Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
The literal translation of "and now, what do I do?" implies the exact same thing in my native language, too.In my native language I asked something which literally translates as "and now, what do I do?" But it was more of a sigh thing, like "what now?"
I was reading that post today. I remember your story.But it's curious because 51.1.4 was the first hexagram I've ever got regarding her
Wow, it's been three years and it's really moving to see that. What a wonderful community. I also remember that you helped to shed some light in other castings. And this time as well... I really appreciate it, thank you.I was reading that post today. I remember your story.
When we broke up she said that she still loves me, "but feelings are not everything"...I interpret the casts a bit intuitively:
28.4> 48 sounds like the relationship is solid itself, there are external things that cause problem.
True. From her point of view I wasn't being myself anymore and she felt I was pushing her away subconsciously.38 says at that time she felt alienated from you.
I agree. I'm trying not to cut contacts but also not to pursue her. Today she contacted me and she asked me how I was, and she told that she don't want that we lose each other. I answered that it won't happen as we've been knowing each other for many years even before being together, and that I can't tell for sure how I'm going to process this changes, and she can't tell either, but I'm sure we will cross paths again as we always did. To be honest I don't want to ghost her not only cause she deserves much better but because I don't think the "no contact rule" always applies, at least not so strictly. But if she left me she also must reflect on what she's missing. I can't just stay be as available as before I guess. It's a fine line...53 gradual progress says it takes time to solve the problems but it's possible. 53 is good for whatever end you have in the mind. And it's the hexagram of marriage.
5 ... waiting is needed. Again, time.
34.2.3>51 it's a shock, be strong. Go on with your life for the moment. Don't force your relationship to rekindle, but make a net, little by little.
Haha yes! She used to mock me saying that I live like a monk also where I study I live in an attic... So I literally bump my head in the roof beams sometimesThe text of the Image says: "Thus the superior man, when he stands alone, is unconcerned, and if he has to renounce the world, he is undaunted."
When you look at these texts from the point of view of your passion for your music studies, they seem to describe the situation quite well.
When this line changes, you get H48. This is the hexagram of the unchangeable, the things in life that are of principle importance that they cannot change.
The text of Judgement talks about how you can change the town but not the well. So the question is what is your well/source? What is it that will never change for you?
I didn't want to sound rude in my interpretation, but from your whole story, it appears to me that your greatest love, is the love of music. It probably goes beyond love and is rather a passion you cannot deny. The Yi's response seems to point in a direction to focus entirely on that now. By the way, this says nothing about how the relationship with your ex-girlfriend will develop.Probably the well is my purpose in life. What gives me a sense of direction and mostly is music, even if sometimes I feel this like a burden,
You didn't sound rude at all, it made me smile! It's true what you say. I wish I could have made space for both but the reality is that I've always prioritised music, otherwise I would have regretted it.I didn't want to sound rude in my interpretation, but from your whole story, it appears to me that your greatest love, is the love of music. It probably goes beyond love and is rather a passion you cannot deny. The Yi's response seems to point in a direction to focus entirely on that now. By the way, this says nothing about how the relationship with your ex-girlfriend will develop.
Phaboo,I wish I could have made space for both but the reality is that I've always prioritised music, otherwise I would have regretted it.
Although the question may or may not be justified, it obviously has nothing at all to do with the I Ching and the purpose of this forum. People come here for help with an answer they have received from the Yi and not to justify to others about matters in their private lives.Phaboo,
this time it is me who hopes not sound rude. Just some questions.
your girlfriend has needs, she had counted on your future together and for keeping on the relationship with you she has to sacrifice many things. On the other hand, I remember you saying in another thread that you started feeling attracted to "fit" girls on the Instagram because your girlfriend had let her go at the time.
Well, how would you feel if you put much time on the music, let go of yourself for a time and she started to be attracted to "fit" guys? Or simply she starts to be attracted to rich guys?
How would you feel if you sacrificed your wishes, tolerated difficulties and at the end of the day, learnt that you haven't been her priority and she isn't willing to let go of things in her life for you?
Excuse me really if this sound rude but it's a real question of mine.
I don't see it this way.Although the question may or may not be justified, it obviously has nothing at all to do with the I Ching and the purpose of this forum. People come here for help with an answer they have received from the Yi and not to justify to others about matters in their private lives.
You have already an assumption while I just asked the questions.it appears to me that your greatest love, is the love of music.
Small correction, I make my assumption based on his own storyYou have already an assumption while I just asked the questions.
but from your whole story, it appears to me that your greatest love, is the love of music.
