5.3 to 60 - Ended things with a man I'm in love with

[hereiam]

I asked "Did i make a mistake in leaving him?" and got 5.3 changing to 60. I get all the waiting and patience here but waiting for what?

Recently I ended it with a man I've been in love with for years and now I'm questioning my decision. The reason was due to all my hurt feelings of being on the receiving end of his saying he'd do something and didn't, be late in returning calls, or canceling at the last minute. He once again was late and I'd had enough. I could take no more. I felt like a low to no priority. He would say he was sorry but that was it. It always happens again. Also, we never spoke about the fact we were emotionally involved (not sexually or physically) years ago when we met and we were with other people. Please don't judge me. I learned from that.

I prayed deeply before I called him a few days ago. I was calm and non accusatory and non judgmental. But stated while I adored him I felt it was best we don't communicate anymore and he not contact me. I let him know how hurt I was by his behaviors toward me. I did this because I could not find it in me to deal with his non-dependability anymore. I miss him though. I've been working even more so on my own growth and spirituality and facing this wound of not feeling important enough or enough. So here I am wondering if leaving was the right thing to do? I am not trying to punish him but really to protect myself, my heart. To face my part in things, my triggers so they can be healed. I continue to pray every day.I don't know if we'll come together again down the road or what.

Can anyone help?
Thank you...

 

[Lavalamp]

The line I think says you are waiting for him in an unclear, muddy position. Someone is easily going to be hurt if you do not clarify things better. If he moves on, you will be shattered, you may seek to drown your sorrows as well and hurt him.

Personally - not in the line - I think you needed better communication, not less. It is not unusual to have the need to be number one in someone's life. But here you are trying to fill a hole in your heart with him, that you really need to fix yourself I think. It may have been better to ask him where you stand in his life, than saying you are done which comes off as a kind of ultimatum.

- LL

 

[diamanda]

I asked "Did i make a mistake in leaving him?" and got 5.3 changing to 60. I get all the waiting and patience here but waiting for what?

5.3 says "waiting in mud", which is what you've been doing with him.
Waiting for him to call and him not calling, waiting for him to do something and him not doing it, etc.
Things are stuck in the mud, also mud shows how bad you feel about it.

This "waiting in mud" that you've been doing with him "causes enemies to arrive".

60 = there's a limit to everything.

All in all: it was neither right nor a mistake on your part.
It all depends where one's boundaries lie.
Obviously he behaves as if he is an enemy. His manner of treating you is certainly not loving.
The fact that you felt you've had enough speaks for itself - your inner boundaries spoke to you.

 

[Lavalamp]

Or waiting in mud is where she is now.

- LL

 

[Tim K]

I felt like a low to no priority. He would say he was sorry but that was it. It always happens again

I know this feeling, although it was my sister who was ignoring me. No amount of talking peacefully or angrily helped. She is just this way.
I was fed up after 10 years of waiting in the mud and just got out of the flat, however my choice was limited so I moved in with grandma - it turned out great!

I think 5.3 says - you did the right thing, because waiting would have gotten you nowhere. Something had to be done, there should be a limit(60) on how much you can take/tolerate.
Also it says that being worried now is also pointless, move on if you can.

 

[hereiam]

Thank you all so so so much from the bottom of my heart. You are good! I would have never gotten that from reading the interpretations. I certainly could take no more and something had to give. I feel like this is how he is and it is a strong painful trigger for me. It's something I can't accept in him. I continue to pray and do my inner work.