54.6 > 38

[_notan_]

Hi all-

I've been lurking about for a time, and thought I'd pop back in with a reading:

Q: How should I deal with my anger at _ (my significant other)

Yi: 54.6 transforming to 38

54 The Marrying Maiden

The Judgement

The Marrying Maiden.
Undertakings bring misfortune.
Nothing that would further.

This would seem to be counciling patience. That I should avoid "undertakings" - at least until my anger clears.

The Image

Thunder over the lake:
The image of the Marrying Maiden.
Thus the superior man
Understands the transitory
In the light of the eternity of the end.

This seems to be reassuring me that my anger will clear/that because everything is transitory, dark times will pass and make way for "the light of the eternity of the end".

Six at the top means:
The woman holds the basket, but there are no fruits in it.
The man stabs the sheep, but no blood flows.
Nothing that acts to further.

Again- Counciling against action? I'm not sure I understand these words. The commentary talks about how the basket and sheep are parts of a marriage rite, so this is possibly talking about the marriage/relationship being a farce, or based on a ceremony that was empty of meaning?

38. K'uei / Opposition

The Judgement

Opposition. In small matters, good fortune.


The Image

Above, fire; below, the lake:
The image of Opposition.
Thus amid all fellowship
The superior man retains his individuality

.

As the resulting hex, this seems to be hinting at a future split? So I should avoid acting out on my anger for the moment so that I can enjoy the "good fortune" of a future split with my wife (retaining my individuality)? I'm having a hard time with this hex here. I guess that my issue is that the matters that are the stem of my anger are pretty far from being "small matters". Or is this saying that I'll be SOL in the big matters, but have good fortune with small matters (gee, thanks!).

Sometimes, when I do a reading, I have a hard time determinging who I should relate to in the text. For example, in 54, it talks of a young woman. The commentary talks about how this young woman would be part of a household with her husband and, likely, a mistress. Who am I here? Am I the young woman, the mistress or the husband? I suppose that it hardly matters, because the text seems to be counciling me not to make waves (I guess this makes me the maiden, eh?).


Nuclear Hex (from 54): 63. Chi Chi / After Completion

The Judgement

After Completion. Success in small matters.
Perseverance furthers.
At the beginning good fortune,
At the end disorder.
The Image

Water over fire: the image of the condition
In After Completion.
Thus the superior man
Takes thought of misfortune
And arms himself against it in advance.

I never really know how to ,look at the nuclear hex. In Ritsema/Karcher, they say that it is traditionally looked at as what I should not do. So I guess I should cast away thoughts of misfortune, and leave myself vulnerable?

 

[Trojina]

Seems to me you've assumed the Yi will support you in the direction of not being angry and in my view it isn't. I see this answer as saying your wish to avoid showing her your anger does nothing but evade real emotional issues between you - hmm so you're nice and calm but what you end up with is a sterile relationship. A woman with an empty basket and a man with meat but no blood. No blood no feeling IMO. And how dangerous is the anger that if you expressed it it would cause harm. Look at the fan yao 38.6 where you see a cartful of devils who turn out to be friends.

I think people assume ways the Yi is going to answer on how they think they should behave. IMO the Yi doesn't always conform to the saintly detachment some people assume it to promote.

By asking how to handle your anger I think the answer here, in this instance, says thats a kind of false act.

I could be wrong as always I'm not saying its telling you to go absolutely to the point of destructiveness, but if you are angry with your significant other i guess its best she knows about it if you want to remain emotionally alive to one another.

 

[_notan_]

Isn't the way I phrased the question important to the answer? When I say "How should I deal with my anger...?" and the resulting hex is counciling to avoid undertakings, this seems to be advising against acting on my anger.

I see your interpretation as being more common sense (anger shouldn't be held within) but I'm not seeing how you arrived at that as an interpretation of the text. I am new at this, so take this challenge as my way of trying to learn, and not as my way of arguing that you are wrong.

Are you, in essence saying that the response goes something like:

"Well, IF you hold your anger in (54, avoid undertakings) then you will have a relationship with no passion (changing 6th, empty basket, no blood) that will lead to single life (38 Opposition, retaining individuality)"

Again- I'm having a hard time with 38 as well. I'm not at all married to my interpretation here....

Thanks,

-tb

 

[Trojina]

Isn't the way I phrased the question important to the answer? When I say "How should I deal with my anger...?" and the resulting hex is counciling to avoid undertakings, this seems to be advising against acting on my anger.

I see your interpretation as being more common sense (anger shouldn't be held within) but I'm not seeing how you arrived at that as an interpretation of the text. I am new at this, so take this challenge as my way of trying to learn, and not as my way of arguing that you are wrong.

Are you, in essence saying that the response goes something like:

"Well, IF you hold your anger in (54, avoid undertakings) then you will have a relationship with no passion (changing 6th, empty basket, no blood) that will lead to single life (38 Opposition, retaining individuality)"

Again- I'm having a hard time with 38 as well. I'm not at all married to my interpretation here....

Thanks,

-tb

For me the way i phrase the question is only sometimes relevant, other times I kind of know intuitively how the Yi is answering and that isn't always according to how i phrased the question but generally addresses the real issues beneath my question. Doing that when looking at other peoples answers is a bit impressionistic yes - but its just my take on your answer thats all. Its my experience 54.6 points at something that is false and empty and pointless, so as you are asking about how to handle your anger I took it as well 'handling it' is an empty gesture. I never much focus on acting or not acting with 54 so I can't relate to that really.

I certainly don't think anything in your answer 'leads to a single life ' as you say. You are only asking about a little piece of your relationship so you have to scale the answer to fit the question. (unless of course you are at the end of the road with it)

Also personally with one line moving i don't pay much attention to the relating hexagram, besides which, as often discussed here, the relating hexagram does not have to mean the future, it is as much the context of the situation - hmm and some people don't even refer to it at all.

Anyhow if you have a feeling about how to interpret your answer its important you go with that. As far as I'm concerned when people share their ideas on readings here they are just giving their take on it for you to consider and its interesting to see how others view it.

Others here may see your answer quite differently - well I'm sure they will

Thinking over it more it could also be that a question about handling your anger doesn't really even begin to touch what the real problem is. If the whole situation is one of miscommunication (38) as in just not being on the same wave length as your partner, then just focusing on your anger issues is just too superficial an approach. Perhaps the anger you ask about here isn't the real issue at all.

 

[linerider]

I agree with what trojan is getting at, and I agree with you that you should be patient, but the most important message for you is that you should be honest and authentic when you confront your significant other.
When I get just 1 changing line I often go straight to that changing line's text because usually the yi picks out the primary hexagram in order for me to see that line's comment. So if I were you I would meditate on that line and compare translations until you can apply it to your life. Don't take the part about the marriage literally, think conceptually.

 

[willowfox]

Q: How should I deal with my anger at _ (my significant other)

54.6 transforming to 38

This suggests that holding in your anger will be of no benefit to you, it suggests that you fully express your feelings, otherwise you will be living a lie.

Hex 38 suggests a disagreement within your relationship, so you really need to talk it out with him, do what needs to be done.

 

[_notan_]

Thanks all for your input. Expressing my anger makes a lot more sense than withholding it, so I was a bit confused as to how to look at the response.

I can see that I have a lot more to learn about how to interpret Yi responses- it's really just something that I'm only now starting to take seriously.

I have lots of other questions, but can't really seem to find a way to voice them at this moment.

-tb