Hey you guys!

My husband and I have been fighting for quite some time.
It all started when our landlady offered us to move into a different apartment in the building.
The apartment is terrible, in a condition I wouldn't want to live. She promised to fix it up, but as for me those changes she would have been doing wouldn't help the situation. My opinion it is a gut job.
So my husband wasn't agreeing with me. He didn't care about the condition of the apartment at all saying that between all the job the landlady and potentially I would do (because I refuse to live in those conditions), it will be bearable. The landlady brought a person to start a work. And I started doing work as well such as stripping layers of old paint from the window moldings, picking color for the walls, thinking about furniture arrangement. But I still felt like my husband betrayed me in my beliefs and principles of me wanting to live like a human being not a dog.
So we kept not talking.
I asked IC what if I leave him and got "Revolution" moving into "Abundance".

Then a few days later when I was at a friend's baby shower which he chose not to attend, I received a text from him saying that he just got out of the jail. I guess he was arrested for something I wouldn't want to mention here. I got very pissed and bombarded him with text messages calling him every possible rude and nasty name.

So now which is 4 days after name calling I asked IC again "Should I reconcile with ..?" and got 20.5 >23
Any thoughts? Is it saying to me that I have to leave him?

He is only half of the problem.

Hey new life!
What or who is the other half? Me? And why?

20.5 is a great answer as there is no 'should' it's completely your choice about your own life.

When you consider what you did - yelled at him for expecting you to live in a place you found unlivable and for doing something so outrageous as to get himself arrested - do you think your words and anger were inappropriate or do you feel you were "without mistake"? Only you can decide that but if after "seeing your own life" you still feel your response was justified then I think the I Ching is advising you to remain 23. Split Apart from your husband.

After all, nothing here suggests he's going to change and if your reaction to the way he is was without mistake in your eyes, then if you reconcile you're just setting yourself up to go through the whole cycle again down the road.

Rosada

If after considering your actions you conclude that you were at fault then I think you should ask the I Ching a new question like, "What is the most helpful attitude to have towards my husband?"

Rosada

Hi Trojan!
Thank you for the reply.
I started looking. For me it is hard not to mix clear objective look into letting things slide off. For example, "oh that apartment was ok for him because he doesn't know any better because he grew up in such and such."
As for " revolution" moving into "abundance" it was 49.5>55
Thank you!

"After all, nothing here suggests he's going to change and if your reaction to the way he is was without mistake in your eyes, then if you reconcile you're just setting yourself up to go through the whole cycle again down the road. "

Rosada[/QUOTE]
Thank you rosada!
Oh my you are so right!
It feels like my life with him is never ending cycle of things. It seems like ok, we have gone through this million times, why do we have to go through it again. For example, he conStanly bringing up some issue. I will talk to him about, I will explain it to him like to a child. He listens, but asks to comment on the same issue again a few days or even the next day. And I do the explanation again, and he asks again later. Sometimes I even question his sanity.

So yeah, I am looking at my life like you all guys advised. It is just hard not to let things slide and give him and myself another chance. Because quite frankly I can't imagine what I will be doing without him, he is the only family for me here. I am very much scared to stay alone.

49.5 says you already know what to do, you don't even need to consult the Oracle. You have the power to make changes. It doesn't look like you have any real reason to fear being alone. At least alone you can start to build the life you are happy with, and take responsibility for being happy. Sometimes in hanging onto someone through fear of being alone you thwart the progress you could make by yourself.
I use the word 'progress' because your main complaint against him seems to be that he expects you to accept very low standards in your living conditions. It's like you feel he will not take care of you as well as you could take care of yourself. He does sound a little irresponsible, but still you have to decide if you love him enough to perhaps take care of him ? I mean the way you describe him he sounds a little lost ? You say you have to keep explaining things to him.

Oh, Trojan!
If I knew the answer myself I wouldn't consult iching on what to do. I turned to it for guidance, but it is telling me that I know the answer. I don't.... I don't... It doesn't want to help me here..((
The only thing I can think of why ic is telling me that is because I asked the question of whether I should separate before and the answer was Keeping still. Is that what it refers to when it is saying that I know the answer.