Hello,

I ask for your insights to help me with this passage....

My experience in the 8 day silent retreat was extraordinary - deeply fulfilling and a precious time of light, beauty and real depth of joy. I received such blessings - light, visions, hope, gratitude and totally unexpectedly the tranformative power of prayer and Christ. It could not have been a more powerful or precious time with light and joy just flooding through me for hours on end. St.Beaunos was the subject of a BBC programme 'The Big Silence' and as soon as I saw it I was drawn to go - which is how I ended up there 6 months later.

Back now and feeling the shadow side of the light - all this startling and electric energy inside with no place to go as such. Am based between my supportive family but feel the pressure & need to ground and act in order to make the most of this potential energy. (26 was my focus now, unchanging).

My husband is coming back for one month on April 5th before starting his year at the buddist retreat centre. I received the hexagram 28 with lines 2 and 6 for guidance for this time - such is my overwhelming state with needing to find my way that I couldn't really form a question about it as such. And so, asked for advice only on this time.

28:2 seemed to be a very good way of looking at it - that there is the potential for new growth now and for a means of revitalising the relationship - but with line 28:6 advice not to go in over your head and get dragged back into the uncertainties and problems. I have managed in the retreat to detach from him and feel good and excited about this new period of growth for us both in our own individual ways. Dobro mentions in a thread that line 28:6 can also mean not to go in over your head in thoughts about it - which I am very tempted to do when I go into fear mode.

But the question remains - with so much spinning around - what to do? I feel that a community would be a good place for me right now - to face the anxieties I have about being out of my comfort zone and also to be with others where the acts of worship are the foundation of their lives - incorporating prayer, meditation into the day before being busy in the community. I received hexagram 16:5 - 45 for this - which suggested to me that this could be a purposeful step and 16:5 seemed to be addressing my anxieties which arise from imaging the negative and fearful side of it.

Looking towards the one local one and asking about being there for a while - I received 44:1, 2 and 4 - 37. Now I realise that this is an awful lot of questions to ask and I've seen on the forum that generally people who ask too much in one thread tend to get few insights possibly because its all too much - but I wanted to put it all into context. Maybe one of you will feel drawn to answering just one bit of it. So, I offer it here and my thoughts on the 44 lines are quite confused to be honest. I can be a bit like the pig who has everything going - all the transformative power, the insight, the richness, but whose own imaginings can cause such a huge entangling if allowed to be unleashed. I have been blessed lavishly and really want to use this time for growth and to find my way - I could not be more hungry for it or eager - and so I ask for your experience and wisdom to help if you will on any aspect of it?...Hebe

hebe said:

Hello,

I ask for your insights to help me with this passage....

My experience in the 8 day silent retreat was extraordinary - deeply fulfilling and a precious time of light, beauty and real depth of joy. I received such blessings - light, visions, hope, gratitude and totally unexpectedly the tranformative power of prayer and Christ. It could not have been a more powerful or precious time with light and joy just flooding through me for hours on end. St.Beaunos was the subject of a BBC programme 'The Big Silence' and as soon as I saw it I was drawn to go - which is how I ended up there 6 months later.

Back now and feeling the shadow side of the light - all this startling and electric energy inside with no place to go as such. Am based between my supportive family but feel the pressure & need to ground and act in order to make the most of this potential energy. (26 was my focus now, unchanging).

My husband is coming back for one month on April 5th before starting his year at the buddist retreat centre. I received the hexagram 28 with lines 2 and 6 for guidance for this time - such is my overwhelming state with needing to find my way that I couldn't really form a question about it as such. And so, asked for advice only on this time.

28:2 seemed to be a very good way of looking at it - that there is the potential for new growth now and for a means of revitalising the relationship - but with line 28:6 advice not to go in over your head and get dragged back into the uncertainties and problems. I have managed in the retreat to detach from him and feel good and excited about this new period of growth for us both in our own individual ways. Dobro mentions in a thread that line 28:6 can also mean not to go in over your head in thoughts about it - which I am very tempted to do when I go into fear mode.

But the question remains - with so much spinning around - what to do? I feel that a community would be a good place for me right now - to face the anxieties I have about being out of my comfort zone and also to be with others where the acts of worship are the foundation of their lives - incorporating prayer, meditation into the day before being busy in the community. I received hexagram 16:5 - 45 for this - which suggested to me that this could be a purposeful step and 16:5 seemed to be addressing my anxieties which arise from imaging the negative and fearful side of it.

