So I’ve been seeing this guy 17.13

[Liberate]

heya, there’s this dude I was dating and he upset me. pretty sure he knows I am pissed. I wanted to know if he still liked me and what he thought about me after I put him on time-out. I received 17.13 changing to 31. what does this mean?

 

[Trojina]

You can read the lines as well as we can so what do you think they say ?

Click link in my signature on how to get the most from posting here.

There's tons of stuff here on 17 so read around and tell us something of your interpretation. There's just no point plonking your question here if you make no effort and wait for someone to do all the work for you.


There's this that might help in choosing how to approach relationship readings
https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...42-Blog-post-Advice-for-relationship-readings

 

[rosada]

How he thinks about you and the relationship now..

17.1 It 's a brand new day.
17.3 Let go of the past.
31. Open up to the future.

I can see why you might have had trouble with interpreting these lines as they seem to be saying something you probably would rather not know.

 

[Liberate]

You can read the lines as well as we can so what do you think they say ?Click link in my signature on how to get the most from posting here.There's tons of stuff here on 17 so read around and tell us something of your interpretation. There's just no point plonking your question here if you make no effort and wait for someone to do all the work for you.There's this that might help in choosing how to approach relationship readingshttps://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...42-Blog-post-Advice-for-relationship-readings

I don’t understand how to interpret the lines in this situation. Line 1 says perseverance brings good fortune, to go out the door produces deeds. I take that as he still means to persevere in this relationship. Line 3 mentions through following, one finds what one seeks, and it furthers one to remain persevering. If he follows through and pursues me, he finds what he is looking for. In any case, I threw another casting because this one was so confusing. I asked if he was going to pursue me after the lack of contact on my end, and got 31, no changing lines. I think that’s a yes.

 

[Liberate]

How he thinks about you and the relationship now..17.1 It 's a brand new day.17.3 Let go of the past.31. Open up to the future.I can see why you might have had trouble with interpreting these lines as they seem to be saying something you probably would rather not know.

I did have trouble because I don’t like to put my own bias on things. Your spin on the lines is completely different from mine, which is why I needed others here to clarify.

 

[Trojina]

Your own bias is something useful not something to be afraid of. I mean I know we can see what we want to at times but on the other hand even people new to the I Ching can get quite a clear intuitive sense of their answer that an outsider may not.

Line 1 says perseverance brings good fortune, to go out the door produces deeds. I take that as he still means to persevere in this relationship. Line 3 mentions through following, one finds what one seeks, and it furthers one to remain persevering. If he follows through and pursues me, he finds what he is looking for. In any case, I threw another casting because this one was so confusing. I asked if he was going to pursue me after the lack of contact on my end, and got 31, no changing lines. I think that’s a yes.

Thanks for having a go at it. Your interpretation could be correct.


It is difficult when asking what others are going to do since often the advice comes back as to what you need to do because after all that's the real question, you need to know what to do about this. Hang on and hope or let it go ?


If the answer is directly about him then 17.1 would show rather than returning to previous relationships he's on the look for something new. 17.3 shows him choosing to be mature here whatever that means in the situation.

It's sometimes risky giving someone you still like timeout without letting them know the reason, well risky if you want them back, because of course they may not come back and then your 'game plan' can backfire.


If I had asked this question I wouldn't know how to take this answer, whether it was him in 17.1 or advice for me to look elsewhere. I think it might help more to ask Yi's advice on what you need to do, if anything, about him.

In any case, I threw another casting because this one was so confusing. I asked if he was going to pursue me after the lack of contact on my end, and got 31, no changing lines. I think that’s a yes

Again it could well be a yes but there's always more to a Yi answer than a yes or a no otherwise you could simply toss coins. 31 does say there is a need to make room for an influence or attraction, to allow it to be otherwise one can get very caught up in projections.

Have you two ever really had the space to properly share feelings and thoughts about one another ?

If he does pursue you don't run straight back in to any kind of game plan, make sure you really hear one another.

