Almost crying at work 23.6 to 2

[deepstillwater]

I've been working very hard at a design studio as a junior, and doing my very best (and producing some good work).

I've been putting together a presentation,with four direction proposals with logotypes, applications etc and gotten a lot of feedback regarding changes etc from the creative director. I think his changes have helped transform them into something much better... Im grateful for the feedback. It has been overwhelming though, the extent of work I have been asked to do. I'm battling as hard as I can!

Tonight, before I sent through the requested changes to the creative director I showed a senior creative who spent a lot of time picking up art one of the marks and suggesting major changes ... I was grateful for the attention on my project and actually I think I have learnt a lot from what he said but I was plunged into utter despair. At the end of a long long day I was needing to spend HOURS amending a document to send through to an important person who wanted the file 4 hours ago! I felt tears well up at my desk... But i kept them in.

Later, before I left I went up to the senior creative to thank him for his help, and to apologise if i seemed brusque before, as I just felt overwhelmed and felt like I I was back at the beginning again with this large project ... Really I said, that was the wrong approach As in fact this new mark was building on the first and far better.

I wanted to thank him as he spent time with me, and he is extraordinarily busy. It was a considerable sacrifice on his part.

His response was to try to offer praise... Which was not why I was bringing up the subject! I was not seeking pity... After a few minutes of talking I almost burst into tears. I ended the conversation quite quickly and left, crying as walked down the street.

I was worried that after my attempt to be thankful to him I had really blotted my copybook in the studio. One must be friendly, happy and alway up beat in a design studio!

I asked how does x view me with regards to that situation? 23.6 > 2

I'm not sure if the large unbeaten fruit is the praise or the large unfinished project. Any thoughts fellows chingers?

Times are tough, but the tough keep going. I will.... Tomorrow

 

[kkappa]

Sorry to hear of your stress! I think more than anything, he just saw how you showed yourself as a person by crumbling under all this stress, but that you'll have the strength to get through this regardless.

 

[ginnie]

I asked how does x view me with regards to that situation? 23.6 > 2

You've been given the vehicle that will carry you out of difficulties and to a successful conclusion to that project. Being teary eyed is not important in the larger scheme of things. Crying may represent to you the loss of some degree of self-control, but don't put too much emphasis on this.

 

[TygerChild]

I think this is about being nudged to grow by being brought towards the realisation that your inner resources and wisdom are the greatest! The pain and struggle involved both because of your enormous and dedicated effort and because you did not receive the kind of support or affirmation you most deeply desired can, if you choose, enable you to develop in far more important ways than this circumscribed event. Our most natural instinct is to seek to please (goes back to parent-child relationship) and to be appreciated and when this response is not forthcoming, or fails to hit the mark in some way, it can be very upsetting. However, it also directs us back t ourselves and the most important thing: our own evaluation of ourselves. Your tears are really about the pain of 'not being met', of the frustration of not getting the fulfilment we all yearn to find outside of ourselves but that is really inside ourselves. We generally only find that 'happy contentment' when we have given up hope of ever finding it via others. Hence the 'stripping away'. There may have been more complex motivations going on in the 'senior creative' than you realised and his reactions may have had more to do with him than with you, and in my opinion (very respectful and humble this is)....you sound a very talented designer/artist; your bosses are squeezing the life out of you, and......you are working TOO HARD!

 

[deepstillwater]

Thank you Kkappa, Ginnie and wisewoman for your thoughtful responses.

Wisewoman what you wrote really struck a chord. Since I made that casting I have learnt by experience (and from more experienced creatives) that the creative process is blocked if you are stressed or overwhelmed. That it is important for yourself and for the work to let go of the stress, and not get stuck in worry or time pressure. Stripping away what is not helping! Thanks once again