Financial help, that would be very welcomed as I'm currently trying to make ends meet (but its not like I don't have food to eat, dont get me wrong), its just that I havent contacted her for I think around one or two years, she was toxic for me and every time I contact her it was bad for my health so I just cut her out of my life. Its not that she was evil, it was more of a typical unhealthy family I was raised from (alcoholic father thats dead for many years now and unhealthy overcontorolling mother). After many years of trying various approaches I figured out that no contact rule works best for me. With all its dire consequences. Yet, I see how often people from normal families ask for some financial help and it was several years since I asked for anything like that from her.I could go without it, but at the same time it would be a welcomed relief for the Christmas period to not need to worry about every single penny that I spend. How do you interpret the Oracle?

If you write the word "Hexagram" in front of the number of the hexagram you received it will make it easier for those of us who subscribe to wikiwing and thus more likely you will get more thoroughly researched answers.

I see. Thanks for the tip. I am not able to edit the post now somehow.

can you maybe edit the topic title and add the word 'Hexagram' in front as required? I am not able to do it.

hexagram 23.4.5.6

What I get from your reading: it looks like as she would indeed help you, but you wouldn't get away just with the money, it looks like as you would also be confronted with the old conflict again, there is obviously still something between you that has to be worked through and can't be simply ignored. You must decide if you are ready to expose yourself to this.

P.S: I may be totally off track, but from your reading, especially from 23.6, I get a feeling that some unconcious part of you wants to confront and the money thing is not the only issue why you are thinking about contacting her.

MrKind said:

can you maybe edit the topic title and add the word 'Hexagram' in front as required? I am not able to do it.

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To be clear there is no need for you to edit anything at all. You have written your cast correctly here

Should I contact my mother and ask for help 23.4.5.6>45

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That is exactly how a person is advised to write the cast in the guidelines, will link. Here https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...59-How-to-get-the-most-from-sharing-a-reading

It is only Rosada's own preference you write 'hexagram' in front of anything. If it's her preference that's fine but it isn't a rule and it isn't something I think is necessary at all. If people want to go to wikiwing, and I have written a lot of entries in there, they can go there by themselves. As a contributor to wiki I do not think the purpose of it is so that people answering here can hop over there to inform themselves in order to regurgitate it here. Of course they can hop over there any way whenever they want so there is no need to write 'hexagram 24 changing to hexagram 32' etc that is only to make it super convenient for someone if they can't be bothered just to go and look if they need to.

So you are already writing the cast correctly and the only reason you'd need to write 'hexagram' in front of anything is if you want to make life easier for Rosada which you may understandably wish to do. But it is not necessary IMO for other members of wikiwing of which I am one.

Trojina said:

To be clear there is no need for you to edit anything at all. You have written your cast correctly here That is exactly how a person is advised to write the cast in the guidelines, will link. Here https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...59-How-to-get-the-most-from-sharing-a-readingIt is only Rosada's own preference you write 'hexagram' in front of anything. If it's her preference that's fine but it isn't a rule and it isn't something I think is necessary at all. If people want to go to wikiwing, and I have written a lot of entries in there, they can go there by themselves. As a contributor to wiki I do not think the purpose of it is so that people answering here can hop over there to inform themselves in order to regurgitate it here. Of course they can hop over there any way whenever they want so there is no need to write 'hexagram 24 changing to hexagram 32' etc that is only to make it super convenient for someone if they can't be bothered just to go and look if they need to.So you are already writing the cast correctly and the only reason you'd need to write 'hexagram' in front of anything is if you want to make life easier for Rosada which you may understandably wish to do. But it is not necessary IMO for other members of wikiwing of which I am one.

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Right, gotcha. I see. Not a big problem for me if it can help others out

Yes.. Thank you. This is exactly what I'm suspecting. Instead of helping me out she'll start asking tons of questions, trying to "talk with me" and sucking me into her usual toxicity. I have tried various approaches over the years and nothing works, there is always anger and arguments at the end. Probably because so far I'm the only one who put any effort to sort out his relationship with the past and work on myself to create a better life. I think feeling "this way" again is the last thing I need for now especially when considering how hard I'm working on the new me and my new life now. No money can buy me peace of mind and I was always either depressed or angry (or both) after contacting her. I think I will skip on this one... I sensed that somehow.

