53.3 Love advice - Where should I find love?

[flow111]

Hello!

I would love to have some feedback for this 53.3 hexagram advise.

I asked ICHING for advice " Where can I find love? " - - - meaning a new romantic courtship with mutual attraction.

I got 53.3 -> 20.

My backstory regarding this question is that I have tried online dating for months with not any significant success rather than talking and virtual or real life meeting new people - sometimes super interesting, sometimes blunt or even frustrating but mostly a waste of time

There was only an exception to this. I met a much younger guy with whom I felt genuinely attracted and really wanted to spend time with him and get to know him better. However he said that he viewed me as a friend even though he kept giving me mixed signals but I get along with it because I really like him as a person too, he is a kind and generous soul - even though a bit eccentric - and would not want to lose him from my life whatsoever.

This was my backstory or background thoughts when I felt the need to ask ICHING where should I find love, because I feel this one and the dating apps are dead ends for my desire of romantic - sexual intimacy and companionship.

However the line 53.3 suggest to stop wasting my energy on the wrong direction or person and let go. Okay I do that obviously but what is next?? Where should I focus my energy next? Any ideas?

When the wild goose lands on dry land where should she direct her wings to?

Thank you for your time!

 

[rosada]

I wonder if 53.3 - 57 is descriptive of your experience with the fellow whom you find intriguing? He's squelched the idea of romance (53.3) but you still would like to know him better (57). So perhaps this answer is encouraging you to explore this friendship more deeply, recognize the love that is here even if it's not your final answer and who knows? Maybe he has a friend...

 

[flow111]

I wonder if 53.3 - 57 is descriptive of your experience with the fellow whom you find intriguing? He's squelched the idea of romance (53.3) but you still would like to know him better (57). So perhaps this answer is encouraging you to explore this friendship more deeply, recognize the love that is here even if it's not your final answer and who knows? Maybe he has a friend...

Haha I have thought it in the past too! That you never know maybe I meet someone through him

However the 53.3 leads to 20 (contemplation) not 57 but I like your interpretation either way!

Thank you

 

[isacosmo]

I agree that Yi is calling "fruitless" your attempts, although 53 is just at the beginning!
[Oh, I am so frightened at the idea of meeting guys through apps! I have a close friend, she actually married the Tinder guy! And he is a very nice guy btw.]
Can I give you a tip? That's my sister's tip: write down what you want for you re. Relationship, then ask the Universe for someone who fulfills the requirements you wrote down. But try to be very especific as to the subtile, immaterial stuff (she forgot one little thing, and the guy was lacking that! ).

 

[flow111]

I agree that Yi is calling "fruitless" your attempts, although 53 is just at the beginning!
[Oh, I am so frightened at the idea of meeting guys through apps! I have a close friend, she actually married the Tinder guy! And he is a very nice guy btw.]
Can I give you a tip? That's my sister's tip: write down what you want for you re. Relationship, then ask the Universe for someone who fulfills the requirements you wrote down. But try to be very especific as to the subtile, immaterial stuff (she forgot one little thing, and the guy was lacking that! ).

Crazy thing is that I have already made this list you are referring to, some months previous meeting this particular guy - who wants to stay friends and giving me mixed signals but sweets ones. And guess what, he is pretty much what I asked for!

 

[Matali]

Hello,
53.3 – 20: I also think that line 3 corresponds to your relationship with your young friend. In my opinion, this sounds like advice not to delude yourself because there is a trap here: read the translations carefully. Listen to what this man tells you when he offers you only his friendship. That is the reality.

On the other hand, you have an indication in 20.3 the fan yao to know where to find love but it is not a magic answer either... although! Hexagram 20 is not an easy hexagram to pierce I find, but according to my lens, line 3 "Contemplate of my life, move forward-backward" speaks of our power of observation and alignment with what is happening, with the right people on our way or not. Know if the flow is right for you or not. Know what makes you feel good or not...

 

[isacosmo]

Crazy thing is that I have already made this list you are referring to, some months previous meeting this particular guy - who wants to stay friends and giving me mixed signals but sweets ones. And guess what, he is pretty much what I asked for!

So I guess you will need to feel relaxed, not anxious or demanding (these stuff disturb the Force heh), and see how the friendship develops!
So go girl!

 

[flow111]

Hello,
53.3 – 20: I also think that line 3 corresponds to your relationship with your young friend. In my opinion, this sounds like advice not to delude yourself because there is a trap here: read the translations carefully. Listen to what this man tells you when he offers you only his friendship. That is the reality.

On the other hand, you have an indication in 20.3 the fan yao to know where to find love but it is not a magic answer either... although! Hexagram 20 is not an easy hexagram to pierce I find, but according to my lens, line 3 "Contemplate of my life, move forward-backward" speaks of our power of observation and alignment with what is happening, with the right people on our way or not. Know if the flow is right for you or not. Know what makes you feel good or not...

Thank you for your reply

Going with the flow and feeling good is definitely my moto and flow as my nickname in this forum is not a coincidence!

After posting this question, I searched a bit further and found out the delay and get ahead of yourself ( rushing into or doing more) aspect of the 53.3. In a couple of websites the advise was to be patient and stop exceed oneself in an endeavour. After are it is 53, slow progress almost seeming like no progress at all but still steady one. It really stroke a cord in me!

Any comment about this aspect of 53.3 are more than welcome!

 

[flow111]

So I guess you will need to feel relaxed, not anxious or demanding (these stuff disturb the Force heh), and see how the friendship develops!
So go girl!

Haha thank you!!

I think that 53.3 also advises me something quite similar - not exceeding myself and be patient.

 

[rosada]

53.3 changes to 20. Yes. Duh. Thank you.

Anyway, just wanted to chime in on this advice to write down exactly what you are looking for in a partner and add that I had a girlfriend who tried that. She made a very specific list - like the color of car even! - and a couple of weeks later her neighbor's dog got out and she chased it down through the street until it ran into someone's backyard and there she met him! He fit every single item on her list! They had a brief fling before deciding they were better off being friends - and they have continued to be friends until this day 10+ years later. Curious how these various stories of writing down what people want in a relationship have manifested great affairs and friendships but not lasting love. Maybe love requires something magical...

 

[flow111]

53.3 changes to 20. Yes. Duh. Thank you.

Anyway, just wanted to chime in on this advice to write down exactly what you are looking for in a partner and add that I had a girlfriend who tried that. She made a very specific list - like the color of car even! - and a couple of weeks later her neighbor's dog got out and she chased it down through the street until it ran into someone's backyard and there she met him! He fit every single item on her list! They had a brief fling before deciding they were better off being friends - and they have continued to be friends until this day 10+ years later. Curious how these various stories of writing down what people want in a relationship have manifested great affairs and friends but not lasting love. Maybe love requires something magical...

Haha! Omg what a story! Definitely some food for thought there!

 

[professionalsky3]

53.3
You should wait for the right moment and not actively seek out a partner.

 

[rosada]

New thought:
53.3 is a horrific line. The man is conscripted and marched off to battle and most likely killed. The abandoned wife is pregnant but loses the child. She must fight off the men circling around her like wolves. I can't imagine a worse relationship situation..and yet this is the line you received as guidance for where to look for love. Trying to stretch my mind around this I'm now supposing the IC be saying saying something about the nature of the relationship. Maybe you recognize someone who seems so familiar they seem like someone from a past lifetime that got interrupted.

20. Watch for it!

 

[flow111]

53.3
You should wait for the right moment and not actively seek out a partner.

Hey! Thank you for your reply

After contemplating this line for 2 days I believe also that the advise here is wait, be patient and stop waisting energy - 100% agree with you!