Hi all,

My wife just came back yesterday after leaving us (me and a year old baby) for a month. We have not talked whether we are to come back together or will have to come to a proper closure of the marriage.

I asked the Yi "What can I do to achieve reconciliation?". I got 41 +2+3+4 resulting in 30

Can anyone help please?

modesty

I'll try to help, but first want to know what you make of it. What does it say "to you"?

hi Bruce

I can think of very opposing intepretation of this reading.

Intepretation 1:
Line 2: I should not try to force the issue but try to live a full life with/without my wife
Line 3: This is scary. A unit of three ( me, my wife and our baby) will not last. However, I we set out alone, we will find other partners?!!!
Line 4: I should try to identify my own mistake and try to fix them, the relationship will be better ow
Resulting Hex 30 reenforce the idea of being docile (according to Willhelm, cows represent the quality of being docile, willing to be lead in stead of taking the lead)

Interpretation 2:
I should decrease my expectation of this marriage, start your life again and learn from past mistatkes

This is one of those situations where two opposite view is possible and one is hard pressed to pick one or the other

Regards,

modesty

Hi modesty,

I like your interpretation. It’s not neat and tidy, as you might wish it were, but what you’ve said makes sense to me.

couple thoughts…

The docility of 30 isn’t just going along with whatever happens, necessarily, but it is remaining secure in your own environment, and in your own purpose. Fire burns brightly, not hides timidly in the background.

I wonder if this leaning toward timidity may be a fault mentioned in line 4? The third person mentioned in line 3 may not be you, her or your child. It may be someone/something which accompanies the relationship, which makes too little room for you and her to enjoy being together.

41 is a condition of reduced energy. It could be, for example, not worrying or fretting so much. Line 2 emphasizes not relinquishing yourself for the sake of another. This gives you freedom to entirely be yourself, and she can entirely be herself. This relaxation of tension and temperament between you causes rejoicing, permitting you to be at ease with one another.

Back to 30, fire burns brightly, but it's brightness is contained and controlled, and that is determined by how much fuel it is fed. If you fuel the fire with just the right amount, it will endure. Too little, it goes out. Too much, it burns itself up.

bruce_g said:

41 is a condition of reduced energy......This relaxation of tension and temperament between you causes rejoicing, permitting you to be at ease with one another.

Click to expand...

41 covers more the concept of distillation, concentration and so 'decrease' is positive. FAIL in the distillation and 'decrease' becomes negative. From an energy perspective all is conserved but in one form in what is distilled (negentropy), in another as waste (entropy).

In its really generic form, 41 covers contractive bonding (mountain, focus on quality control, discernment) in a context of expansive bonding (self-replication etc). The strong bond focus emphasises issues of sharing space with another/others.

41 shares meaning with 19 and covers the 'approach the high' aspect in that alchemical processes focus on this. - 41 is particular, conditional, whereas 19 is unconditional.

30 covers issues of guidance and direction-setting, an ideology that 'expands' its bounadary as compared to 29 that holds/contracts (and so serves to contain/control)

Thus 41 to 30 can be read as 'with/from distillation(concentration) comes direction (a purpose, an ideology).

Emotionally 41 is rooted in Lake and covers self-reflection in lower, intensity of expression in upper; the generic emotion is to sexual love (and so includes self-love, narcissism:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism_(psychology)
).

Fire covers issues of acceptance. Since 30 is fire doubled so the focus on acceptance (being in the gang) is doubled to give the notion of an ideology. Too much ideology can 'burn' ;-) .. but then it is supposed to covert all difference to sameness and so all to ash.

Chris.

Hi modesty,

"What can I do to achieve reconciliation?". I got 41 +2+3+4 resulting in 30

Hex 41.2 says that if you wish to help your wife you must remain strong in spirit, in no way become weak or servile, persevere in this course of action, then she will benefit from your inner strength.
Hex 41.3 says that when 3 people travel together one will leave. You have in actual fact being travelling with 3 people, you, your wife, and her mother. Now it seems that there is some friction between your wife and her mother, so she has left. You could say that your wife is losted, she is looking for a partner, her mate, you.
Hex 41.4 says forget your worries, cast aside your anxiety, and you will have cause to rejoice. If you have made a few mistakes in your handling of this situation, sort them out, and you will be happy once again.

Hex 30 says to keep your inner light burning, do not give up hope, your wife is giving you the will to carry on, she is feeding your spirit, therefore take care of (the cow) your wife. Continue to help her, but do it in a peaceful and loving way, do not use any type of strong force to achieve what you want, because it would destroy everything that you have worked for.

Don't forget the advice given before about taking yourselves to a councilor for help and guidance.

"I asked the Yi "What can I do to achieve reconciliation?". I got 41 +2+3+4 resulting in 30"

41's often about making some sort of very useful sacrifice - the thing which you give up which automatically puts you at a higher level. So I'd read it as: 'To achieve reconciliation, you have to sacrifice something here, something which is habitual to you but which is actually either in the way or holding you back. Do this, and the situation becomes radiant.'

Okay, you tell me - what's to be sacrificed? An attitude? A habitual emotional expression? Time?