In my opinion, given what he writes himself, it is a correct assumption.Counting the pre bachelor years, it has been 9 years of studying. And during the last three years, she says, it's been "one crisis after another", referring both to myself and us, because she's the kind of person that feels the urge to take care for you whenever you're struggling for something even if there's nothing you can do other than being on their side. And being with me, struggling with financial hardships and uncertainties about the future and simply lots and lots of pressure has been exhausting. This escalated this summer when we both came back to our hometown for vacation. But I haven't took any more than a couple of holidays because I'm graduating this October and I've been orchestrating a small opera that I've wrote during this year for my graduation in music composition. I almost spent all year without going out or just relax in order to achieve that, expect when I took a train and stayed to her place and viceversa. But when we came back to our hometown I almost never asked her out and when we did see each other, mostly with other people, I was visibly stressed out. Being with my parents makes things even worse because I have even less space and time for myself than before while the work to do stays the same.
You can ask me whatever you want. I appreciate the effort you're putting and I agree that personal information matters, otherwise I wouldn't be sharing this with you. Honestly I didn't remember if I said that exactly, but lots of things happened since that. To begin with, the fact that I may felt attracted to other women didn't change anything how I was attracted to her and loved her. I may have but I never act on it or binge watched profiles, it's not like it seems you're assuming, I was simply concerning that she may was letting herself go and I was analyzing my own feelings. I've never brought this into conversation nor I was conditioned by that, eventually it was her who began to feel insecure about her body, and not because of me, I always told her how beautiful she was in whichever shape and really meant it. Eventually she developed a light form on anorexia, she blamed her mother for that (always telling her to put on a diet ecc, but she was insecure about her body since she was teenager) and now that's where I became really concerned, but I haven't talked of it here (the period you were referring to was from 2 years ago). Luckily it didn't get too much serious (she actually never became underweight, but psychologically it was really bad) and she is fine now. She used to brought up pictures of that period to say "I don't want to become like this anymore" and I always replied that I loved her the way she was and I always found other pictures where she looked absolutely beautiful, because she really was. What I was concerned at that time was the symptom, that she may becoming depressed or lazy in someway, not the fact that she was less attractive because in reality that wasn't even true. And then when she started to become obsessed about her weight I even wished things could return to that period.Phaboo,
this time it is me who hopes not sound rude. Just some questions.
your girlfriend has needs, she had counted on your future together and for keeping on the relationship with you she has to sacrifice many things. On the other hand, I remember you saying in another thread that you started feeling attracted to "fit" girls on the Instagram because your girlfriend had let her go at the time.
What it "the pillar"? I don't know what changes from the last reading. Now, it's not rude and I appreciate your honesty, but it seems that I said something that makes you feel that now I'm not worthy of her anymore, and you brought up things from the past to confirm that, that is somehow related to your other recent thread that I wanted to reply even if I'm not an I Ching expert. Just to say that being attracted to other women, as long as you don't act on it by cheating on your girlfriend and hurt her in any way, is ok for me.Seems reasonable given his last post.
I change my reads:
28.4: the pillar is solide. The rest create problems.
38: the same reading.
53: time heals.
34.2.3: go on with your life, don't force anything with her.
34.3 is very to the point here: she shouldn't force anything either. And I think she has realized it. Given all the problems that aren't going to be solved any time soon and the fact that despite being in a relationship the two have met each other just in social gatherings, without proper communication in a long time, and the fact that she is not a priority despite having tolerated this situation for a good time, I think she has done good not to push the relationship anymore. Good for both parties.
I don't know how that changes your reading. Yes I prioritised music but it's not like I've done it for the sake of it, but because I didn't have other choices and I even said that I feel this like a burden. This year I rushed a lot for graduating in October in order to move in her city in November. Otherwise I could have took another semester because the scholarship (as barely sufficient as it is) lasts until February. I could have slowed things down but she wished me to move in with her asap. Same goes for this summer: have I slowed things down, I wouldn't be still in a rush. I really wanted to enjoy the summer with her, but there are many problems in my hometown that are a bit lengthy to explain here but they basically got in the way of our intimacy whereas during the year we could live together for small periods, etc. I may have looked selfish but in all honesty I was doing this for her too, otherwise I would have approached things much differently this year. With the little spare money and time I had I never went out or meet new people in the city where I lived, instead I always took a train to go to her place etc. I know personal information matters but a 3 year relationship has too much history to fit in a post so sorry if I may accidentally leave some part.I wish I could have made space for both but the reality is that I've always prioritised music, otherwise I would have regretted it.
Yes the topic is related to my other thread but I wasn't aware of that when writing my post here. Everything is complicated and correlated in my life just now, so maybe I repeat some themes.you brought up things from the past to confirm that, that is somehow related to your other recent thread
It will lead to a long, long discussion. So I leave it here: if you assume the same for your girlfriend- that it's OK for her to be attracted to other guys without acting on it- , then good.Just to say that being attracted to other women, as long as you don't act on it by cheating on your girlfriend and hurt her in any way, is ok for me
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).