Concerned. I cannot seem to manage this obession. 35 to 56. I am obessed w a man. It is disrupting yet exciting. I need guidance regarding best action

[Wooding]

. I am hoping to realize tbe potential for this relationship. Also guidance as to how to manage myself. My reading was 35 to 56.

 

[Trojina]

So the change lines were....35.1.3.4.6>36


You haven't shared much so we don't know if you are in a relationship with him or if he is with someone else or if you are friends or what


Click here to see how to post to get more input


You asked 2 different questions, how to manage yourself and the potential for the relationship. If it's how to manage yourself it seems a picture of the glory of being centre stage, not knowing what to do with that and hiding (36). How you manage it depends on the story you are telling yourself about it. Is he paying you lots of attention, or is he paying attention then withdrawing which a well used manipulative tool for making people crazy --what is he doing ?


More importantly what is your story of what is happening between you ? Once you are clear what your story is then you have a measure of where you are with this.

 

[Wooding]

35 to 56. I have just met tbis person in the past three months. At first he did not say he was with someone. He finally said he is for about a year. I am kind of overwhelmed by him. I have stopped contact though other than work. We work together alone two or three days a week. I will not pursue at this point. Just trying to move through this. Age also. He is 50 and I am 62. So, there is that also. Maybe enduring friendship? At this time,it is totally wait and see with no action. Still that has not stopped my feelings or his perhaps. This obsession is distracting and overwhelming.

 

[Wooding]

So the change lines were....35.1.3.4.6>36


You haven't shared much so we don't know if you are in a relationship with him or if he is with someone else or if you are friends or what

Click here to see how to post to get more input


You asked 2 different questions, how to manage yourself and the potential for the relationship. If it's how to manage yourself it seems a picture of the glory of being centre stage, not knowing what to do with that and hiding (36). How you manage it depends on the story you are telling yourself about it. Is he paying you lots of attention, or is he paying attention then withdrawing which a well used manipulative tool for making people crazy --what is he doing ?


More importantly what is your story of what is happening between you ? Once you are clear what your story is then you have a measure of where you are with this.

So the change lines were....35.1.3.4.6>36


You haven't shared much so we don't know if you are in a relationship with him or if he is with someone else or if you are friends or what

Click here to see how to post to get more input


You asked 2 different questions, how to manage yourself and the potential for the relationship. If it's how to manage yourself it seems a picture of the glory of being centre stage, not knowing what to do with that and hiding (36). How you manage it depends on the story you are telling yourself about it. Is he paying you lots of attention, or is he paying attention then withdrawing which a well used manipulative tool for making people crazy --what is he doing ?


More importantly what is your story of what is happening between you ? Once you are clear what your story is then you have a measure of where you are with this.

The reading was 35 to 56. Yes, he is doing the attention and then backing off.

 

[Wooding]

The reading was 35 to 56. Yes, he is doing the attention and then backing off.

35 to 56.

 

[Trojina]

Some make a distinction between love and limerence, click here

oh it's 35>56 not 35>36

so the change lines are just line 3, 35.3>56 well it looks good between you but I wouldn't want to make any predictions nor do I know how to release from obsession.

 

[Wooding]

Some make a distinction between love and limerence, click here

oh it's 35>56 not 35>36

so the change lines are just line 3, 35.3>56 well it looks good between you but I wouldn't want to make any predictions nor do I know how to release from obsession.

I sure could use some wisdom here.

 

[Wooding]

I love regatdless. But I think it is probably infatuation. At my age, feeling all of this is a lot. I guess I realize time is the gift I give myself. Still what does the reading say about my 2 questions? Help!

 

[Wooding]

Some make a distinction between love and limerence, click here

oh it's 35>56 not 35>36

so the change lines are just line 3, 35.3>56 well it looks good between you but I wouldn't want to make any predictions nor do I know how to release from obsession.

Thank you.

 

[Trojina]

35.3 says 'All have confidence. Regrets vanish.' (Hilary) so there is no impediment between you according to Yi. Yet you have told us there is an impediment which is that he has been seeing someone else for a year.

The significance of that would to me all depend upon how far you'd gotten into the relationship and how serious it was before he told you.

If you had not progressed very far (note I use the the 'progressed' 35 ='Progress') then it's less of a deceit isn't it ? If he didn't know where it was going with you maybe that's why he didn't tell you ? Or do you think he deceived you badly ? You have only known him 3 months after all and you haven't told us how far you went with him.