 

[Hexagramer]

I love relationship questions. Though I’m not an expert, Here’s how I see things: 17.1 - to come out of the gate and interact brings achievement, auspicious. He may interact with you. 17.3 - Related to the big man, losing the small child. Did he make you upset because he was being childish? If that is the case, maybe he will finally put on his big boy pants and man up to whatever he did to make you upset. I love UC castings because they’re usually clear-cut answers for me. 31 UC usually means the person is still attracted so yes, he may still pursue you.

 

[Liberate]

Your own bias is something useful not something to be afraid of. I mean I know we can see what we want to at times but on the other hand even people new to the I Ching can get quite a clear intuitive sense of their answer that an outsider may not.Thanks for having a go at it. Your interpretation could be correct. It is difficult when asking what others are going to do since often the advice comes back as to what you need to do because after all that's the real question, you need to know what to do about this. Hang on and hope or let it go ?If the answer is directly about him then 17.1 would show rather than returning to previous relationships he's on the look for something new. 17.3 shows him choosing to be mature here whatever that means in the situation.It's sometimes risky giving someone you still like timeout without letting them know the reason, well risky if you want them back, because of course they may not come back and then your 'game plan' can backfire.If I had asked this question I wouldn't know how to take this answer, whether it was him in 17.1 or advice for me to look elsewhere. I think it might help more to ask Yi's advice on what you need to do, if anything, about him.Again it could well be a yes but there's always more to a Yi answer than a yes or a no otherwise you could simply toss coins. 31 does say there is a need to make room for an influence or attraction, to allow it to be otherwise one can get very caught up in projections.Have you two ever really had the space to properly share feelings and thoughts about one another ? If he does pursue you don't run straight back in to any kind of game plan, make sure you really hear one another.

Since we just started dating, we have not really properly verbalized our feelings for one another, but I know he is really attracted just by assessing his behavior towards me when we were together. I guess actions speak louder than words can apply here. If he does pursue me, I will take your advice and talk to him about this.

 

[Liberate]

I love relationship questions. Though I’m not an expert, Here’s how I see things: 17.1 - to come out of the gate and interact brings achievement, auspicious. He may interact with you. 17.3 - Related to the big man, losing the small child. Did he make you upset because he was being childish? If that is the case, maybe he will finally put on his big boy pants and man up to whatever he did to make you upset. I love UC castings because they’re usually clear-cut answers for me. 31 UC usually means the person is still attracted so yes, he may still pursue you.

Yeah, he did something very childish. If he is going to man up and be mature about it, then it would mean getting an apology from him. 31 is in relation to mutual attraction, so I really hope he will.

 

[rosada]

I hope he will too, Liberate, but in the interests of learning to interpret the I Ching - and not because I want to rain on your parade! - I think it might be worthwhile to look at the hexagrams more closely.

Noting the sequence can often give useful insights. Hexagram 17 follows 16.6, the line about having been overly exuberant and the times now calling for pulling back. Thus, this hexagram's Image says, "At nightfall the superior man goes indoors for rest and recuperation" as in after the initial excitement the enthusiasm wears off and it's time to give it all a rest.

Then the actual hexagram. 17. Following is about being adaptable, knowing when to lead and when to follow. The key emphasis with this hexagram is on the importance of give and take and being receptive to the partner's. This could refer to his needing to be receptive to you but also, particularly since this friendship is so new, the importance of you being receptive to him. Basically the situation calls for open communication. Nothing can be gained at this time by being silent and hoping the other will somehow get the message!

17.1 While the line says "The standard is changing, perseverance brings good fortune," the perseverance it refers to is the willingness to persevere on a new path. As your friendship sounds fairly new this could mean your friend has a desire to persevere with you but it could also be saying he decides to persevere with going on alone. "The standard" could mean while you think you are owed an apology, it may be that you will have to reach out to him. The line also encourages talking to people with different points of view, even those who's ideas we disagree with - maybe that's saying he's now looking to meet new people and it could even be referring to us here and me putting a different spin on how others see these lines!

