants to live with that shimmering, eternal youth always beckoning. He calls you a "sell out" because your marriage is a terrible reminder to him, that youth does not last, people do make lasting commitments, and he has not been able to. One can almost feel sorry for him, as his meanness to you sounds as though it was born of panic. Now that I know more, I think he is genuinely ill at ease, and you became the target for obvious reasons. I think he is the more vulnerable , really, of the two of you. How old is he, if you do not mind my asking?Thank you Mirian! That makes so much sense. X and I are an example of how opposites attract. He is such wanderer in that way. He lives a very free lifestyle without committments. He definitely has a place, a group of people, he feels very comfortable with. He is a musician in a rock band and hangs out with people who are younger kind of wild crowd. Not to be judgemental of people who choose that life, but his particular group values superficiality- coolness and sexiness etc (which I never really fit into). He is very uncomfortable with getting older and is trying to cling to his youth. The people in his group love him and constantly stroke his ego, so he's comfortable there. But I feel like he's got a lot of learning to do and that in his heart he will eventually find emptiness in his situation, which seems to be what line 4 is saying.
The basis of our falling out was that we are such opposites. I really wanted a family life and ended up marrying a man who is a great husband and father. I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Although I've had my own struggles with "settling down" as a wife and mother, I wouldn't trade my family for anything. X basically told me I "sold out" and "settled" by going the conventional route. I saw a mean side to him I've never known. He told me I was weak because of my choices. I know the things he said about me aren't true, but I was hoping he might come around and apologize for being so hurtful. If he really is such a mean person, I guess I don't want him in my life anyway. Maybe I only want him there so I can remember having that kind of connection with someone. I admit, I don't have that kind of connection with my husband, but we have a great partnership in so many other ways. So maybe it's impossible to be friends with someone like X.
I also asked: How does X really feel about me? I got 22.4 changing to 30.
22.4 says something about the allure of glamour and fame not lasting. I think I represent that lesson for him and that is why he ended up verbally attacking me.
As for my lesson- well I think it's mostly about letting go of X and dealing with my very unglamourous, yet fulfilling life.
I think you nailed it. He wants to live with that shimmering, eternal youth always beckoning. He calls you a "sell out" because your marriage is a terrible reminder to him, that youth does not last, people do make lasting commitments, and he has not been able to. One can almost feel sorry for him, as his meanness to you sounds as though it was born of panic. Now that I know more, I think he is genuinely ill at ease, and you became the target for obvious reasons. I think he is the more vulnerable , really, of the two of you. How old is he, if you do not mind my asking?
Well, I am 52, and I think I worried far MORE about aging in my 30s than I do now: In one's 30s, one is still young enough to worry about the loss of youth. At 50, you cannot lose what you don't have! So I can definitely see him worrying about aging at 38 (especially if he likes the glamour-music world) and your representing aging at 41 - because, as I said, there is still relative youth in you both. Yes, in the end, I think he scapegoats you as a sell-out, because in the back of his mind, he is haunted by the fact that he has not "sold out", and is thus very insecure and vulnerable in his Peter Pan world. (altho admittedly it would be nice if we could all be eternally young).He is 38. Not terribly old, but to the group he hangs out with it is. I'm 41, so I even represent aging, as I am slightly older than him.
Well, I am 52, and I think I worried far MORE about aging in my 30s than I do now: In one's 30s, one is still young enough to worry about the loss of youth. At 50, you cannot lose what you don't have! So I can definitely see him worrying about aging at 38 (especially if he likes the glamour-music world) and your representing aging at 41 - because, as I said, there is still relative youth in you both. Yes, in the end, I think he scapegoats you as a sell-out, because in the back of his mind, he is haunted by the fact that he has not "sold out", and is thus very insecure and vulnerable in his Peter Pan world. (altho admittedly it would be nice if we could all be eternally young).
Yes, it probably is, but perhaps he has the potential to change, to feel remorse for his lashing out at you, and if you are meant to see each other again, maybe it can begin anew on a more positive note.Thank you for the validation, foxx- for your interpretation of his behavior AND calling me youthful at 41! (I know that age is just a number and I do feel youthful!). I'm feeling really angry with myself for not fighting back more when he lashed out at me. I still hope 56.4 means he will have a change of heart and apologize or at least give me a chance to stand up for myself. At the same time, maybe he really shouldn't be in my life. I feel guilty that he has been on my mind for all these years, even after I married. It's one of those strange karmic feeling relationships that feels like you are meant to bump up against each other, but you never really know why. I think it's probably a good thing that he's gone, for now anyway...
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).