The most frustrating and sad thing about this is that I remain both without family and without any options for someone helping me a little bit in situations like that. But, hell, it's not the end of the world and humbleness is a good trait. I can skip on some Christmas extravaganza this year.

There are a lot of things I would love to confront or try to get a closure or explanation from her but every time I tried she either shrug it under the carpet or ignored me or lied to me etc or gaslighted and so on... There's no point in this because for successful resolution both adults need to speak with each other on an equal basis not like 'I'm your mother I know better', can you imagine she was denying any faults on her side only until I cut the ropes and stopped any contacts? Even then she tried to use me to get direct access to my inheritance after death of her father who signed it up to me. But I can't talk with her like with a normal adult, I think it's still not the right time.

Hello MrKind,

obviously you feel like she owes you a lot. So the idea seems to be that she could at least help you a bit making your life easier moneywise, if she can't help failing in all other realms of your relationship. Understandable, while it's unlikely that it will be that easy, as you also said. But I didn't write that she will not help you, I said from your reading you shouldn't expect that she will hand you over the money and that's it.

Also it's a complex reading with three changing lines, there are for sure other approaches on the result and it's worth to think about it thoroughly and possibly other community members here will respond as well.

You didn't have any contact to her for a long time, there is still a chance that she started learning something from your withdrawal. Maybe if you feel the urge you could try to approach her in a cautious way without involving too much and have a look if she started changing her way of thinking? I don't want to spread false hope, but I know from my own experience that even the most egoistical people may start rethinking when they are left from their relatives.

I know that the christmas period is the time, when you feel the absence of family in it's most painful way. I hope you have some friends with whom you can spend some time?

black milk said:

Hello MrKind,obviously you feel like she owes you a lot.So the idea seems to be that she could at least help you a bit making your life easier moneywise, if she can't help failing in all other realms of your relationship. Understandable, while it's unlikely that it will be that easy, as you also said. But I didn't write that she will not help you, I said from your reading you shouldn't expect that she will hand you over the money and that's it.Also it's a complex reading with three changing lines, there are for sure other approaches on the result and it's worth to think about it thoroughly and possibly other community members here will respond as well.You didn't have any contact to her for a long time, there is still a chance that she started learning something from your withdrawal. Maybe if you feel the urge you could try to approach her in a cautious way without involving too much and have a look if she started changing her way of thinking? I don't want to spread false hope, but I know from my own experience that even the most egoistical people may start rethinking when they are left from their relatives.I know that the christmas period is the time, when you feel the absence of family in it's most painful way. I hope you have some friends with whom you can spend some time?

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Yes, you are right that is exactly how I see it. I don't need or don't want her presence in my life in any form. But if she failed at everything else, she could at least help a bit financially. Especially that I asked for this only few times after I moved from my homeland (I moved out from my home when I was 21, I'm 34 now). I am very independent and self reliant. At this point, I am not willing to contact her and "restart" our relationship because there is no relationship. And the one that was in the past ,was very toxic and harmful for my own health. "you shouldn't expect that she will hand you over the money and that's it." well she can't do much really as she doesnt know where I live, doesnt know my current phone number, and all that. But I am sure she will at least try. From her point of view I was "a bad son that left his mother" (obviously).Before I was already doing shorter cutting out of communication and then I thought okay thats enough, she probably understood her mistakes, but every time (and I tried this dozens and dozens of times!) it was just back to square zero. "she started learning something from your withdrawal" - even if, I really don't care. It's too late for me and my relation with her. At this point, she is just an unknown alien person to me who share the same bloodline. That's about it. Sad, but true. I am okay with it. I suggested her many times she should visit a therapist, but I doubt she did. And I don't even want to go into trying to confront her with all that shit she has done, deliberately or not - again, not my problem. I was a child in that relation. I could not be responsible for what was happening, it was their (parents) job. Don't worry regarding Christmas Thanks for the kind words (pun intended I am not alone here. PS. To add to the fun, today I've been caught on crossing the red light and need to pay the fine! Hahaha my bad, first ticket ever! But oh the irony! I would also love to hear other opinions.