17.3 I can see how one might interpret this line as meaning he sees the errors of his ways and decides to change, however the line can also mean literally giving up friendships and he looking for new friends. It might even be advising you to let him go!

These lines lead to hexagram 31.Wooing which is another hexagram that emphasizes the importance of mutual trust and sharing. The Image gives the specific advice, "The superior man ENCOURAGES people to approach him by his READINESS to receive them." Could this be suggesting you send him some message like, "Okay, I'm over my mad, please give me a call I'm ready to talk"?

Best wishes with all this. I hope you'll give us an update!

 

[Liberate]

I hope he will too, Liberate, but in the interests of learning to interpret the I Ching - and not because I want to rain on your parade! - I think it might be worthwhile to look at the hexagrams more closely.Noting the sequence can often give useful insights. Hexagram 17 follows 16.6, the line about having been overly exuberant and the times now calling for pulling back. Thus, this hexagram's Image says, "At nightfall the superior man goes indoors for rest and recuperation" as in after the initial excitement the enthusiasm wears off and it's time to give it all a rest.Then the actual hexagram. 17. Following is about being adaptable, knowing when to lead and when to follow. The key emphasis with this hexagram is on the importance of give and take and being receptive to the partner's. This could refer to his needing to be receptive to you but also, particularly since this friendship is so new, the importance of you being receptive to him. Basically the situation calls for open communication. Nothing can be gained at this time by being silent and hoping the other will somehow get the message!17.1 While the line says "The standard is changing, perseverance brings good fortune," the perseverance it refers to is the willingness to persevere on a new path. As your friendship sounds fairly new this could mean your friend has a desire to persevere with you but it could also be saying he decides to persevere with going on alone. "The standard" could mean while you think you are owed an apology, it may be that you will have to reach out to him. The line also encourages talking to people with different points of view, even those who's ideas we disagree with - maybe that's saying he's now looking to meet new people and it could even be referring to us here and me putting a different spin on how others see these lines!17.3 I can see how one might interpret this line as meaning he sees the errors of his ways and decides to change, however the line can also mean literally giving up friendships and he looking for new friends. It might even be advising you to let him go!These lines lead to hexagram 31.Wooing which is another hexagram that emphasizes the importance of mutual trust and sharing. The Image gives the specific advice, "The superior man ENCOURAGES people to approach him by his READINESS to receive them." Could this be suggesting you send him some message like, "Okay, I'm over my mad, please give me a call I'm ready to talk"?Best wishes with all this. I hope you'll give us an update!

Well, that was quick! I received a message from him today, asking me how I was doing. He also wanted to know if he could take me out for coffee tomorrow. Instead of responding to the message, I simply called him to let him know I was really upset with him, and he said he knew that and wanted to apologize. We’re going to continue our conversation tomorrow when we meet. From what I could pick up during our conversation over the phone, he did seem genuinely sorry, so I accepted his apology. Thanks everyone, for your help with this.

 

[rosada]

Wonderful!
I was just about to post that I had some new thoughts about the lines which I'm going to go ahead and write here because I think they may be helpful for understanding th lines.

17.1 says leader becomes the follower. I see this in this situation as meaning that you made it clear you were no longer willing to follow his lead if this was going to be his behavior. Thus with no follower the friend is no longer a leader. He now becomes a follower and must now choose someone to follow - woull it be you with your ground rules or would it be someone else, maybe just his own self indulgent inner kid spirit?

17.3 He gives up the little boy and chooses the older man. I see this as saying he decides to disconnect from those who encourage his childish self and chooses to follow those mature women who know how to use tough love and who bring out his inner adult.

So I'm now seeing these lines as saying you were right to say "I won't go along with this." (although from the way you told it here it sounded to me like you suddenly stopped talking to him with out explanation) It has indeed led to 31. Wooing!