I met a man less than 2 months ago. The attraction was instant, and I feel so many good sensations with him. But not all is perfect of course. Somewhere I'm a bit tense in the relationship because he's so much more sexual than I'm and that scares me a lot. I recently turned 38 and although my economic situation is not stable, the idea of having a baby is in my head all the time. This man seems like a good father for my child and a good life partner. We talked about having unprotected sex and go ahead with it if I get pregnant. I got these hexagrams: 52.3 changing to 23

Hi and welcome to the boards.

I don't mean to sound rude--but did you read the lines/commentary for this casting at all? You don't give any of your own thoughts on the reading.

52.3 changing to 23 is not an encouraging casting. Line 3 shows a kind of enforced quiet/stillness, an oppression, that smothers your true emotions in some way. The relating hexagram 23 (Splitting Apart/Stripping), shows that the background of this situation, or perhaps the outcome, is one of conflict, division, rupture, separation. Perhaps it shows the relationship breaking down, or--worse, in a way--you sacrificing a vital part of yourself in service to it.

Getting this casting for a relationship with someone you've only known 2 months--this alone is not a go-ahead. It's a strong warning from the oracle that, perhaps for reasons you're not yet fully aware of, there are drawbacks to being with this man.

That said, you're right that at 38 time is of the essence if you are serious about having a biological child. If I was in your situation and got this reading, though, I would wait a few more months before embarking on something so irreversible as parenthood with him. Line 3 shows he may be dominant in a way that really oppresses you in the long run. And you also must investigate him further--has he been tested for diseases, has he been truthful with you about any other children he may have out there, any unsavory things in his past (prison, abandoned responsibilities, etc.) I would do all that and then if you are still thinking maybe he is someone to do this with, ask the oracle again in a few weeks.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey towards motherhood. Please update us if you can!

Hi Soniabataller,

I would interpret this reading as there may be some kind of danger around the idea of having a baby at this time with this partner. How much danger or what that danger might be, I cannot speculate. But Yi seems to be suggesting that you might wait until you understand the situation more. Be centred in the now and at peace in who you are.

I'm not sure which translations you have looked up so far, but have you tried Lise? at http://www.yijing.nl
Here are some parts of her commentary that may or may not resonate for you.

52 - Resistance / Keeping Still
Find back the roots of your essential being.
One can only find one's base, one’s own territory, by turning away from the world. This does not mean to leave it, but as long as the world has any influence on actions, thoughts or feelings, one is not truly oneself. There will always be an inner distance.
Without this distance one will move in accord with the deepest self, every movement will be in harmony with the time. When the time asks for action, nothing will stand in its way. If it is time for stillness, no effort is needed to obtain it. Life is now, is here. Everything that goes beyond the situation of now and here is impairing.
When the self is strong and pure, contact with the world stays clean. Words will be true and essential, deeds will not exceed what is right, and one has a natural selection of what one accepts from others. True is hard as stone.

52.3 Stabilize one's limits. Arrange one's ambitions. Danger of poisoning the heart.

23 - The Wine Skin and Knife / Splitting Apart
Lay bare what is in or behind things. It is dangerous when on the outside it seems all quiet and fine, and one does not know the inside. And when things do not work the way they should, then find out if there is something rotten behind the scene.
And also: the outside of things decays some day, but if there is a strong and true inside, this will survive and find a new form. The ripe fruit of the top line is not eaten, it will rot away. If there is a noble inside - the seeds - it is an improvement or progress. If there is no good inside - the small man, no seeds - it falls apart and nothing remains.

Really hope this helps to shed some light for you. I empathise with your strong and very natural desire to have a baby.

What if I choose to have a baby with Calu? 52.3 → 23
The text is very clear
Richmond:
Keeping the loins still. Stiffening the sacrum. The heart suffocates.

Sex is not advised. Keep the loins and sacrum still, despite your heart wants it very much.

Hello everybody,
I couldnt find this post, have been wanting to update several times, but today, I found it, I was so desperate, I am.... i did pregnancy test.... and I am pregnant.... Things are not as beautiful as they used to be with this man, I still like him like crazy but he has somewhat changed his behaviour towards me, I have a hardtime sleeping when we´re on the same bed, there was something worrying me which i didnt know what it was. And I got the test today. So I went straight to the iching and asked what would happen if I went ahead with the pregnancy and got hex 33.3.4 to 20. I know this is a very delicate subject. But that hexagram has me very confused. Im scared, I would like to go ahead, but our present situation is not the best one right now.... according to what I read, I should retreat, run away....? withdrawing from what can harm me...? having the baby can harm me...? And then line 3 tells me there is danger and then hex 20 tells me to not make the offering? that is, not to have the baby...? to pause before falling into the next step of the process?
Is it telling me not to go ahead...?
Thanks in advance...