Looking towards the one local one and asking about being there for a while - I received 44:1, 2 and 4 - 37. Now I realise that this is an awful lot of questions to ask and I've seen on the forum that generally people who ask too much in one thread tend to get few insights possibly because its all too much - but I wanted to put it all into context. Maybe one of you will feel drawn to answering just one bit of it. So, I offer it here and my thoughts on the 44 lines are quite confused to be honest. I can be a bit like the pig who has everything going - all the transformative power, the insight, the richness, but whose own imaginings can cause such a huge entangling if allowed to be unleashed. I have been blessed lavishly and really want to use this time for growth and to find my way - I could not be more hungry for it or eager - and so I ask for your experience and wisdom to help if you will on any aspect of it?...Hebe

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Simply, I believe your anxieties might be unfounded as you are capable of creating the atmosphere you need for growth and spiritual contributions that are very strong in any gathering or environment. You are a force and a strength in mainstream situations and there is no reason to think that you require a cloistered atmosphere as you are a resource in general to other people already. You have only to believe it. Although your emotions may be singed by the experience you have had, your spirit is only stronger.

Hex 44 is a nightmare, and I've got a thread now in Exploring Divination to prove it. But, again, what is being said here about a local community you might commit to, I would especially focus on the 44.4 that seems to indicate if you restrict yourself to a small place then the inspiration and opportunity that awaits you can't reach you.

Hebe, I would think you can do anything, benefit anywhere, simply because of who you are. There would seem to be opportunities there for you beyond the scope of what you are presently considering. I'd imagine that you carry a "spiritual community" with you wherever you go, so don't be frightened that you are too small for anything. XO Arabella

How strange - my reply yesterday didn't come up which I've only just noticed. Thanks Arabella - always good to hear from you! I went over to your thread on 44 which, I must admit opened my eyes further to the complexities of the 44. It seems a challenging one and I value & appreciate what you say - and would like to ask you a further question in your opinion. The 16.5 which asked about joining a community in general, not specifically naming one - which the 44 addressed - would you say that your thoughts on doing something else that I've not considered yet, took in the 16.5 as well? Do you think it was addressing - persevere with this idea of joining a community for a while, as Hilary says on this line ' it won't kill you, you know' or: persevere with your wider search. My question exactly was: what would be the outcome of volunteering at this time at a christian community? Take care, Hebe

hebe said:

How strange - my reply yesterday didn't come up which I've only just noticed. Thanks Arabella - always good to hear from you! I went over to your thread on 44 which, I must admit opened my eyes further to the complexities of the 44. It seems a challenging one and I value & appreciate what you say - and would like to ask you a further question in your opinion. The 16.5 which asked about joining a community in general, not specifically naming one - which the 44 addressed - would you say that your thoughts on doing something else that I've not considered yet, took in the 16.5 as well? Do you think it was addressing - persevere with this idea of joining a community for a while, as Hilary says on this line ' it won't kill you, you know' or: persevere with your wider search. My question exactly was: what would be the outcome of volunteering at this time at a christian community? Take care, Hebe

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Well, here is LiSe on 16.5 and I like the way she writes it. It seems to describe somebody who is going forward in a rather numb way, still alive but not really taking the "juice" from life. It more or less says that you can do the protected and safe thing, the one that doesn't require you to question, bash your head on a brick wall, wonder, or be lonely. But you will only get out what you put in -- and in this protected place, that is just protection, not necessarily growth and happiness that you may be capable of having. At least, this is what I read.

It's a casting which makes me think, HOW you gather with others is key and you are capable of so much. A secondary thought: not to simply mirror your husband and imply you will be there forever, waiting, in a celebate place. But my primary fear would be that, yes you could be in a cloistered place and feel just fine, but by limiting your horizons, your vista, so much you may very well miss the opportunity, the spark, the risk perhaps, that is going to ignite life for you and establish your future direction past your immediate expectations. You may need that pressure, that complexity, that "unbelief" as LiSe says, that will enflame your true creativity.

6 at 5: Determination: affliction. Persevering, not dying.
Inspiration will get lost if it is not caught within necessity or difficulty. Creativity will become reality when it comes up against a wall of obstinate matter, of unbelief, loneliness. When everything is too easy, creativity evaporates without crystallizing.

Thank you so much arabella - that really does hit the nail on the head - don't know how I missed Lise this time, I normally read her quite near the beginning of my interpretations. There is alot that you've got in that and I'll let that 'roll around in my heart' as Karcher put it.

Thank you again - there is really something in that, love Hebe