Hi all,

I've written an e-mail to follow up on a discussion. To explain better: I had a conversation and -as usual- the topic stayed with me a for several days. So I feel I have things to add, thoughts that came to me after the conversation and that rectify (sort of) my position.

The other person said that didn't want any follow-ups, but I feel that the e-mail may actually mean relief for that person, and may also put me in a better situation. Plus, is honestly how I feel.

I casted a couple of times in regards to it. I've written the e-mail and been sitting on it for a couple of days without sending it. I can't remember the readings, but they seemed to say: "not yet".

So I waited and I rephrased: "What should I do about the e-mail?" (while doing so, "Should I wait?" crossed my mind)
I got 26, with ALL lines changing.

My interpretation is that the e-mail is potentially good, but the moment is not right yet.

Any suggestions? Do you think the same? How could I tell when the timing is right?

Thanks in advance for your help,

Flor.

One name for 26 is Great Restraint, so that would indicate that you shouldn't send the email. The fact that all the lines are changing indicates perhaps that it's a really volatile or charged situation for you.

Ask again in three days, if you still think it's an issue then.

Thanks Dobro,

I'm afraid it will continue to be an issue, because as you said it clearly, it is a very "charged" situation to me. I totally agree that 26 is telling me to restrain.

I guess what's bugging me is that I fail to see the error. I asked because when it comes to this matter, this particular relationship, I'm on my guard constantly. And because it's utmost important to me, so I don't want to mess up - at least not more that what I've messed up already. But still, I fail to see how this e-mail could be anything else than good...

But I'll keep on thinking!

flor05 said:

Thanks Dobro,

I'm afraid it will continue to be an issue, because as you said it clearly, it is a very "charged" situation to me. I totally agree that 26 is telling me to restrain.

I guess what's bugging me is that I fail to see the error. I asked because when it comes to this matter, this particular relationship, I'm on my guard constantly. And because it's utmost important to me, so I don't want to mess up - at least not more that what I've messed up already. But still, I fail to see how this e-mail could be anything else than good...

But I'll keep on thinking!

Click to expand...

hex 16 is very important in this reading, at least as important as 26 IMO since all lines change. The answer says to me you are placing a huge expectation on the impact of the email. 16 can really inflate things and in 26 theres all that unspent energy .

I don't think its much to do with timing..well if you think it is it is but is a person so radically different from one moment to the next that they will be affected by an email very differently if theres 24 hours difference time in receiving it.? (well maybe) I just see a huge amount invested (26) in the delivery but wheres it going, to what end, what are you building up, to epic proportions here ? (16)

i think i'd be inclined to delete the email and see if it still seems a good idea to you in a weeks time.

but 26 with all lines changing changes to 45, I believe. Or were all but line 5 changing?

knot said:

but 26 with all lines changing changes to 45, I believe. Or were all but line 5 changing?

Click to expand...

you are right ! i guess thats even more pressure of all your eggs in one basket

Hi guys, sorry I didn't clarify this.
ALL lines are changing, so resulting hex is 45
45.1.2.3.4.5.6 >45

Cheers!

Last lines in 26 speak about finally releasing the force... that's why I though it was a matter of timing. Or maybe not just timing but polishing the idea.

45 seems good to me. Trojan, what do you mean it reinforces the idea of "all eggs in one basket"? Can you please explain?

Thanks!

flor05 said:

Last lines in 26 speak about finally releasing the force... that's why I though it was a matter of timing. Or maybe not just timing but polishing the idea.

45 seems good to me. Trojan, what do you mean it reinforces the idea of "all eggs in one basket"? Can you please explain?

Thanks!

Click to expand...

just putting a huge amount of emphasis on it. the collection of all your resources focused into the timing of an email...? but i don't have any strong ideas about you sending or not sending it

Since 45 is about gathering with others, this reading seems to suggest sending the email, once you've worked through it all in your mind.

But let us know what you do, and how it works out!

Or perhaps: by exercising great restraint, all the forces in this situation (whether external forces like the characters in this drama, or the internal forces in the querent) come together. Sounds good. But it turns on great restraint.

flor05 said:

... I've written an e-mail to follow up on a discussion. ... The other person said that didn't want any follow-ups, but I feel that the e-mail may actually mean relief for that person, and may also put me in a better situation. Plus, is honestly how I feel...
My interpretation is that the e-mail is potentially good, but the moment is not right yet.

Click to expand...

Flor:

Little do we know about the more important things for this consult. Maybe the answer is more in your heart than in the Changes. Why do you need to give follow-up on a discussion with someone that doesn´t want it? For his own well being?

