My trouble with women

[unsubscribed_cm]

Why do I have so much trouble with women while others not?
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52

I take this as they have little interest in me.
Something about me turns them off.
Maybe the scars on my face.


So I asked:

Why don't women like me?

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57

(bad air? lol)

Please comment on giving up?

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45 -> 25



I have no idea what these mean, can some interpret?
Don't bother being 57 (gentle) I can take it.
Don't give empty encouragement.
It's pretty clear what I am.

I like who I am
too bad that
feeling is
singular.

 

[martin]

52 is youngest son doubled, 57 is oldest sister doubled.
This might be way off, but are you attracted to older women? If so your problem is that they think you are too young for them!
Maybe try to grow a beard + moustache?!

 

[maremaria]

Fwiw, my first impression is : Be (52), Be (57) Get together and Be yourself (45>25)

 

[unsubscribed_cm]

Fwiw, my first impression is : Be (52), Be (57) Get together and Be yourself (45>25)

But I did not as of for advice. I asked why. 52 is always a clear sign of noninterest in relationships or lack of affection.

57

I have no clue weirest hexagram in the book.
I mean gentle penetration? LOL why not just call it rough yeilding?

 

[Trojina]

OMG how many threads on this Cyclo ? You did not ask for advice ?? Well be glad someones still answering lol.

Look do you have women friends - not 'girlfriends' but friends who are women ? Cos somehow I get the sense your problem might be in viewing women as a species apart from the human race - you know not quite human rather than half the people populating the planet. If you have women friends why not ask them about how you are with women. If you don't have women friends then theres your answer.

Anyhow if others still have the patience to analyse your answers good luck to them but this query of yours has really already been very extensively well covered hasn't it -

 

[unsubscribed_cm]

oh ok.

No I have no female friends.

 

[Trojina]

oh ok.

No I have no female friends.

Ah I see ! The great thing about you Cyclo is your honesty - hmmm well its like perhaps you've come to see women as these weird things, alien, different to you - maybe thats the 52 you are not relating to them as people - its like they are not there ..you make them feel like they aren't there as living people....perhaps.

Being on the receiving end of that attitude is really palpable and unnerving ..it feels like the man is with you but doesn't see you, can't know you, it feels uncomfortable.

Maybe you just need to get comfortable being around girls and i think that might mean improving your whole social life rather than looking at this problem in isolation. I said this before i think that maybe you could focus on building friendships with men and women - get comfortable just being with women so you could be friends with them...I reckon you'd be halfway there then and thinking of it that would be a 57ish approach - gently penetrating on all levels (not just the physical which i think is your focus )


Meanwhile practise on her ...

so she says "hi cyclo "
you say "......?

 

[openheartsf]

Just get out there Cyclo. I know some very socially challenged men who started taking dance classes to get comfortable around women. You would NOT believe the transformation. Trojan is right you need to cultivate a community of friends male and female. Do you enjoy dance or music?

Take the advice given already and just develop a life that you love. What do you like to do that could get you away from the computer and around people?

 

[rodaki]

LOL!!!

Don't take this the wrong way CM (CyclotronMajesty), but things are simpler than what they seem some times . . So this is but a very rough reading but . .

hex 52:
"True quiet means keeping still when the time has come to keep still, and going forward when the time has come to go forward. In this way rest and movement are in agreement with the demands of the time, and thus there is light in life."

Feel the way of your 'moves' towards ladies

line 2:
"The same is true of a man who serves a master stronger than himself. He is swept along, and even though he may himself halt on the path of wrongdoing, he can no longer check the other in his powerful movement. Where the master presses forward, the servant, no matter how good his intentions, cannot save him."

You act compulsively and thus seem awkward?

line 5:
"A man in a dangerous situation, especially when he is not adequate to it, is inclined to be very free with talk and presumptuous jokes. but injudicious speech easily leads to situations that subsequently give much cause for regret. However, if a man is reserved in speech, his words take ever more definite form, and every occasion for regret vanishes."

Your flirting 'lines' are way off mark? (awkwardness again)

hex 57:
"THE GENTLE. Success through what is small."

You need to work on your ways of approaching the 'female species'. Details in approaching are very important, jerky movements will make a girl run away. Gentleness is powerful if you know how to direct it. Maybe it's just a matter of refining your courting techniques? Flirting often has its own 'penetrating' ways

I find 57 ("Gentle Penetration") soooo sexually loaded
Just a (female) friendly advice

rodaki

 

[rodaki]

Oups!! I did say that itr was a rough reading huh? I thought you had 52 to 57 . .
count me wrong (still the advice stands)

rodaki
(I'm just a mistake so bound to make humans)

 

[diamanda]

52: try to be calm
57: try to take it easy

Sounds to me like the sage is sweetly trying to tell you to calm down. I do not think
the issue is that girls don't like you. If it was, the sage would be telling you what is
wrong with you. There isn't anything wrong with you, and the I Ching has been
telling you so from your first reading on all this. It's not that girls don't like you.
It's that you need to see the whole thing in a calmer manner.

Rodaki i really liked your comments on 57!

Please comment on giving up - 45>25
You can't give up, let's face it. I'd understand it if you were 70 (and yet there are
some people who don't give up even then!) but not at such a very young age.

45 - go out there and mingle
45:1 - confusion, disappointments, effort (= life...)
45:6 - you are lamenting and feel sad and want so much to unite....
... but at the end of the day... 25.
25 - you'll meet the one for you when you least expect it.

"you'll meet the one for you when you least expect it" - well, join the club CM
because this has happened to just about 99.99% of the earth's population....
Ok i may be exaggerating a bit here, but i bet it's close to the truth.

 

[diamanda]

PS - i strongly agree with other posters' great advice to have some female friends!

