Hex 25.1 > 12 and Hex 38 about contacting someone to ask a favour for someone else

[sofia]

Hi again I have lots happening at the moment so I hope you all don't mind all the questions that keep coming!!

Earlier this week I sent a friendly but work related email to an ex friend S who is a newspaper journalist, asking if he'd be interested in doing a story about a film director friend of mine's new feature film (the same guy as my other post today). I say "ex" friend only because we stopped contact about five years ago after an ex boyfriend and I had an unfriendly break up - I lost the friendship essentially because he was good friends with my ex and had been for years and it all just got too hard, whereas I only knew S for about 18 months. We had a good rapport though and bonded through a band we were in (he had invited me into the band) and he seemed to have a soft spot for me (not in a romantic way - he was married).

I'm at odds as to whether I should follow the email request with a phone call or just leave the whole thing be........it's a bit tricky because normally as part of the publicity game journos expect you to pursue them, and I wouldn't hesitate to follow up with a call if it was someone else..........but because of our past connection and it being so long since we last spoke, there's a question mark hanging as to whether I should just leave it at that one friendly email..........yet maybe he's expecting me to do what i would normally do with my publicist hat on???

So I asked the IC earlier this week

"Is S going to respond to my email?"

I got 5 unchanging which I assumed to mean wait, he will respond?? But it could have also meant he's waiting with confidence as to whether to respond i.e. he holds the power card???

I asked the same question again tonight, only because I wanted to be sure and there's every chance he could change his mind from day to day and I wanted to tap into whether that was the case......

I got 36 unchanging which totally threw me and I couldn't see how that fit in with the question, so I asked the IC....

"Sorry this doesn't seem to make sense IC....could I please ask again is S going to respond to my email?"

I got 25.1 > 12

I also asked "Should I just wait for S to respond or should I pursue the request further by calling him?"

I got 38 unchanging

As always any help interpreting is much appreciated.....

sofia :bows:

 

[willowfox]

I think the wise advise is to follow it up as you could still be waiting this time next year.

 

[sofia]

Thanks Willowfox.

Any chance of getting some interpretation for the individual lines? I like to learn as I go along and different questions attract different interpretations for the same hex so sometimes it's hard to go by previous posts......

Anyone else wanting to throw their two bits in is welcome to respond

Based on Willowfox's answer I asked....

"Is it wise to follow up my email to S with a phone call?"
and got Hex 33 unchanging which I take to mean retreat and don't do such a thing....

I then asked "Why hasn't he responded?"
and got 47.1.3.4 > 5 which confused me because it's about the risk of becoming gloomy and thinking the worst - so is this about me or him??

So I asked this question again i.e. "Could you please expand on this IC?"
and I got 27.2.3.4 > 14 which talked about going for something hungrily?? could this mean he expects me to pursue the request more hungrily?? If so I'm wondering why the IC told me to 33......

Finally, I asked "Is he thinking of responding or has he totally withdrawn from me and the situation?"
and I got 53.1 > 37 which suggests he hasn't withdrawn at all, but rather it's the beginning of a development where caution is in order??

Again, any help is appreciated :bows:

Sofia

 

[willowfox]

"Is it wise to follow up my email to S with a phone call?" and got Hex 33

Strange answer really when he is not what one would call an enemy but a person you need to do a favour for you. Perhaps a phone is not the right type of communications devise?

 

[sofia]

Oh enemy could be right if you mean 33 refers to retreating from the enemy......

As I mentioned the break up with the ex wasn't good.....mainly because he was a user in the end and acted pretty un-integruously so I cut off all ties and it got a bit nasty. These people weren't used to being snubbed or shown up to be in the wrong and any show of emotion from me or attempt to talk to any of the girls about it, was completely slammed down - they just wanted me to forget about it all and get on with the very slow controlling friendship that I knew was never possible as long as the ex was thick in that group (which was the case). So in essence I bowed out - and perhaps not as gracefully as I would have liked

So there was a lot of mistrust going around (on both our parts) and they never really knew the truth of it. From what I gathered they suspected I might have been the nasty one. Plus they were fiercely loyal and overprotective with the ex etc. because he'd been through a past public break up (of which his pride and heart were majorly wounded) - and so I got left by the roadside having to pick up the pieces and start all over again without any of their support and love.....

I was kind of hoping enough time had passed for the truth to have intuitively become obvious to everyone (a leopard never changes its spots and I heard the ex proved that with ensuing relationships) and the fact that I had really genuinely loved them....NOT that I wish for a reunion or anything. I'm totally at peace with never seeing them again but it was weird that I felt naturally compelled this week and very comfortable in sending S that friendly work-related email?? I thought that day would never come!

