50 > 49 Upsetting the cauldron?

[klann]

Three months ago, our relationship gave up fighting against his divorce misery, anger, bitterness and disappointment. I was devastated but now I see that it was for the best: the fights have been getting worse and worse between them as the final end is getting closer.
We have been in feeble contact ever since. He has been confused and confusing: changeable, moody, nice and warm then cool and detached, then again. I have been going through hell in between my strong feelings and complete awareness that it absolutely could not work out under the circumstances. And his state of mind, in the first place: along with being furious with her, vindictive and bitter he has all along (I think) been hoping she might still change her mind (even though it has been absolutely clear ever since the beginning of the divorce -2 years now – that she has never been more determined about anything else in her entire life).
He has started contacting me lately and now I’m not sure what my appropriate attitude should be.

I asked I Ching : “Which attitude should I assume so that we are back together again?” And I got 50 > 49

I’ve tried to interpret but it is very confusing. On one hand, 50 speaks of abundance. 50.1 about transformation which isn’t happening because something is blocking it (this is, as I see it, his stubbornness and obsession with hurting/getting her back)
50.2 of my transformation and development which is in some way independent of his and inability to help him

But then, I see lines 50.5 and 50.6 as very positive ones and then the whole hexagram transforms into a very violent one 49.

How can patience, simmering and caution turn into revolution and melting?

What actually is my attitude supposed to be?

Thank you very much for your help.

 

[mrmorrow]

passion can work in a negative way in love- it seems they are expressing there love in a destructive way hence 50 to 49

 

[willowfox]

“Which attitude should I assume so that we are back together again?” And I got 50 > 49

The lines say that you need to let go of the past, make a clean sweep, it is time to start afresh, with fresh ingredients, such as a need to be honest and open with him, make yourself approachable and modest, be undemanding but show love and be deteremined to make a success of this relationship.

Hex 49 says when the time is right he will see all those things that are mentioned in the above lines in your new attitude and he will be there for you. Do what the lines tell you to do and you will win.

 

[rosada]

50.
Image:
The superior man consolidates his fate by making his position correct.
-

Look at the realities of the situation. Align yourself with reality.
For example, Is his divorce final? No? Then he is still a married man. Treat him accordingly.

49.
Image:
The superior man sets the calendar in order and makes the seasons clear.
-

Note when you might reasonably expect that his divorce will be final. Consider if it's worth the wait. If it is, then just wait it out.

By realistically assessing the situation I think the I Ching is telling you you can weather the changes without becoming exhausted.

I think there's a strong element of fate here. Like the I Ching is telling you your attitude should be that if you are meant to be together you will be together and not to stress, micro manage, how it will all come about.