Illicit relationship… or not?! 50,51 and 54

[veavea]

Hello - I always get a bit irritated by the number of relationship queries on here but now here I am adding one of my own. I am not in a relationship but feelings have obviously developed between myself and another person in my work situation. Such a relationship would be absolutely scandalous for reasons I can’t fully divulge but, believe me, it would not ‘be ok’. Still, it’s clear there are feelings on both sides. But nothing has happened. Nor would it happen until one or other of us is in a different situation (a year or more into the future). Note we have not even discussed anything. It is just a very obvious connection at this stage as we both know it cannot be discussed.

I’ve asked Yi plenty of questions about this situation. Such as ‘is this just a passing fancy’ (55.4>36); ‘can this ever come to something’ (50.1.2.3.6>51); and ‘do we really have a connection’ (54.1>40).

I realise this seems like a silly infatuation - it probably is - but these feelings are so shocking and unexpected that it’s caught me off balance.

Any thoughts on these readings?

Thanks!

 

[rosada]

55.4 -36 seems to be describing the fact that your feelings must be kept hidden. I wonder what that would mean as an answer to your question. Perhaps that the friendship can last as long as you are discreet? Those 51’s in your next answers also make me think if word got out it would be upsetting.

 

[veavea]

Thanks - I suppose maybe in relation to my question it probably isn’t a ‘passing fancy’ but either it must be kept hidden or the purpose/authenticity of it is not yet clear? If word got out it would be terrible, at least in the short to medium term.

 

[Blwu Star]

Hello - I always get a bit irritated by the number of relationship queries on here but now here I am adding one of my own. I am not in a relationship but feelings have obviously developed between myself and another person in my work situation. Such a relationship would be absolutely scandalous for reasons I can’t fully divulge but, believe me, it would not ‘be ok’. Still, it’s clear there are feelings on both sides. But nothing has happened. Nor would it happen until one or other of us is in a different situation (a year or more into the future). Note we have not even discussed anything. It is just a very obvious connection at this stage as we both know it cannot be discussed.

I’ve asked Yi plenty of questions about this situation. Such as ‘is this just a passing fancy’ (55.4>36); ‘can this ever come to something’ (50.1.2.3.6>51); and ‘do we really have a connection’ (54.1>40).

I realise this seems like a silly infatuation - it probably is - but these feelings are so shocking and unexpected that it’s caught me off balance.

Any thoughts on these readings?

Thanks!

51 is pointing to something that WILL shock you, them or the watching world (once revealed). The way you wrote it, seems obvious you want it to be more but also know that it would be not be seen as good in any scenario, especially if there are other people tied to both people who are contemplacing crossing taboo lines. Put your time is things are have good outcomes, not just short term fantasies made real for a moment. Kind of like seeing a good treat to eat but knowing that it will not digest well for real. Usually working wrong romances can lead to losing jobs. Such affairs people around them see the obvious really quick. It is illusion to think you can keep secrets secret around people who know you even some.

 

[veavea]

Deleted previous response as felt it was too exposing, but the bit I’ll preserve is that the feeling I have - in terms of the cauldron (ting) of 50 - is more the jade handles than the food inside. Or maybe it’s both. Maybe I sacrifice what’s inside for the handles?!!

 

[Trojina]

Nor would it happen until one or other of us is in a different situation (a year or more into the future). Note we have not even discussed anything. It is just a very obvious connection at this stage as we both know it cannot be discussed.

Obvious ? You know best of course I'm just saying many many times this wordless obvious thing happens in the workplace and someone always comes off worse. Generally the female as she's taking his flirting seriously or not seeing it as such. If nothing has been said at all then it isn't there yet really, the person hasn't offered anything. While nothing has been said one can be left to be led to believe anything, hence if you want to give more of yourself to this actual speaking about it needs to happen or you may stand to be made to feel foolish. You can't call him on it if he never said anything. It's a mean game often because one person really believes something is happening and the other is playing.

Obviously I speak generally having no knowledge of your specific situation but I'd say until something is spoken it's best not to believe it's obvious.

I’ve asked Yi plenty of questions about this situation. Such as ‘is this just a passing fancy’ (55.4>36); ‘can this ever come to something’ (50.1.2.3.6>51); and ‘do we really have a connection’ (54.1>40).

The question for me is whether these answers are about what this does to you. That's the main concern IMO. If you are made to feel foolish, if you get upset, it's going to impact your working life and your entire life, emotions, work everything. So are you going to be destabilised completely for no good reason other than a man likes to play at work OR is he not playing and it's all worth something ? I don't know and I don't think it's possible to say with these casts. The 50.1.2.3.6>51 gives the impression of the cauldron upended, remade all somewhat cataclysmic. But is this an inner event, cataclysmic for you or both of you?

My view is until an actual move is made or words have been spoken then this isn't obvious at all. In fact you stand to lose a great deal if you are falling in love and then one day he switches away from you or says 'I never led you to believe anything I never said anything' etc etc.