There were other factors too which could make this an enemy situation (of which I was an innocent party) e.g. people I'm related to and associated, of whom they were jealous and critical due to those people's success. Artists get that way! It's such a cut throat arena. So you see it got very complicated and "enemy" isn't such a stretch....I would have to admit though I did see S as the enemy for some time too. I just don't anymore. That's all gone for me.

Any comments about the 47.1.3.4 > 5 as to why he hasn't responded? Or is that also an enemy response??

Anyone else please feel free to jump in too with thoughts - this one truly has me baffled as I know how I feel about the situation now but maybe S isn't at that point...

Then again, journos are power mongers so maybe he sees things as a power play??

thanks
Sofia

 

[willowfox]

I then asked "Why hasn't he responded?" 47.1.3.4 > 5

All 3 lines suggest some heavy type stress is on his head, they suggest that he is struggling at work, at home and with his bosses/colleagues. Hex 47 is about oppression, having the world press down on one's head.
So, you have 3 choices, you can wait, you can email or you can forget about him and move on.

If it was me in your situation, I would move on and find something much more constructive to spend my time on.

 

[sofia]

I've already chosen the latter......

thanks again

 

[sofia]

Hi fellow seekers and Willowfox in particular....

I have some feedback about this situation!!

Wow, never thought I'd be doing this because all my situations have been so slow in developing.......

The guy in question 'S' DID contact me today via email i.e. responded to my request in a very friendly manner i.e. "hey sofia good to hear from you ... im just back today from an extended jaunt os. hence the slow reply. just wading through all my emails etc now ..."

I've responded with a quick friendly one back so the communication lines are open......

This goes against the responses interpreted above (except for the 47 > 5 which talked about him being busy and stressed etc. which makes sense...)

I'm not at all doubting or criticising anyone's ability on this site :bows: I feel honoured to be part of it and to be able to receive some guidance. But it would be great to learn more how to interpret situations.......so if anyone (including you Willowfox ) is keen to go back and interpret the earlier responses 25.1 > 12 and 38 I would love to hear from you

namaste
sofia

 

[willowfox]

"Sorry this doesn't seem to make sense IC....could I please ask again is S going to respond to my email?"

I got 25.1 > 12

I also asked "Should I just wait for S to respond or should I pursue the request further by calling him?"

I got 38 unchanging


Here we try to solve this little puzzle of replies.

So, line 25.1 suggests yes he will reply but Hex 12 suggests a wait, so overall suggesting that he will reply but you may indeed have to wait a while and therefore it would miss the opening of your friends new film. There's no point doing a review after the movie has been out for ages.
So, by emailing/phoning, you would have found out that he was not only busy but some other place as well.

Now Hex 38 is about opposition in the fact that there is something preventing him from communicating with you, it could have been that he didn't want to or it could have been that he was unable to, so the solution would have been to follow up on your previous call to ascertain the hindrance.

So, in summary, if you had indeed followed up on the 7th August you would have found out where he was at without trying to guess or asking new questions. So, I stay with my first advice.


So to Hex 33 which suggests that you "retreat" from the idea of phoning him because something is wrong and your position in the matter is weak, you are at a disadvantage. But why?
Now you know the reason why, because he wasn't there. So phoning him would have been a waste of a call as you would have been unable to speak to him.
But if you had followed my advice and phoned, you would have received no answer, fine. So, if it had been me in your position, I would have phoned someone else in that office, like the secretary or whatever and asked them where S was. You would have then learnt what his status was. For instance he could have been ill, ignoring you, dead, or hundred different other things. So by phoning you would have known. Otherwise, like I said above, you could have just ended up waiting and guessing indefinitely.

In your question there is a time limit for a film review, so sometimes a little commonsense should be used in regards mundane questions such as this was.

I would have phoned.

 

[sofia]

Thanks for your reply Willowfox.......

I actually knew S had been away when I posted the question the first time My email bounced back with an "out-of-office" reply saying he'd be back at work 5 August. His response today just confirmed that he in fact was only back "today" but that's pretty much irrelevant because I knew he'd be delayed anyway with a back-log of emails etc. My original question was more about whether he was going to respond at any stage, or whether I should follow it up i.e. it was about getting advice for the right course of action.....

Regarding the film and a possible review - the film isn't screening until next Wed so I'm fully aware of the time factor and it isn't too late at all (I used to be an event publicist so I'm overly familiar with the drill). Plus the request wasn't necessarily about reviewing the film next week - it was about generating publicity in general for my director friend and his new film.........which can mean any time from here on i.e. the guy is trying to get more screenings in the future through a proper distributor (this screening is a one-off being funded by himself)

I don't see the question as mundane at all and if you feel that way perhaps you shouldn't respond and that's not intended to be a rude comment at all.....I totally appreciate your input to my questions but I wouldn't want anyone spending time on them if they felt they were mundane :bows:

The question was in context and based on past relations I had with S which involved a friendship that floundered disasterously and out of my control. A very distressing time in my life and a real turning point both in terms of loss and new starts. I think I explained that in more than enough detail the first time around the film publicity request was only a small part of that.