It's easy to find your own and other people's threads. You click on your name, then view profile then 'find latest started threads'.

Soniabataller said:

Hello everybody,
I couldnt find this post, have been wanting to update several times, but today, I found it, I was so desperate, I am.... i did pregnancy test.... and I am pregnant.... Things are not as beautiful as they used to be with this man, I still like him like crazy but he has somewhat changed his behaviour towards me, I have a hardtime sleeping when we´re on the same bed, there was something worrying me which i didnt know what it was. And I got the test today. So I went straight to the iching and asked what would happen if I went ahead with the pregnancy and got hex 33.3.4 to 20. I know this is a very delicate subject. But that hexagram has me very confused. Im scared, I would like to go ahead, but our present situation is not the best one right now.... according to what I read, I should retreat, run away....? withdrawing from what can harm me...? having the baby can harm me...? And then line 3 tells me there is danger and then hex 20 tells me to not make the offering? that is, not to have the baby...? to pause before falling into the next step of the process?
Is it telling me not to go ahead...?
Thanks in advance...

Click to expand...

You said you wanted a baby for a long time and now you are pregnant . Congratulations It sounds like you are panicking at your own decision, your own choice, coming to fruition. Even if it turns out he isn't the right man for you, you can still have the baby can't you ? Plenty of women do if they have a strong urge to have a baby and time is ticking on.


It isn't clear what you need to withdraw from, but then the question was unclear. It wasn't a very clear question you asked. You asked what would happen if you went ahead with the pregnancy ? Well what will happen if you go ahead with the pregnancy is you will have a baby, if all goes well. When you said 'what will happen ?' I'm not sure what you meant.

I do not think you can decide whether to abort or not by going on answers here, if that's what you were getting at ? If that is in your mind at all you'd need to seek advice from those who counsel in such matters, which would be like doing hexagram 20.

I don't think you can take this as telling you not to have the baby because it will harm you. There isn't enough to go on, you need medical facts to ascertain that. Also you did say you really wanted a baby and no situation is ever perfect for having one.

I'd think the main thing right now is not to panic. You only found out today so there's plenty of time to think things through. That what I just said sounds a bit like hexagram 20. hexagram 20 advises you have some time just to look and see the situation. Calm down and withdraw into yourself quietly for a while, that might be what the 33 is advising here.

Also you said in your first post

I recently turned 38 and although my economic situation is not stable, the idea of having a baby is in my head all the time.

Click to expand...

Well I imagine it was in your head all the time because this is something that needs to happen in your life....and it has ! It's not always so easy to get pregnant at 38 so your body got pregnant quite quickly following your wish for a child. The situation may not be perfect with your partner but perhaps your desire for a child is stronger than that.

Oh regarding the 52.3 I think this simply meant you were trying to supress your desire for a child by thinking about all the reasons why you couldn't. I don't agree the answer meant 'do not have sex'...it says the very opposite of that. It says don't split yourself in two, don't let your head smother your heart, be in touch with what you want and act on what you want. Well you have acted on what you want and you got what you want...but now you're scared. Well that is understandable but I kinda think you know what you are doing. Do you think you can trust that you made the right choice in becoming pregnant...even though things aren't ideal at the moment ?

Congratulations! My interpretation of your second reading is that you need time to think and consider all your options in respect to how you would like things to proceed. Bradford uses the word "distancing" for Hex 33. If you combine that idea with the transformed Hex 20 "perspective" or view or contemplation how does that change the way you might understand the reading? What do these ideas mean to you? Are you able to attain that state where you can calmly consider how you will proceed? What is best for you and the baby? How does your relationship factor into this? A key word that stood out for me in Bradford's interpretation was triage. Perhaps focussing only on what is needed or necessary at this time, which might include getting the right kind of support around you. I truly wish you all the very best and believe you will make the right decision here if you give yourself the space and time to understand what you truly want. I have a friend who says this to me when I have difficult decisions to make: Be gentle and kind to your beautiful self and things will always work out for the best.