According to this answer there just isn't a problem between you. You were progressing perhaps you can go forward again. You'll need to start speaking to him if you want to clear this up.


Or did he end it with you because of this other person ? More detail would help, is there a language barrier which is why you aren't telling us anything ?


If it is advice on how to handle yourself with the obsession well I'd say with this answer it's only an obsession because of the roadblocks you've made for your feelings. Obsessions are like stuck feelings on replay because they can't go anywhere. But maybe yours can go somewhere, you can move forward, there's no need to stay stuck. According to the answer there just is no obstacle or difficulty between you.

I guess it could mean you are both happy to stay apart but you aren't and this line is pretty much a situation where everyone is getting along fine.


So if Yi is saying everything is fine then what will you do ?

 

[Trojina]

So to continue there appear to be several ways though your obsession

Yi recommends viewing this whole relationship as considerably better than you think it is. In the light of this at the very least you could be friends or get over the issue. Or maybe if he didn't finish with you and you finished with him you could talk it over again. 3 months isn't very long and it seems more understandable if one doesn't reveal everything at that stage.


Alternatively don't fight the obsession treat it like a head cold that won't go away, an illness you have to live with for a while. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you can't help it and the more you tell yourself off for obsessing the worse it gets. Give yourself more care when you are in the grip of the obsessive thoughts, be nice to yourself as if you were ill because it is a kind of illness.


Either way 35.3 is telling you everything is okay. Does that make any sense ?

There isn't anything to fight here, not with him, not with yourself.

How can that be if he has been lying ? I don't know what do you think ?

You could also be getting obsessive thoughts because you are being urged to do something, to speak with with him and you won't. Obsessive thoughts don't always mean that but they can be your inner guidance screaming at you to go and fix this, don't let it go.

 

[Matali]

So to continue there appear to be several ways though your obsession

Yi recommends viewing this whole relationship as considerably better than you think it is. In the light of this at the very least you could be friends or get over the issue. Or maybe if he didn't finish with you and you finished with him you could talk it over again. 3 months isn't very long and it seems more understandable if one doesn't reveal everything at that stage.


Alternatively don't fight the obsession treat it like a head cold that won't go away, an illness you have to live with for a while. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you can't help it and the more you tell yourself off for obsessing the worse it gets. Give yourself more care when you are in the grip of the obsessive thoughts, be nice to yourself as if you were ill because it is a kind of illness.


Either way 35.3 is telling you everything is okay. Does that make any sense ?

There isn't anything to fight here, not with him, not with yourself.

How can that be if he has been lying ? I don't know what do you think ?

You could also be getting obsessive thoughts because you are being urged to do something, to speak with with him and you won't. Obsessive thoughts don't always mean that but they can be your inner guidance screaming at you to go and fix this, don't let it go.
[/QUOTE
Don't worry... You know the situation and have good time with him

 

[Trojina]

Matali, you have quoted me and put your words in my quote and what is puzzling is that you are answering me not Wooding. Wooding is the querent not me.

It doesn't make sense, why did you quote me and then write inside my quote ' don't worry...'


I think you maybe don't know how to reply ? If you want to reply to someone with a quote click 'reply' in their post or if you don't want to quote them just start writing in the reply box but adding your thought into my quote just doesn't make sense.

 

[Matali]

[QUOTE = "Trojina, message: 291360, membre: 1123"]
Matali, vous m'avez cité et avez mis vos mots dans ma citation et ce qui est déroutant, c'est que vous ne me répondez pas Wooding. Wooding est le querent pas moi.

Cela n'a pas de sens, pourquoi m'as-tu cité et ensuite écrit dans ma citation `` ne t'inquiète pas ... ''


Je pense que vous ne savez peut-être pas comment répondre? Si vous souhaitez répondre à quelqu'un avec un devis, cliquez sur `` répondre '' dans son message ou si vous ne souhaitez pas le citer, commencez simplement à écrire dans la zone de réponse, mais ajouter votre pensée à mon devis n'a tout simplement aucun sens.
[/CITATION
sorry i have some problem with traduction and the manuel...

 

[Olga Super Star]

I just wanted to add I had the very same cast for a dream where I was getting married to an actor I am sort of obsessed with.

Not really obsessed but like you said, there is something hooking me.

Plus I don’t believe in marriage so I would never do such a thing except perhaps if forced by migration laws.

Please do keep us updated about what happens between you.
I was happy about the answer, I am thinking about moving to where he lives so I find the cast auspicious for my moving too -after all it’s >56!