When I first started consulting the I Ching the answers were so clear! If I'd asked back then, "Should I ask my mother for financial assistance?" and gotten 23.4.5.6>45 I would have seen it as saying, "Split apart from this Group!" and gone on my merry way. Now I know too much. I see subtleties. Maybe 23.5 is pointing out ways reconnecting could be possible? Maybe 45 means being a part of the family group would be a good thing? It's complicated..

Anyway, I think you've already decided not to go that route but just for the sake of understanding the I Ching I'm going to try to decipher the response...

23.4 Stripping the bed by way of the flesh.
Pitfall.

Ouch! Hilary comments in WikiWing that this line indicates going about doing something in a manner that is hurtful. I think this emphasizes that you are looking for a way to get some money and reconnecting with Mom is a particularly hard way to go - stripping the flesh - like selling a kidney.

rosada said:

When I first started consulting the I Ching the answers were so clear! If I'd asked back then, "Should I ask my mother for financial assistance?" and gotten 23.4.5.6>45 I would have seen it as saying, "Split apart from this Group!" and gone on my merry way. Now I know too much. I see subtleties. Maybe 23.5 is pointing out ways reconnecting could be possible? Maybe 45 means being a part of the family group would be a good thing? It's complicated..Anyway, I think you've already decided not to go that route but just for the sake of understanding the I Ching I'm going to try to decipher the response...Back in a minute..

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Thanks Rosada, I'm very curious about your interpretation. I was fairly decided not to but after getting that ticket this morning I'm thinking about it again. with that relationship we didn't even started to really confront the past, as she was denying everything. She never even acknowledged her fault apart from one time (but again words not actions)... The more I'm thinking about how many things were left unresolved makes me feel that old anger rising in me. Money would be helpful but is it worth it to risk stress for it? That's the thing.

We crossed posts.
Okay, so 23.4 emphasizes how painful this situation is.

23.5 Strings together.
Nothing that does not bring harvest.
So okay, that sounds like the idea of reconnecting could be a good thing...

MrKind said:

The most frustrating and sad thing about this is that I remain both without family and without any options for someone helping me a little bit in situations like that. But, hell, it's not the end of the world and humbleness is a good trait. I can skip on some Christmas extravaganza this year.

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I've been living like this for years now but somehow something or someone steps in at the 11th hour to help out. I told my mother to get lost permanently in 2009 and I've never ever regretted it. I've worked on my issues brought about by her personal issues that impacted on my life and I find it terribly sad this had to happen but I've gotten over it because I'm a much better person without her in my life.

Rosada,23.4 Stripping the bed by way of the flesh. Pitfall.-- definitely. For me its not really the fact I will ask for money (kids from normal families do it all the time! so no regret here) but rather that it feels to me like I am giving away part of my power to her - again. (remember that she was overprotective, over-controlling and all that) 23.4 emphasizes how painful this situation is.-- definitely true. as for me, I could not get a closure or resolution due to her immaturity, I had to bury down all my own issues with her too. But nothing was resolved... I dont know whether it can be, and at this point I am not sure its even worth to try. Some part of me is telling me its far too early for that, maybe in a couple of years. 23.5 Strings together. Nothing that does not bring harvest.But obviously universe is giving me signs that probably it would be a good idea to at least try one more time, and do it under "my own rules" as much as possible. This year (2017) is numerologically "1" so new beginnings. Only that I am not entirely convinced I should start again with the same bollocks... if you are getting me.

23.6
Large fruit remains uneaten.
Noble one gets a cart.
Small persons strip their huts.

Could the large fruit be the financial help? Noble one getting a cart meaning you moving on? Small persons stripping their huts, as in destroying peace of mind?

Hexagram 45 refers to membership in a group. Perhaps this is recognition that your relationship with this woman is not the usual supportive parent and child connection but more distant, like you are members of the same gene pool.

All in all this reading sounds like the I Ching is telling you that in your current state of mind getting in touch with your mom for support would be a painful way to go although reconnecting could bring some sort of aid or "harvest". However, it's probably better that fruit remain uneaten and that you move on.

