30.3.5 endings

[kestrelw1ngs]

deleted, reposted:

hello people of the Yi. My apologies for the back and forth.


my intuition senses so many endings impending, death of a dear family member, moving. Like a heavy raincloud, a sense of mortality and loss on the horizon which will bring relief but also sadness ...occasioning the question
what does it mean to be real, in this lifetime, this embodiment? knowing it will end?

I asked the Yi to show me an image of my authentic self.
47.4>29

not what anyone would want to hear perhaps but yes, 47, the tree that has to reach deep into spiritual waters due to confinement. to me this felt to be about the ways I feel my own soul, creativity and love get trapped in a body and temperament and old wounds, blocked from expression.

and a few days later: "am I unpleasant when I am myself?" (there's many reasons to think this though its a silly question)
30.3.5>25


these readings struck me very much. 30.5....an ending or sense of mortality revealing or striking some real feeling (25)

im not sure if Yi is warning me of my own death or encouraging contemplation and acceptance of death itself in preparationfor loss. perhaps just appreciation for previous eras of life ending, although they felt "inadequate"

 

[Trojina]

i was just about to answer

why did you delete?

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

deleted

i was just about to answer

why did you delete?

hi Trojina. Was having a moment of self consciousness yesterday and felt it was a bit melodramatic. I can repost

 

[Trojina]

If you like, I didn't think it was melodramatic

 

[my_key]

I asked the Yi to show me an image of my authentic self.
47.4>29

not what anyone would want to hear perhaps but yes, 47, the tree that has to reach deep into spiritual waters due to confinement. to me this felt to be about the ways I feel my own soul, creativity and love get trapped in a body and temperament and old wounds, blocked from expression.

47 <> 29
An image of your authentic self would be one of being embroiled in the undercurrents of the Ghost River (29) to the extent that it only meets with visions of oppression, limitations and isolation (47).

and a few days later: "am I unpleasant when I am myself?" (there's many reasons to think this though its a silly question)
30.3.5>25

im not sure if Yi is warning me of my own death or encouraging contemplation and acceptance of death itself in preparationfor loss. perhaps just appreciation for previous eras of life ending, although they felt "inadequate"

An important differentiation here is to remember that when being our 'true self' nothing is seen as unpleasant. It is only when we reside as our 'false self ' that an aroma of unpleasantness can be deemed to be present. I assume, therefore, with this perfectly valid question you are referring to the nature of your false self and it's perceived unpleasantness.

30<>25
When I am my false self I am plagued by disasters brought through the influence of the external world (25). Through high endeavour, these can be unmasked by shining a light on them and harvesting the gathering awareness (30).

30.3 - At the upper threshold of your inner world, there is a call to voluntarily clear the way of the things from which the stench of unpleasantness emanates. These things no longer serve you.
30.5 - Fully lament, show grief and mourn the loss of these faithful servants. Honouring their death in this way will open doors facing towards new horizons.

...or it might mean nothing like this for you.

Good Luck

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

30.3 - At the upper threshold of your inner world, there is a call to voluntarily clear the way of the things from which the stench of unpleasantness emanates. These things no longer serve you.
30.5 - Fully lament, show grief and mourn the loss of these faithful servants. Honouring their death in this way will open doors facing towards new horizons.

...or it might mean nothing like this for you.

Good Luck

thank you, my_key. will be chewing on this reading for awhile.

 

[Trojina]

I think the answers overall point you in the direction of very much living for now. I think the questions are somewhat bypassed in favour of that.

Taking your original post off Mykey's

I asked the Yi to show me an image of my authentic self.
47.4>29

not what anyone would want to hear perhaps but yes, 47, the tree that has to reach deep into spiritual waters due to confinement. to me this felt to be about the ways I feel my own soul, creativity and love get trapped in a body and temperament and old wounds, blocked from expression.

This isn't an image of your authentic self IMO it's going underneath that and suggesting you're believing things are way more convoluted than they are. Maybe you are thinking your authentic self is a very long way away and you must do all sorts of things to get to it or inhabit it....that would be the heavy lumbering carriage

'Coming slowly, slowly,
Confined in a bronze chariot.
Shame.
There is completion.'

So there's a slow process and many commentaries and my own experience suggest it need not be so laborious. A bronze chariot is heavy and cumbersome and can only move slowly. That is not any image of your authentic self though I cannot be sure what you mean by 'authentic self' I assume you mean the self that is not beset with insecurities/anxieties about who she is, she just is. This can be quite a tongue in cheek answer as can 30.3 also be.

