Roommate Drama - PART 2

[openheartsf]

Hi friends, my roommate drama continues. First she said she did not get a security deposit from me, which she did. Then she asked me to provide her with a copy of the canceled check, which I did.

Today she writes a note “This is Wrong! We need to talk TONIGHT!”

I don’t understand. I think she is unstable and I’m kind of afraid of confronting her.
I’m not sure how it’s unclear to her that I paid $400 in addition to the original rental agreement of $500. Eventually she raised the rent to $600 and then to $700 which I am now paying.

The check I gave her back in Jan of 2007 was for $900. Aren’t I entitled to the remaining $400 even if the rent went up?

I’m very confused and I just want to be prepared for when I have to discuss this with her.
Nothing has been in writing. She has been accepting and cashing my checks and everything has been a verbal agreement.

It’s my understanding that without a contract she really cannot hold me to paying anything else. I don’t even care about getting back the $400 but she’s also asking me to pay on top of that for utilities she says I owe.

I asked the yi “what should I do about the deposit conflict”

The reading I received was Hex 60.2 to hex 3

Hex 60 is about self-imposed limitation and restraintt. I’m trying to figure out what the restraint should be.

I also read this about 60:

“Severe and difficult restrictions should not be allowed to continue because they produce exhaustion.”

Yes, I'm exhausted! I can stand firm and tell her I’m not giving her any more money, but will that cause even more problems for me for the next 2 ½ weeks? I’m not sure I understand the advice in Line 2. either.

Change in the second place means:
Not going out of the gate and the courtyard
Brings misfortune.

I’m thinking it just means to NOT diverge from my understanding of what that money was for…and to NOT back down to her bullying and possible threats. Or should I offer to pay an additional $200 since my rent is now $700. That just doesn't seem right to me.

Any advice?

 

[Trojina]

Could be very literal as in don't stay there any longer - move out somewhere now if you can - if you don't leave your 'courtyard' its not good.

If its her house/flat I think even if you are in the right (and I'm pretty hazy about the money aspect of it) it might not be worth having a really unpleasant 2 weeks for the sake of the money. Might it be possible to move in with your friend, i think you said in another thread its an old friend you are going to. If its not her (current room mates) property I can't see why shes throwing her weight about this much....but still your last reading said 52.3 didn't it...this 60.2 also says staying put is not much good. If you want to fight for your rights it will be easier from outside the property i think - its pretty intolerable having that kind of conflict and living together, very stressy !

I think these kinds of conflicts are quite common here, had something similar (to a lesser degree) myself. In my case i thought it a little unfair but not unfair enough for me to go through alot of aggro about it..also seeing it from my landladys POV I could see she would lose money in the gap between me leaving and her finding someone else as I hadn't given much notice, and she'd treated me ok while i was there so i let it go by.

I'm not saying you should do this by the way - just saying this kind of thing isn't that unusual in my experience.

(Just reread your post, am very bad at figuring out money stuff - hmm anyhow I do think you are entitled to your $400 back yes or at least a good part of it. In my case I only received two thirds of the security deposit, or something like that, as i only gave three weeks notice when she had wanted a month and thats how we chose to work it out between us. )

 

[rodaki]

oh dear!!

let me say, I just got out from sharing housing and soon will have to go back there and can totally understand the stress you are under . .hope it works out the best way!!

I recently got the same answer (twice!) on very different context so have done some reading in that, even though I'm still having a hard time getting its meaning loud and clear
Just to add to what Trojan already said: Measures and boundaries are useful as long as they don t get strenuous. Articulate your amounts but be willing to abandon some of your rights (leave what you own). Setting this off will be hard at first but you make it happen . .

Have to say though that my take on that is heavily tinged with what I would advice someone even without the oracle's answer, so you see, it's only subjective . . Perhaps leaving the place, if you have somewhere else to go would be the best for you . .

again all the luck!

rodaki

 

[openheartsf]

Thanks, the only fear I have is that she will try to get me for even more money than the $400. I don't see anything in the yi readings about things getting "legal", so I'm trying not to put any energy that fear.

I am willing to sacrifice the $400, but I'm NOT okay with her trying to get more money from me.

 

[bamboo]

Or should I offer to pay an additional $200 since my rent is now $700. That just doesn't seem right to me.

Any advice?

No, no, no, you DO NOT need to pay an additional 200 NOW for additional security. That would be foolish. UNLESS, you did not pay the rent for this Last month you are living there..?? Some people give notice and then for last month "live out" the security. In which case, you would owe 200 dollars more for the current rent.

BUT If you paid for this last month that you are living there, then the security money is owed to you. Usually security money is for damages you may have made to the living space. I dont know if you owe her any money for utilities, but if you do, then the original 400 security can go towrds that debt, but I would Never give her any additional money at this point for "security." What would be the point?

If you are paid up in full for the current month, and your portion of utilities was paid for the month, then the 400 dollars should be returned to you. She may give you a hard time about giving it back, and you may have to let it go...400 dollars is more than half of the next month's rent and that gives her plenty of cushion until she finds someone else. and it more than makes up for not telling her at the very beginning of the month that you wre leaving

But I would not back down if you know you have paid up. Have it all in black and white on paper. I think this is what 60.2 says: if you start to falter now, you lose.