I think the questions you've asked really need to come more from your own base of knowing about this if that makes sense....It's not a thing 'out there' not yet and you won't know what it is till it is spoken of...I mean until it is spoken of nothing will happen.

It feels like you are asking 'what is that/what's happening' when the answer is with you. What is happening for you with this ? Nothing by the sound of it, not yet. Do think longer term won't you. You don't want to ruin your work life for the sake of someone who is playing with you.

I don't know if he is playing with you obviously but it would be a bad idea to pour more energy and thought into this without actual confirmation from him. If you are going by how he looks at you what he says and so on it's not enough, it really isn't and if neither of you are expressing desire to get together outwardly then I doubt this is worth the upheaval.

It is just a very obvious connection at this stage as we both know it cannot be discussed.

If it hasn't been discussed how can you know he thinks it's an obvious connection. This statement is worrying.

 

[veavea]

yes I take your point, and I understand. I just wanted a take on the hexagrams really. I can’t talk to anyone about this in the real world and can’t really talk about it online either so I’m sorry for being so vague. Don’t worry about it/me - it’ll be ok

 

[Liselle]

Maybe you could think of 50 changing to 51 as "transformation through shock"?

Also maybe give some thought to the level Yi might be answering on, which may or may not be about the two of you being a couple in real life. 50.6 can mean a higher level altogether, and transformation could be a lot of things. Yi gave you 55.4 about this, the hidden lord. Note "hidden." (Note it several times.) I think I'd take from that no, not a passing fancy (you're not making this up), but I'd guess probably not anything in real life, either.

In your questions have you asked anything like how to respond to this upheaval, just in general? The questions you posted aren't like that, but it sounds like you asked more than those three.

 

[veavea]

thanks Liselle, yes your take makes sense. I also have a ‘not in this lifetime feeling’ or maybe the friendship/relationship will take on a different or more spiritual aspect in time. (And no he’s not playing with me, it’s not anything like that!) I’ve asked other questions including should I just leave the situation altogether, how can I ensure I do no harm (to him or to myself) and generally, why am I having these feelings, if they’re stupid feelings why don’t they go away and if they’re not stupid then what do I do with them?! But I just asked the question you posed - how do I respond - 41.2>27.

 

[Liselle]

Well...41 says make a sacrifice, but it's a manageable one - that seems nice to know. The line says don't try to fix anything. I imagine that could include straightening it out with him, or trying to figure it out yourself too much. There's harvest in constancy... Hilary explains constancy in WikiWing as "Stay on track, stay steady."

Don't do much of anything, it sounds like to me, I guess.

 

[veavea]

Thank you - I feel a lot more centred having refocused the question and received that line. It is actually important that I stay steady because the other person in this situation relies on me and in fact it’s my job to help them. I feel more solid now. I have ti be responsible. I knew that, but my feelings had rocked me off balance. Really appreciate the input here, more than you know! Thanks again

 

[my_key]

Hi veavea

Walking in the land of Forbidden Love leads to many confusions, dead ends and uncertainty. It is no wonder that you are finding yourself knocked off balance and looking for some assurances. You've already received some good input and i'd like to add my interpretations

I’ve asked Yi plenty of questions about this situation. Such as ‘is this just a passing fancy’ (55.4>36);

'Abundance' through 'Brilliance Injured'
In this situation you are being directed to stay small, calm and collected. Keeping your powder dry will allow you to make a clear assessment. Weighing both sides equally and taking things in moderation you will become better place to decide level of greatness you can assign to this relationship.

‘can this ever come to something’ (50.1.2.3.6>51);

'Establishing the New' through ' Taking Action'
It seems like the relationship can come to something but for the superior person it would need a 'rectification of your position' to bring about whatever this something is.

and ‘do we really have a connection’ (54.1>40).

'Marrying Maiden' through 'Relief'
It is worth exploring what the nature of that connection might be. If a silly infatuation or a true romance, what is the connection based in? Your 'not in this life time feeling' may have credence.

54 speaks of things outside of your control and advocates that you avoid anything that would hurt the harmony. 40 wraps the connection in clouds of unknowing that advocate a pardoning of mistakes and compassion towards misdeeds.

how do I respond - 41.2>27.

'Decreasing' through 'Nourishing'

First and foremost you respond in ways that are nourishing for you. Guard carefully your inner being and what you allow to hold sway in your life with respect to this relationship. Acting in this way you will be best positioned to guard against any negative external influences that may be acting upon you.

41 also carries a theme of letting go of things and carries ideas of diminishing your involvement or reducing your desires. It calls for you to see the significant patterns that are playing out through this time. Through recognising these patterns you will promote more positive experiences into your life.

... or there might be other interpretations that you can make of your consultations.

Good Luck.

 

[veavea]

Wonderful response, very helpful! Thank you