Had I called last week as per your advice - I wouldn't have learnt any more about S's whereabouts (and therefore why he hadn't responded) than I already knew from the bounced back email And in fact could have possibly jeopardised my chances of him ever responding due to coming across too pushy instead of just giving him time to respond (after having no contact for almost 5 years and given the past circumstances). Again, that's why I was seeking the advice.......

I don't feel any of my questions are ever mundane - they are all important to me and to my growth and to help guide me, and I always ask them in the best interest of everyone involved and NEVER for purely selfish reasons. Not to mention the postings help me learn more about the IC each time...


namaste
Sofia

 

[proserpine]

Before I read down to see that you'd know he was away,and found out he'd returned, I was going to tell you that #5,Waiting, means exactly that--Wait.
I figured he was either away, or something else was up that he hadn't been getting his mail, and answering you.
I think that, like you say now, although you did know he was away, the I Ching was still answering you to wait because he had not even received your email yet!
That #5 was your answer.*Wait*, until certain things happpen- and they need to happen in order.
You didn't even need to ask more, because you were, I thought, asking for the purpose of helping the movie get coverage.
BTW, #33 not only means Retreat it also means retreat from thinking about and focusing on someone/something.
Since he's definitely back now(I don't know how long he's back) you might make that call in a few days if that's typical protocol (sooner if that's typically appropriate, and you know he'd have read your email already)
It sounds to me like you have other questions about how he feels abnout hearing from you.
I understand those feelings too.
I just think it's separate from the question about calling re: the matter at hand.
Also, if you really do hope he will do the story on the film, there's no reason not to have asked him.
He's a journalist, and you asked him about doing a story..
The worst is he will say no. But why not assume it is still perfectly fine that you asked him as a journalist to do a story, and he will answer according to his availability.
Make sense?

 

[sofia]

Thanks Prosperine. Yes the 5 and the 33 did make sense to begin with but Willowfox gave a different interpretation and focused on the other hexes (and was in fact a little perplexed at 33). So it got confusing in the end

Please remove the film publicity request from the equation I really only gave that info as part of the story. The real point of asking whether he'd respond and whether I should take any further action, was because of our past history.....so it wasn't just a straight forward situation about asking a journalist to do a story THAT I do know i.e. that a journalist will either respond or not BUT there was a loading to this situation based on our past experience and THAT is what the questions were all riding on....I probably should have been much clearer about that from the start but I did give a really long background to the story for that reason

...even my concern about being pushy had NOTHING to do with the publicist/journalist relationship (that's totally expected from a publicist) it was about not having spoken to S in 5 years PLUS I only had my publicist hat on as a friend of the film director and not in a professional capacity (and i also worked on the film) so the rules are very different and that's what I was wanting to receive guidance on....

thanks again for your input :bows:

 

[willowfox]

His reply mentioned the 5th of August that he would be back but your question was posed on the 7th of August, and you lead us to believe that it was of quite some importance to get a reply from him soon.
Your reason seemed to focus on a film review and nothing else, so that is why I said mundane, or ordinary, or of no life or death importance. And I have been known to spend hours on the most mundane things that you can imagine. I have tried to explain your reading again as requested but you have now changed the goal posts, to say the film was not the reason and the time period has been extended to include a year or two.

But having said that, he was supposed to be in the office on the 5th but he didn't phone, so you posted your questions on the 7th because you had no reply. My advice was to phone to find out what was happening. Today happens to be the 12th of August. So that's 7 days since the 5th.

Again going by your first two answers, you should have phoned. The 3rd answer told you to retreat because the IC knew that he wasn't there even though he was supposed to be.

 

[willowfox]

Before I read down to see that you'd know he was away,and found out he'd returned, I was going to tell you that #5,Waiting, means exactly that--Wait.

Perhaps if you had bothered to answer her first set of questions instead of ignoring them and jumping ahead then you might have seen a different set of circumstances in her very first answers.
Because if she had phoned the office on the 7th they would have told her that he wasn't going to be back until the 12th.

Also, 25.1 says that he was going to phone but Hex 12 suggested some kind of wait.

Therefore I feel that it is always wise to look at the first questions the querent asks instead of trying to leapfrog ahead on to something that now fits the bill in hindsight.

 

[sofia]

Okay - thanks for the wrap up

It's all done and dusted now and I'm just happy the communication lines between S and I have been opened up and it's lovely and friendly