Maybe from Yi's perspective we are here on this earth for an instant and we really need to focus on now, on what is to be enjoyed now since there is only now. There is no ideal self in the future somewhere. This answer reassures you you will get wherever you are going but you can be freer now, you can enjoy now and you can go after what you want with less formality. A bronze carriage is grand and heavy and not very fast but things can get lighter.

and a few days later: "am I unpleasant when I am myself?" (there's many reasons to think this though its a silly question)
30.3.5>25

im not sure if Yi is warning me of my own death or encouraging contemplation and acceptance of death itself in preparationfor loss. perhaps just appreciation for previous eras of life ending, although they felt "inadequate"

In a sense your question might be rephrased as 'am I only acceptable when I am the self others want me to be?'. And of course no one can be unpleasant without reactions from others that inform that they are so. It's an interesting question in the sense that if we could really truly be who we really authentically are and speak out from that how popular would we be? I imagine a good percentage of all interactions, even between friends, is filtered in order to be palatable to the other.

I don't think anyone is intrinsically unpleasant it is only the temporary behaviours they choose to adopt make them so. But as I said if we were to be 100% authentic with others there's no way they could find us pleasant all the time, there'd be times they'd find us unpleasant when we expressed our real preferences and so on. Keeping relationships going does at times require us to be inauthentic at times for the sake of it as in white lies. But no I don't think you can be unpleasant when you are yourself, unpleasant is only something you can be in relation to another's subjectivity.

To that question you got 30.3.5>25

'In the light of the setting sun,
If not beating a pot and singing,
Then you will be making the lament of great old age.
Pitfall.'
'Weeping tears like flowing streams,
Sad as if in mourning.
Good fortune.'

It's a very interesting answer since Yi almost contradicts itself in those 2 lines. First it acknowledges the clarity of your question(30). You asked this in a state of clear awareness of your mortality and your life and Yi is showing your feelings about these deeper philosophical themes.

30.3 invariably comes up as somewhat tongue in cheek - it's kind of saying 'There's life in you yet and if you don't live it you'll be like a very old person lamenting'. Actually I had this once for my elderly mum who I think thought she was about to die. She didn't. It's a line that's saying 'c'mon, shake a leg, get up and dance, bang a pot, celebrate the life you have right now, don't be sad'.....and then what's funny is line 5 says 'it's okay to be sad, it's good to cry sometimes because it actually clears the heart and brings clarity to you'.

I love this answer as I feel it so personal to you from Yi. Yi is one the one hand saying for you to just be who you are now, not to worry, dance, sing, beat a pot, don't worry about your authentic self being unpleasant, you really aren't here to worry about that as that is 'lamenting'...no need to lament. And then on the other hand it recognises there are real tears, real sorrows that need expressing in line 5. So I think it's saying rather than worry or lament too much about your authentic self being unpleasant (30.3) give more attention and space to your emotional well being, those times you lie and cry and do nothing. Your own sadness is what to take care of and to nurture and look after and in that sadness there is some clarity.

And 25 here again it really emphasises that this question is not for you to get entangled in at all. Don't worry. But Yi is honouring your tears, emotional tears, your heart rather than questions from a more existential or distanced point of view.

Also the change patterns 39/38 reflect that to me somewhat. Things feel hard(39) coming to the queston with a sense of obstruction and struggle. Making your way through by seeing it differently, perhaps with humour, from less of a 'great mission' frame of mind and more of a 'what shall I do this afternoon to enjoy my life a little bit'. In 38 one cannot make big bridges between things so one goes on with less controversial matters. It's the difference between 'Is my life worth living at all?' kind of thoughts and 'what's the best way to live my life today?' kind of thoughts. In both of these answers I feel Yi is suggesting you make it about today whilst acknowledging there is pain, there is weeping and these matter far more than if your authentic self is unpleasant.

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

I think the answers overall point you in the direction of very much living for now. I think the questions are somewhat bypassed in favour of that.