Meanwhile we get more details, if you are willing, I did always believe that the GREAT ANIMALS ARE WE, HUMAN BEINGS. And we are a type of animal not easy to understand.

Once I had this idea:

Maybe the whole hexagram is a reminiscence of a nomadic way life, as depicted by the appearance of some topics.

* 26: big cattle, no home fed
* 26.1: dangerous but profitable (way of life)
* 26.2: moving on carts
* 26.3: pursuing fine horses, wandering long distances
* 26.4: in the origin, taming young oxen
* 26.5: adding f_cking pigs after the oxen
* 26.6: carrying the way of the sky

From: http://www.onlineclarity.com/friends/showthread.php?p=97486#post97486

Click to expand...

Too much movent in the hex., even more, all the lines move.

I believe there is no prognostication, maybe nobody can tell you when the time will be. But if you remain tied to this problem you will waste your time. There is a whole life outside waiting for you.

I should advice you, send the mail now or forget it. Both ways can be for good or for bad. Or save the mail for a future use but don´t wait for a sign. If the sign happens it will talk to you. All is uncertain. The risk is yours.

If you need to ask more, do it. Let us know.

Best whishes,

Charly

Hmm...

Still working on it. I feel that the overall intention/motivation of the e-mail is right, but there's something off... I can't put my finger on. I believe what I have to say is important, but I'm afraid of it being misinterpreted.

I asked the Yi, what should I correct about the e-mail, if anything?
I got 41.1.6 >42

May be my position is too humbling? Not sure. I'll keep on thinking.

And in the meantime, thanks so much. All your comments are really helpful and though-provoking.
:bows:

Hi Charly, I posted my previous reply without reading your post.

I'm afraid that if I give more details, I might be forced to one day return and erase all my comments!

But I'll do it anyways. I'm not afraid of making an ass out of myself anymore.

My husband and I recently separated. After a very turbulent period and 4 months apart, he agreed to see me. The conversation was amicable, yet painful.

It was good because it erased all resentment towards him. Very much like the reading I got before, were 40 played an important part, there was release and forgiveness (he gave me a CD, so music was important too, Jesed!). But I still hurt enormously for not having him with me. Seeing him just reminded me (though I hadn't really forgotten) how much I love him.

Now, he admitted to being with someone else, but refused to provide any details as to what kind of relationship it is.

He said he was afraid I would keep contacting him after I "digested" the conversation. After the meeting, I felt terrible. Just overwhelmed with sorrow. No more blame on him, just plain pain.

So the day after that, I called him. We spoke for 40 minutes. I started the conversation wrong, saying how disappointed I was he had started a relationship after such a short period of time. But the conversation evolved in something else, he made some really good points, I acknowledge certain faults I had ignore the previous day (trust issues), and he finally admitted he had been very moved by our encounter, in a way he didn't expect. And -he emphasized it was a theory, very remote- if we were to ever get back together, he was afraid I would never let go of my distrust.

After that talk I did feel very relieved. Now ALL blame /guilt is gone. But still feel miserable. I'm dead jealous.

My email: basically it says that after our conversation I've realized that what is bugging me is current jealousy. That I'm not upset about his behavior in the past, and that I don't blame him at all. And that's a good thing for him because he is sort of "off the hook", but is bad for me because I have to see how I manage my jealousy on my own.

First, it is TRUE that I feel that way. Second, I thought that this idea would relieve whatever tension is left about the past. And, if in the future he would like to get closer to me, it could be easier. No resentment. But, at the same time, it emphasizes the idea that I still love him.

OK now. So I'm totally naked in the internet.
Hope this helps you help me!

flor05 said:

Hmm...

Still working on it. I feel that the overall intention/motivation of the e-mail is right, but there's something off... I can't put my finger on. I believe what I have to say is important, but I'm afraid of it being misinterpreted.

I asked the Yi, what should I correct about the e-mail, if anything?
I got 41.1.6 >42

May be my position is too humbling? Not sure. I'll keep on thinking.

Click to expand...

41: Reduce it. Sacrifice something.

42: You're increased or augmented.

So... reduce the email, and you will be augmented thereby. Might mean a much shorter email. Might mean way fewer emails. But less is more here.

Cool. Brave.

flor05 said:

My husband and I recently separated. After a very turbulent period and 4 months apart, he agreed to see me. The conversation was amicable, yet painful...