 

[Tohpol]

OMG how many threads on this Cyclo ? You did not ask for advice ?? Well be glad someones still answering lol.

Look do you have women friends - not 'girlfriends' but friends who are women ? Cos somehow I get the sense your problem might be in viewing women as a species apart from the human race - you know not quite human rather than half the people populating the planet. If you have women friends why not ask them about how you are with women. If you don't have women friends then theres your answer.

Anyhow if others still have the patience to analyse your answers good luck to them but this query of yours has really already been very extensively well covered hasn't it -

Good God Cyclo!.

Agree with Trojan - it's more than a little cheeky... but that's offset with your complete honesty. Hard to get pissed off at that.

More good advice there. But do try and apply some it Cyclo before coming back on this. You need some time before addressing this subject again i.e. six months.

As to female friends - they'll come naturally to you when they don't feel "threatened" i.e. the vampiric archetype is not active within you. In other words, when you've made some progress in establishing your OWN source of energy. It doesn't mean you need to run screaming from any females but concentrate on jsut feeling comfortable around girls without any objective other than a verbal exchange - even if it's just a few passing words. You are trying to build a new you here THAT TAKES TIME.

52 - 57 seems to underline this calm yourself, be natural, unhurried and a clear and objective overview of the situation.

Topal




Topal

 

[hollis]

lookit that Cyclo, everyone here loves ya, even some of the wimmin.

 

[unsubscribed_cm]

=D

 

[Samgirl]

Ok, this is my 2 cents:

Why do I have so much trouble with women while others not?

52

I take this as they have little interest in me.
Something about me turns them off.
Maybe the scars on my face.

In spite I agree with calming the thoughts of the heart is the healthier thing to do, I got the feeling that 52 might be talking about the reason you don't see success with ladies... perhaps you are like a mountain when you are with them? The oracle says... "keeping the back so still he does not feel the body, walking in the courtyard, he does not see the people". I see a great situation for meditating, however does not invite a lot of social exchange.

So I asked:

Why don't women like me?

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57

(bad air? lol)

I think the Yi is talking about how to deal with women. And well.. gentleness works.

Please comment on giving up?

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45 -> 25



I have no idea what these mean, can some interpret?
Don't bother being 57 (gentle) I can take it.
Don't give empty encouragement.
It's pretty clear what I am.

I like who I am
too bad that
feeling is
singular.

LOL. I am taking what Richmond says from these lines: 1) he needs faith in a comig birth, he need not fear, has not reason to falter, preparation has already been made. And 6), growth is going on within him but he cannot accept it and feels needlessly sad.

 

[bamboo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odo9mTDgVJE

 

[willowfox]

Why do I have so much trouble with women?

52 there are a few possibilities, you may have been hurt in the past by some girl and the incident is still uppermost in your mind, this would make you very nervous and clumsy when trying to strike up a conversation with some woman that appeals to you. Your agitated state of mind and your general clumsiness in conversation would be quickly picked up by any woman who would automatically think you were some kind of bozo and therefore avoid you. Do you look like an agitated nerd perhaps who is always saying the wrong thing? So Hex 52 is saying relax, quieten your agitated mind and just stop worrying.

Why don't women like me?

57 Too nervous and a complete mess when trying to chat them up, so Hex 57 is saying calm down and get your brain in order.

 

[crystalline]

Cyclo,

I really worry about you. I think you have received great advice here and everywhere else but the problem is that implementing this advice is not easy. Not easy at all.

I think that what somebody said (Trojan, I think) about you treating women like they are a different species is probably the key to your problem. I think 52 in this case means that you are too stiff, not natural, not at ease. And we all know you are desperate, so imagine what kind of vibes you are projecting out there! So you have to relax, of course, which is so much easier said than done...

You have to recognize that the problem is not in how women see you but in how you see women. You think that they are there just for womanly things (ahem) but you need to see them as your peers, people you can talk with, have fun with and be yourself with. Not all women are partner material but they are all as much 'buddy' material as any man. So, I would suggest that you start making an effort to get into this frame of mind and try to be friends with women without having any hopes or any romance intentions or illusions. This will prover harder than it seems, I'm sure, as you are obsessed. You are obsessed because you never had a girlfriend and you are obsessed thinking that girlfriends things blush are overdue to you. I know how this is. I've seen many teenage boys that feel this way .

Well, nobody really owes you anything and, if anything, you have a huge debt towards women in general, for all the years in which you have treated them like objects (or wished you did). I wonder, do you have any sisters or female cousins? If you do, you could maybe learn to hang out with women by being around them a bit more and really taking some interest in what they have to say and what they think and what they like, etc.

45 -> 25 ? Gather together with women friends in the most natural, innocent way that you are capable of. And then improve that and then improve it a bit more and you will one day be out in the clear.

Good luck!

 

[unsubscribed_cm]

 

[asci_blue]

I used to view women as nothing but erm...'womanly things' but after my last couple years being single, partly by choice and partly by my poor choices in women I've found something fascinating. There are some women out there that are like men..only they fill their clothing FAR more attractively but they talk about cool stuff like paint, cars, and carbon fiber.

Sticking with crystaline's suggestion, treat them as equals. It's okay for a woman to take you out (one of my favorite things to say to lighten the mood). If you're serious as to why women don't like you, there's a good chance you're boring. Plain and simple. Easy fix is to learn something unique and cool. Learn to paint, write, ride a motorcycle, ride a horse, learn to dance. Develop a skill or trait that is hard to forget.

Last thing. I learned this from my former supervisor: Women aren't nearly as egotistical as we (men) like to think they are. I've gotten many a phone number just by walking up and saying 'hey, give me your number. you owe me one for X' this situation worked cause I was in fact owed one for covering shifts and the like. Use this conservatively per individual.