Taking your original post off Mykey's


This isn't an image of your authentic self IMO it's going underneath that and suggesting you're believing things are way more convoluted than they are. Maybe you are thinking your authentic self is a very long way away and you must do all sorts of things to get to it or inhabit it....that would be the heavy lumbering carriage

So there's a slow process and many commentaries and my own experience suggest it need not be so laborious. A bronze chariot is heavy and cumbersome and can only move slowly. That is not any image of your authentic self though I cannot be sure what you mean by 'authentic self' I assume you mean the self that is not beset with insecurities/anxieties about who she is, she just is. This can be quite a tongue in cheek answer as can 30.3 also be.

Maybe from Yi's perspective we are here on this earth for an instant and we really need to focus on now, on what is to be enjoyed now since there is only now. There is no ideal self in the future somewhere. This answer reassures you you will get wherever you are going but you can be freer now, you can enjoy now and you can go after what you want with less formality. A bronze carriage is grand and heavy and not very fast but things can get lighter.


In a sense your question might be rephrased as 'am I only acceptable when I am the self others want me to be?'. And of course no one can be unpleasant without reactions from others that inform that they are so. It's an interesting question in the sense that if we could really truly be who we really authentically are and speak out from that how popular would we be? I imagine a good percentage of all interactions, even between friends, is filtered in order to be palatable to the other.

I don't think anyone is intrinsically unpleasant it is only the temporary behaviours they choose to adopt make them so. But as I said if we were to be 100% authentic with others there's no way they could find us pleasant all the time, there'd be times they'd find us unpleasant when we expressed our real preferences and so on. Keeping relationships going does at times require us to be inauthentic at times for the sake of it as in white lies. But no I don't think you can be unpleasant when you are yourself, unpleasant is only something you can be in relation to another's subjectivity.

To that question you got 30.3.5>25

'In the light of the setting sun,
If not beating a pot and singing,
Then you will be making the lament of great old age.
Pitfall.'
'Weeping tears like flowing streams,
Sad as if in mourning.
Good fortune.'

It's a very interesting answer since Yi almost contradicts itself in those 2 lines. First it acknowledges the clarity of your question(30). You asked this in a state of clear awareness of your mortality and your life and Yi is showing your feelings about these deeper philosophical themes.

30.3 invariably comes up as somewhat tongue in cheek - it's kind of saying 'There's life in you yet and if you don't live it you'll be like a very old person lamenting'. Actually I had this once for my elderly mum who I think thought she was about to die. She didn't. It's a line that's saying 'c'mon, shake a leg, get up and dance, bang a pot, celebrate the life you have right now, don't be sad'.....and then what's funny is line 5 says 'it's okay to be sad, it's good to cry sometimes because it actually clears the heart and brings clarity to you'.

I love this answer as I feel it so personal to you from Yi. Yi is one the one hand saying for you to just be who you are now, not to worry, dance, sing, beat a pot, don't worry about your authentic self being unpleasant, you really aren't here to worry about that as that is 'lamenting'...no need to lament. And then on the other hand it recognises there are real tears, real sorrows that need expressing in line 5. So I think it's saying rather than worry or lament too much about your authentic self being unpleasant (30.3) give more attention and space to your emotional well being, those times you lie and cry and do nothing. Your own sadness is what to take care of and to nurture and look after and in that sadness there is some clarity.

And 25 here again it really emphasises that this question is not for you to get entangled in at all. Don't worry. But Yi is honouring your tears, emotional tears, your heart rather than questions from a more existential or distanced point of view.

Also the change patterns 39/38 reflect that to me somewhat. Things feel hard(39) coming to the queston with a sense of obstruction and struggle. Making your way through by seeing it differently, perhaps with humour, from less of a 'great mission' frame of mind and more of a 'what shall I do this afternoon to enjoy my life a little bit'. In 38 one cannot make big bridges between things so one goes on with less controversial matters. It's the difference between 'Is my life worth living at all?' kind of thoughts and 'what's the best way to live my life today?' kind of thoughts. In both of these answers I feel Yi is suggesting you make it about today whilst acknowledging there is pain, there is weeping and these matter far more than if your authentic self is unpleasant.

Wow thank you Trojina, I felt a real rush of humanity just from reading this.

Having been in this situation for so long that is unfriendly to emotional expression I seem to have forgotten how much grief pain and confusion is bottled up in here. That just needs released.

Worry/lament and actually weeping are different things entirely, the former is more mental, and where I've been stuck. A bit of clarity there. 30.3 and 30.5 aren't so contradictory after all perhaps....

30.5 makes me think of a Mexican song, Bailar y Llorar, dance and weep. Both from the heart.

Thank you for the personal response.