My email: basically it says that after our conversation I've realized that what is bugging me is current jealousy. That I'm not upset about his behavior in the past, and that I don't blame him at all. And that's a good thing for him because he is sort of "off the hook", but is bad for me because I have to see how I manage my jealousy on my own.

Click to expand...

Well, you're separated, so he doesn't want or need to know about your jealousy. Cuz if you tell him you're jealous it'll either come across as pain or blame or both, and he'll feel like a finger of judgement is being pointed at him overtly or between the lines. Or, if he's a prick, he might just feel inflated with satisfaction. He's not scared of losing you, or he wouldn't have separated and taken up with another woman. So what good is telling him about your vulnerability going to do? But maybe the Yi has another reason for dissuading you from sending the email which I don't see and which you don't see. Question is, which is stronger in you: the desire to follow the Yi's advice, or the desire to let him know how you feel? Do you usually act from good advice, or from emotional turmoil?

I think you're brave for posting your situation. Sharing it with others, even if they're internet phantoms, is one way of shining light on the situation, and shining light on the situation is the first step to dealing with it. Stay honest.

Thanks Dobro,

I don't think is brave, but this is by far the most trying situation I've been through in my whole life (and I had my share of difficult situations) and I'm basically trying everything. Very much a trial and error approach, an attempt to find "whatever works".

My intent was to actually correct what came off as judgmental on my last call. But asking about his possible reaction, I did get 13.3, which strikes me as what you say: "a finger of judgment is being pointed at him overtly or between the lines". Again, I wanted to show I have no resentment, that my reaction was more simple than that, in an effort of relieving him of guilt but also clearing a possible -yet remote- path back. Knowing him, he wouldn't come close if he felt this is something I can't drop. And I sense that's the feeling that was left lingering, so I wanted to send the e-mail to amend that.

It is obvious men's minds work differently, not to mention how different each individual is from another... So I guess my message could be misinterpreted. On the other subject, no point in hiding I love him, he knows this too well.

26.6 and resulting 45(first reading) and 41.6 and resulting 42(second reading) seem to point at something good coming out of it... But I just can't see it.

Dear Flor:

Don´t ask me to simpatize with him. Your jealousy is not the cause of his behavior. You can send the mail if this makes you feel better, you will have made the possible. You can express yourself quite well but you cannot avoid to be misinterpreted.

To lost a love is maybe one of the worse experiences, I know it. You have all the right to love him or to detest him, you have the right to do what better think, you will run with the risks. But please: stop suffering.

Don´t wait for him, don´t tie your life to him. Take things as they come. If he loves you, he can speak. You have nothing to explain, he has.

I´m not impartial, I know. I´m your friend.

Do you get 41.1.6?

See what says LiSe:

Initial 9 : Personal affairs, swiftly proceeding is without fault. Consider to diminish them. Do not become a slave of your duties and not of your wishes. Do what you think you should do, but give life a more important place than your affairs. You owe your creator at least that you enjoy the life he gave to you...

Above 9: Not diminishing, increasing it. Without fault. Determination auspicious. Harvest: proceeding probing. Acquiring servants, without family.
A soul in which diminishing and augmenting do not exist, has no ego. He can find his road simply by walking it. He will find servants without offering them a place to live because being close to a soul like this has more value than anything else. He needs no home, he is a home.

LiSe: http://www.yijing.nl/i_ching/hex_33-48/hex_e_41.htm

Click to expand...

All the best, be connected. If I delay answering don´t think tha I have forgotten. Only that I don´t know what to say.

Charly

Hi Flor

Just in case the comment could be useful

1.- Do you remember the previous answer 17.5? So... now you are in shock (51). When in shock (51) or danger (29) it is important to avoid being misguided by fear.

2.- Remember the way you achieved the goal to meet him again: patience, non-action. self correction. That's how you got rain. Don't lose it.

3.- 26>45. Restrain the impulse to achieve reunification. For me, a great NO to send this email.

4.- 41>42 Only when you aknowledge and accept your lost whith sincerity, you can move forward and correct yourself in order to achieve a new blossom time. The lines put one question on the table: the reason to send the mail is really in his benefit? or is in your own benefit? (I hope not to be rude here)

Best wishes

Hi Jesed,

It's good to hear from you. Don't worry, what you are asking is not rude. Like I said before, I see it both ways, possible benefit for both of us:
1) it would release him of any blame
2) is sincerely what I feel
3) it would take me from the position of a resented woman to one that takes ownership of her feelings, nice or not.

Again, still working on the idea... And all of your comments help me do so.

:bows:

I'm one of the Internet phantoms that this thread is helping Even all these years later.