Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
To understand where things begin and end is great power. To set yourself against a thing might exalt it or make you its victim. Credulity gives it weight, aggression gives it force, gossip gives it a voice and vagueness lends it a wit. Just a simple no will often suffice, or else high, truthful words at court, to get our unspeakable things truthfully named and back into proper perspective - and the rest of life pointed back in its proper direction. Until then we are not rational beings.
pretty good description of whazzisname, literally "ham-handed" far too great (in his own mind) …"This is not wrath or fury, not divine justice or plan, only a thoughtless, ham-handed fist of a world much bigger than us,"
""{The losses won’t be so for long, once the past is washed away. An overwhelming finality helps.
I think you are in two places at the same time
Going down from your previous project (h27, top cycle), and going up in a new direction (h28, bottom cycle) striving for your nourishment (27 in the middle of the bottom cycle
My 100 Days of Solitude after the final breakup with whazzhisname have become 120 days. In addition to our affair,we were engaged in a creative project which never got off the ground. I felt guilty about that, tho by the time the relationship was over, I wasn't really interested in the project either. I had invested much time in it; he had not. My ego was reluctant to admit defeat, to let it go, to rid myself of the illusion that I would JUST DO IT ALONE.
No, really I won't.
But now, at year's end, it's time to decide what to do next. Sitting around disengaging is getting very boring. And excessive. 28 indeed.
I could start a publishing consulting service. Been there, done that, did well enough but didn't enjoy it.
I am a certified Alexander Technique teacher. LOVE the work, but don't really love teaching.
I can write something else. Risky, to a certain extent, tho I have been published by major publishers. But those were works of nonfiction, and I don't really want to do that either.
Fiction? Well. Since I was 8 years old, I wanted to do that but am absolutely terrified that I won't succeed. :bag: I did start a few mss, threw out all but one, which I like very much, though I have exactly 10 completed pages. Terror in the heart, anxiety in the chest. Wow. Overreacting a little? Stage fright? That good old American "can do" spirit, which means you darned well better succeed. Or else!
I've been looking around all day for a 28.1 explanation that gives me a comprehensive and workable view. Found this at Thom Williams' "The Modern Poet's I Ching:"
http://janan.members.sonic.net/ching/main.html#28
Hexagram 28 True Freedom
DON'T BREAK A BROKEN HEART
Exactly when was it, what day, what year
When I stopped being who I was
And became who I am?
Overview
You are deep in your own Tao in this time. Old ways will be shed naturally as the seasons, and new dreams will materialize in quiet moments. Now all you imagined you could be is close around you. Take time to sit down by yourself and feel the powerful currents from which you draw your power. You cannot continue in the light-hearted social vein you have been enjoying. Naturally, people will drift along their own paths away from you, and you'll find new and important directions occurring to you.
Your freedom is complete. Secrets and visions will inspire your fantasies. Like the dark green shadows of a tall forest, you will feel the silences and spaces in life. Old, worn paths of guilt and illusion will seem vivid, but distant, and only the most perceptive of your friends will sense the gifts you are accumulating quickly inside. Until you get the feel of this time, you may be awed by the weight and vastness of all you have seen and felt. Be confident-you are of the earth-as free as the day the world began and as open-hearted.
Line 1
Go out of your way to be imaginative. Sympathy and gentleness will flow. Do the little things that show the world you are for real. "Do it up!" that is-go beyond your normal paths of action and reaction. Reach for the higher, the better, the "cooler." What romance is to life, you are to this line.\\
I don't know how this fits with traditional views, but Thom Williams is reading my heart. Unfortunately, I think he's no longer on the planet…maybe someone knows for sure?
Anyway, the underline sentence describes the reaction my children had to me when we met for Christmas. Apparently I look different, had "beautiful" vibes. Imagine that. Deep changes, and I know it too.
Overall, this reading speaks to the 8-year-old in my heart who's still hopeful that one day I will listen to her and write that fiction. A lot of preparation seems to be required, but I already know that. Outlines, character studies, meticulous research, rewriting and then rewriting again.
Bradford's 43 resonates too:
No drama. Just no to whazzisname and the project we envisioned. And my life pointed back in a direction that resonates with my inner child, who did not give one single hoot about doing something for anyone else. Writing something that would help people. Or even being a "good girl." She simply wanted to imagine stories. What could be as rational as that?
Your comments or insights would be much appreciated. Thanks so much to Clarity and all you wise ones who have helped me so much through this difficult year.
:bows:
:bows:
:bows:
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).