48.2 - why I can´t get rid of this situation?

[theriverdance]

Hi everyone, I asked the I ching why i can´t get rid with this situation that I have with someone I am in a relationship with. We keep on ups and downs that have been very confusing and harming. I´ve been trying for months to cut this connection or change it, and he too, but we always end up getting deeply connected, which is very restoring for both of us but and then something happens that create a lot of stress, sadness and disconnection. I am not sure if I understand the message of the well (line 2 changing). I really want to solve this, but sometimes I feel this thing is bigger than myself and as much as I try to fight it (or he tries to fight it) it takes us nowhere. Can anyone help me to understand what this hexagram means in this situation?

 

[Tohpol]

Why I can´t get rid of this situation?

48.2>39

A very direct and clear answer.

48 is the Well, the place where you draw up and accumulate the waters of vital energy which nourish one's inner being and by extension, other people you are connected to. How well we can do that depends on whether the Well is functioning properly and has access to the Universal Spring.

It seems that miscommunication and therefore tension is bouncing back and forth between you and your partner because one or both of you have yet to really look in depth - far into that well - to see what is causing the leaks and draining away of this energy. Something is clearly not being seen. So, fighting to try and fix your mutual wells by force and without core awareness of what the problem is isn't going to work until you dig deep - and preferably together. Hence your question!

Line 2 describes a lack of attention regarding the use of one's energy - mental and emotional - so that there is dance for dominance in some form or another and where true exchange and thereby the source of mutual nourishment is lacking. Perhaps a lack of patience and an inability to place the focus on what is truly important in the relationship? Either way, someone is missing the point and "shooting fish" at the bottom of well and causing "leaks."

So, the back and forth dynamic as you've discovered, is very draining and it needs to be tackled once and for all otherwise, it'll reach it's inevitable conclusion. Something is preventing a strong foundation of loving support between you which is why it crumbles too easily whenever you hit an obstacle which characterises the background H.39.

I suppose the next step would be to define exactly what you need to focus on in order to discover what it is in yourself and your partner that causes these circular dynamics.

Good luck!

 

[Tim K]

I agree with topal, h48 represents something constant, available for all to use.
The village can be moved, but the fashion of its wells stays the same.

Trying to get rid of the 'well' is futile. Changing the village (partner) won't help.
Advice is to learn to use the well properly.
If you work on understanding the relationship/yourself, you will progress through lines 3,4 to 5 or even 6.

 

[Windrell]

Dear Riverdance, my opinion is simple: I believe in Destiny and I believe there is a greater Plan involving all the experiences and events in our lifetime.
So, YES, that thing IS GREATER THAN BOTH OF YOU!
Hex 39, means that this relationship is difficult, bad, with lots of misery but you have to go through it.
Hex 48,2 means that the difficult experience/relationship will keep on, you are like drilling the Well of your souls, until all water(=feelings, emotions, realizations) LEAKS OUT OF THE BUCKET(=the karmic force sticking you together). Until you experience everything it is destined to experience.
Then you will break free from each other!
You know something? We need pain more than joy in this human condition...painful truth...

 

[kafuka]

Nuclear hexagram is 38, maybe reading line 1 could help a little?

From Paul O'Brien (http://divination.com/iching/lookup/38-2/):
Trying to rectify estrangements caused by small misunderstandings can lead to situations similar to that of a man whose horse has escaped his barn. If the man dashes after the horse in a futile effort to capture it, the horse runs faster and further away. But if the man simply returns home, the matter is settled quite easily, for the horse will return to the barn once it becomes hungry or thirsty. Let small disputes solve themselves; and let the other person come back around of his own accord. Application of too much power in petty disputes can drive you further from your goal, and make reconciliation more difficult. Caution is justified against negative people who have forced themselves upon you, perhaps through some misunderstanding. In this case, to actively intervene will only cause hostility and more problems. The better course now is to just endure them until they eventually move on of their own accord.

 

[peter2610]

Have you asked the I Ching previous questions on this situation? If so would you please post some of them, along with their answers.

 

[rosada]

The Image, or key advice, for 48 says the superior man exhorts the people to work together and help one another so perhaps dissolving this unfortunate energy pattern between you may require more than just you working on yourself. You may need to discuss it and together come up with some strategies.
BTW, Does one of you tend to take "pot shots" at the other? Saying things that are meant to be innocent teasing but are actually hurtful? That's what 48.2 sounds like to me.

 

[steve]

I had this line when i was in a relationship mostly based on sex, like allot of relationships like that the sex was very good however the fighting was bad and loud, I think we cared about each other but basicaly had nothing really in common. She was the one who left and withdrawing from the sex was like a drug but I got through it. The relationship i am in now is much more healthy when i look back i can see how bad it was

Steve