49.1.5>62 Will the truth ever come out?

[CuriousGeorge]

Hi team,

I'll try to keep this succinct, I had a slightly traumatic breakup last year whereby my partner of five years cheated with a close friend of mine for at least a few months, and when I finally caught them they convinced our group of friends that I had invented the whole thing in order to discredit them. I loved both of these people deeply and the circle of friends we shared were important to me as well, but I didn't have the energy to try to fight back so I moved to a different part of the city and tried to start a new life and find new friends. I'm enjoying my life now, I looked back on the experience and realized how much I had done in the relationship that was emotionally hurtful to my partner and neglectful to her needs, I don't feel unjustly treated by her but I do feel some injustice in how the situation played out and ended, mostly because the truth never came out and I never got any acknowledgement or validation of my hurt from the people I cared about. I sometimes feel the loss of those friends deeply and ask the Iching if I will ever get any of them back, I asked about one close friend in particular and got 23 unchanging, which is a pretty clear no, and then I asked if people would ever see the truth of what happened and I got

49.1.5>62

This one confuses me; most of the answers seem to indicate to me that losing these people was a necessary change for me and I need to embrace it and continue to focus on the personal development I've been able to undergo with less distractions, but it really feels shitty to me to leave that situation that way, and to have those friendships ended so abruptly. Is that what 49.1 is telling me? That I just need to accept feeling shitty about it? Any insight here would be appreciated.

 

[chingching]

49
On your own day you will be believed

49.1
bound with yellow ox hide - for me this line point to the inner process of believing yourself and holding on to the truth, letting neither a need to alter truth to show ones own innocence nor outside influence or opinion to alter the truth. It sounds like thats what you've been working on.

49.5
The great one changes like a tiger, when the moment arrives for the truth to be heard, you can pounce from slumber to stride in an instantaneous act of transformation.

23 uc, the splitting need to occur in its full process for wisdom and new beginnings to arrive, inherent in 23 uc is the loss that precedes grief, its sounds like there is a need to let yourself fully grieve the loss of this friendship, which means acceptance and feeling the pain of the loss and the whole process. In mythology we look at the Ceres story as the early understanding of grief, a part of which Ceres enters the cave to grieve, gets stuck and then mercury comes along (pan in another version) and gets her out of the cave. Might be good to take a journey, get some cave time, or if you've been in a cave of sorts already, it might be time to emerge again, move through the next phase of the process. I imagine from your words there is grief for the loss of all the friendships even if not as important as this particular one, and as well for your primary relationship ending as well.

Wishing you peace, resolution and wisdom for your journey :bows:

 

[diamanda]

What you've been through sounds very traumatic, not just slightly. You say that you loved those people deeply - it's a hard pill to swallow that they didn't love you back. The manner in which they ended the whole thing abruptly only when caught, and lied to all your friends about you (a smear campaign), points to common tactics of cluster Bs.

if people would ever see the truth of what happened 49.1.5 > 62
People like to be wrapped up in their own little cocoons - that includes you (49.1). Line 49.5 shows that a great person can undergo a spectacular and deep change, be brightly transformed. With resulting 62, I would say don't expect much. The overall cast, in relation to your question, sounds like a big transformation can happen - perhaps people will eventually see the truth. But they won't reach out to you, there won't be a tangible result. See how you can live line 49.5 within yourself - and don't worry about what others think. Victims of smear campaigns are advised to ignore the false accusations and accusers, and focus on being their best self. Be glad that those people are out of your life, keep them out of your life.

 

[CuriousGeorge]

Thank you both I really appreciate the insight! I imagine I will never get to post how this actually resolves here, which is part of what's frustrating. No real closure from any of it. And thank you, diamanda, I found out another old friend of mine from college had an almost completely identical situation to mine happen to her the year prior, and it was amazingly cathartic for both of us to share our experiences, and she sent me articles that had helped her about people who had been through gaslighting and smear campaigns which were new concepts to me. It was really helpful to see how others had gotten through it. Thanks again, y'all!