23.6>2 Did I do the right thing....

[Stevep]

Long story short.My ex girlfriend who broke up with me few months ago is back.I refused to speak with her as she was very mean and nasty and disrespectful to me. We had an argument over the phone. Next day she went to take some money from my dad.The money was gifts she spent on me.I did not confront her as I know she's egoistic and she wants to "win.I ask Iching.Did I do the right thing by letting her have the money?Hexagram 23.6 to 2.Please help. I am really at a loss. My mind is blank.

 

[Stevep]

Anyone??

 

[Trojina]

Long story short.My ex girlfriend who broke up with me few months ago is back.I refused to speak with her as she was very mean and nasty and disrespectful to me. We had an argument over the phone. Next day she went to take some money from my dad.The money was gifts she spent on me.I did not confront her as I know she's egoistic and she wants to "win.I ask Iching.Did I do the right thing by letting her have the money?Hexagram 23.6 to 2.Please help. I am really at a loss. My mind is blank.

I find it quite hard to get a grasp on the situation so I will break it down so I can understand it

1. Girlfriend came back.

2. You refused to speak to her because she is vile

3. You had an argument with her over the phone ( but I thought you said you weren't speaking to her ?)

4. Next day she went to your dad to get money off him (how odd)

5. She was reclaiming off him the money for gifts she had bought you.

6. You didn't argue and you let your dad pay her the money ? You thought 'well she wants to win so let her win'

7. You asked if letting her have the money was the right thing to do. But you didn't let her have the money your dad paid it right ?


Hehe well my first thought is what about your dad's money ? Why should he have to pay it ? Is he going to get it back ?

But let me assume it's your money really and she just collected it off your dad. Did you do the right thing ?

Well there are no half measures in 23.6. After a long process of degenerations it is time for off with the old and moving to a completely new place. Yes I think you did the right thing because you did it in order just to let go and move forward onto pastures new.

I am also going to try inserting your name for 'noble one'. The reason is I think this can help in bringing the ancient obtuse words of Yi right into the here and now.

Here we are, from Hilary's translation (with Steve where 'noble one' is

'A ripe fruit not eaten.
Steve gets a cart,
Small people strip their huts.'

Okay this is an old decayed situation. Small people try to hold onto what they had before. Steve doesn't do this he gets a cart and moves on. Moreover he is able to take something from this old situation which will benefit him for the future.

If you ever do resume with her it will be on a totally different footing. If you don't ever resume with her you have learned something here to take with you into the next relationship you have.

 

[rosada]

Could the small person then be the one taking back the gifts - as in stripping the hut?

Another thought. Perhaps the I Ching is saying with hexagram 2 is that the most important thing, the goal here, is that you be able to let the whole situation dissolve back to neutral.

The gifts - the ripe fruits - were not able to be enjoyed.
A noble person focuses on being able to move on.
A small person obsesses about the losses.

So don't worry about whether returning the gifts/ money was appropriate - keep moving on!

 

[Stevep]

Hi Trojina, A friend has analyse the situation for me.1. Ex girlfriend broke up with me.2. I did not beg her.3. She's insecure. 4. Took revenge on me by taking money from my dad.In a few words, she is revengeful and attention seeker.Yes, dad paid her and I returned my dad money.I am angry with myself.I saw the good in her. I never expected her to do such thing. I feel so disappointed... with her and my judgement.

 

[Trojina]

But I did say I thought you did the right thing with the money.

 

[Stevep]

When I said disappointed with my judgement, I meant I thought she was an Angel... turns out she's a devil.Really angry with myself.

 

[Trojina]

When I said disappointed with my judgement, I meant I thought she was an Angel... turns out she's a devil.Really angry with myself.

It is very hard to read people. I'm always amazed, given how long I've been on the planet and the variety of people I've met in my life, that there are still people who fool me or I don't read right. Often we only see the bit of a person they want to show us but people are like icebergs, 90% of them is underwater.

So I don't think anger at yourself is helpful to yourself really because this happens to everyone no matter how old or wise they think they are.

Also bear in mind she may be neither either angel or devil, people rarely are. She clearly has very intense feelings that got the better of her and made her make a bit of a twat of herself by demanding money for gifts back. That isn't a girl who doesn't care it's a very hurt girl. Not saying it's you who hurt her but clearly something has.

 

[Stevep]

Totally agree with you Trojina .Just like Facebook will always show people smiling away.. but what's behind the smile we wouldn't know.Everyone knows how to smile for the camera.