By the way, the planet Saturn is at the last degrees of Sagittarius these days. Saturn is the planet of limits, commitments, responsibility and debts. In this position ant the last degrees of the sign it's in there is an awareness of the need to fulfill commitments, to limit responsibilities to pay off debts. The idea is that new resources will not be made available to us until we do what ever it was we promised to do with the resources that were already given to us. It's considered a bad time for borrowing money or going into debt because the debt could last for a long time. The advice for how to maneuver this energy pattern is to complete any commitments (even minor stuff - make the bed, take out the trash) and pay off debts (again, may be minor - take books back to the library, return a phone call) and aim to be self-sufficient. While at first glance this advice can seem pretty bleak but in practice there can be a big reward because by doing these things on finds themselves in their right place. Like you can't afford to give fancy Christmas presents so you compose and sing a funny song to sing instead and it turns out to be just what the party needed.

Saturn at the last degree also represents the desire to have closer. I wonder if your manifesting this need for money and it's leading to thoughts of contacting your mom is actually the Universe nudging you to somehow find closer with the past? Like needing money is soul's way of getting you to consider the relationship and to find a way to bring it to a place of peace so you don't find yourself getting angry and manifesting traffic tickets when you think of her! Have you seen the movie "As Good as It Gets"? There is a great scene in it where the son who has been totally disowned by his parents (because he's gay) tells his mother that it's totally okay and wishes them well and you know it's true. Anyway, great movie.

So if this need for money is somehow tied to a need to have a less toxic connection with the parent. Not necessarily that you become closer, but rather that you become more comfortable with the distance. Like you no longer have to have anger. Interesting 45. says yes we're all members of the group but the Image still cautions having some protection.
Maybe asking a question about your relationship with your mother would be helpful. Like, "What should be my attitude towards my mother?" or "Describe my relationship with my mother,"

Best wishes,
rosada

My mum is a Sagittarius. I dont have any debts nor I borrow money from anyone from a long time. It's just some spendings adding up. But as I said, its not that I don't have money for food.The only way I thought that it might work - is to contact her and say upfront a few things that I am not ready to talk about anything and the time is not right now, but maybe in a year or two. I can imagine that if she was doing any ''homework'' on her part, she would be able to say "I understand" and don't try to force anything (like "why you arent calling me and when you do, I just suffocate you with negative stories or I am not really interested in what you are telling me")."your mom is actually the Universe nudging you to somehow find closer with the past?" sorry- you meant "closure" ,right?Maybe. Albeit again, I am sure its too early. But maybe there won't be a time when I will feel "okay this is the right moment"? Who knows. At this point I am pretty convinced that it's not possible to resolve the past. It's just too much. Nobody needs or wants it. I've learned how to live a pretty decent life on my own. I am [and I won't] look for ways to re-ignite family relations, especially that my father is long dead, and the remaining people are just as toxic. Really makes no sense. And one more thing with the whole closure thing - at this point I can say I haven't even started to express my anger at what happened. Everything was averted. I simply manage it now. I once read about a famous female boxer who had an alcoholic father. She was winning a lot of matches and told the press that every time on a ring, she was actually fighting her father and that was her way of 'processing' that anger. But it also made that anger a constant need of 'being processed' this way. I rather want to avoid one-way-paths like that for myself. To be honest, before I was planning to contact her maybe in 2018. I have birthdays soon (Scorpio) so she will probably try to send me some emails anyway. I am aware of the law of attraction too, pretty well. I watched 'as good as it gets' when I was a kid, need to re watch it probably soon! I will ask those two other questions you suggested. Thank you for all your help, definitely helpful. It's great to be able to speak from my heart to like-minded individuals who are also aware of our deep connection with the Universe.

Maybe she needs to feel how it is to want to talk and not being able to (as in the past I was trying to talk with her about all this, but she was denying and escaping from it). I will think about it and post the Oracle answer for those two other questions later tonight after I will be back from work. Thanks again.

Happy for you! And yes, I have achieved so much more on my own that when I was in semi-constant contact with her. Some people are so toxic that they should be removed from our lived. It doesn't matter who they are - a colleague, a neighbour or a parent. Period.

^^^This was a reply to oceangirl. Reply with quote doesnt work for me