Am I worse at reading people than I thought? 36uc

[floranova]

I've had some experiences in the recent past that have made me feel like my ability to sense how people feel and their intentions is actually a lot weaker than I originally thought. Now I feel like I'm just going around making up stories in my head and making a fool of myself. To be fair, I could still have had accurate impressions in some of those situations, but I'll most likely never find out for sure.

This reading could mean 2 things. If I want to stay on the safe side, I would say 1) yes, my ability to see clearly is weak. Then there's the answer I *want* to be the case, 2) these experiences have wounded my trust in the ability I have but don't prove that the ability is weak, just that it wasn't tangibly affirmed.

I mean, the brightness isn't extinguished, it's wounded or hidden, right? I'm just so terrified of deluding myself so that's why I bring this reading here. I need the cold hard truth. Thank you guys

 

[Marinaflsenda]

Hi Froranova, as per my understanding, Hexagram 36 deals with a situation in which the person's capacity for action is hindered, totally or partially. I think the meaning of the hex itself contains already your answer.

It is not the adverse moment for any undertaking; it is about the personal situation of the subject of the consultation, which can range from partial hindrance to the total annulment of the subject.

The oracle says that, during a great adversity, such as this one, the only right thing to do is to remain firm and faithful to one´s ntuition, to one's principles, to one's desires, but hiding from others one's true capabilities and intentions.

If you are concern about the future, the prediction is not to act openly, not to reveal oneself, not to show all that one knows, but not to deviate from the planned course either: simply to act with reserve, in the dark.

I don´t know if this is what you intuition tells you, but it´s what the hex tells to me.

Best.

 

[floranova]

Hi Froranova, as per my understanding, Hexagram 36 deals with a situation in which the person's capacity for action is hindered, totally or partially. I think the meaning of the hex itself contains already your answer.

It is not the adverse moment for any undertaking; it is about the personal situation of the subject of the consultation, which can range from partial hindrance to the total annulment of the subject.

The oracle says that, during a great adversity, such as this one, the only right thing to do is to remain firm and faithful to one´s ntuition, to one's principles, to one's desires, but hiding from others one's true capabilities and intentions.

If you are concern about the future, the prediction is not to act openly, not to reveal oneself, not to show all that one knows, but not to deviate from the planned course either: simply to act with reserve, in the dark.

I don´t know if this is what you intuition tells you, but it´s what the hex tells to me.

Best.

Would it be reasonable to say I am able to read people but that I should avoid behaving as if I can? Don't react to what I see, but rather put it in my pocket and continue on like I didn't notice?

 

[Marinaflsenda]

Would it be reasonable to say I am able to read people but that I should avoid behaving as if I can? Don't react to what I see, but rather put it in my pocket and continue on like I didn't notice?

Exactly, that´s what I think.

 

[moss elk]

I've had some experiences in the recent past that have made me feel like my ability to sense how people feel and their intentions is actually a lot weaker than I originally thought.

Food for thought:
When a person is 36-ing, they are hiding their intentions. Some people are very good at this. When someone is very good at it, they are hard to read, some times impossible to read.

 

[floranova]

Food for thought:
When a person is 36-ing, they are hiding their intentions. Some people are very good at this. When someone is very good at it, they are hard to read, some times impossible to read.

I don't know if I'm supposed to do this but I did another reading asking "36 in what sense? Other people's brightness or my own?" And got 47uc. Could that mean my own? I have been very depressed and isolating myself due to these experiences. Hopefully I'm not pulling a hex 4 and asking too many questions

 

[Trojina]

I certainly wouldn't worry about not being good at reading people, people can be obscure, tricky and not reveal their intentions. 36 might indicate you have been hurt through this. In any case there is no cause for self recrimination because you couldn't see someone's motivations. I personally don't think one ever gets this totally right, not ever, we aren't mind readers of one another, well sometimes but it's very difficult. I often think surely I must have come across all the kinds of behaviours there are from people by now but I can assure you I still am taken aback by how far off the mark I can be.


47 I imagine is you being down on yourself here. I don't think you should spend any more time worrying about this. I don't mean stop writing about it of course but I have 90 year olds in my life who still puzzle over 'why did he do that?' and even 'was that all in my head?'. People are complex and they only show us what they can or what they choose to and in turn we can only see bits of them at a time, only see bits of the picture at a time and of course we are conditioned by past experiences with others. It's all fascinating and also difficult, a source of pleasure and of pain.

Another possibility with 36 is one doesn't let oneself know that one knows. Sometimes people know quite well deep down for example that another is cheating or something but they conceal it in their own minds, brush it under the carpet for self protection.

 

[floranova]

I certainly wouldn't worry about not being good at reading people, people can be obscure, tricky and not reveal their intentions. 36 might indicate you have been hurt through this. In any case there is no cause for self recrimination because you couldn't see someone's motivations. I personally don't think one ever gets this totally right, not ever, we aren't mind readers of one another, well sometimes but it's very difficult. I often think surely I must have come across all the kinds of behaviours there are from people by now but I can assure you I still am taken aback by how far off the mark I can be.


47 I imagine is you being down on yourself here. I don't think you should spend any more time worrying about this. I don't mean stop writing about it of course but I have 90 year olds in my life who still puzzle over 'why did he do that?' and even 'was that all in my head?'. People are complex and they only show us what they can or what they choose to and in turn we can only see bits of them at a time, only see bits of the picture at a time and of course we are conditioned by past experiences with others. It's all fascinating and also difficult, a source of pleasure and of pain.

Another possibility with 36 is one doesn't let oneself know that one knows. Sometimes people know quite well deep down for example that another is cheating or something but they conceal it in their own minds, brush it under the carpet for self protection.

A big lesson I've learned lately is not to take action based on someone's subtle cues and to go more based on what they express openly. Even if there *was* something there and they're hiding it, there's no proving what you saw. On top of that, sometimes I feel like when I pick up on something, I have no way of knowing if it has anything to do with me personally or if they were just in a certain mood due to something else. You can determine very general things based on someone's posture/tone of voice/facial expressions/word choice but if I try to guess *exactly* what it meant, that's where I need to take a step back. I guess it's not fair of me to want to he able to do that when I hide my own feelings for dear life all the time We're all flawed and scared of being seen that way huh?

 

[marybluesky]

You are pretty young floranova so no wonder if you don't see through people as you expect yourself. It happens to older people too.

36 uc for your question sounds like there are matters hidden to you, or the ones you don't see still well.

 

[Catela]

As a therapist I get to hear a lot about people's insides, their intentions and how they express them or don't outwardly. I want to endorse everything Trojina said.

Our knowledge of each other (and ourselves, including our own motivations) is always partial. Some of us really want to know. (I'm one of those people). And it's a journey to come to accept how much uncertainty and ambiguity exists in all experience, and especially in relationships with others.

It's possible for us to be well-connected to our intuition and still not know what's *really* going on inside of other people. And also, it's changing all the time. As you suggest, maybe we read anger in someone but what it really is is irritability because they're tired or hungry or they just had a sad thought about the past. What's going on with other people is most often not about us at all. And so our intuition is best applied to what's going on with us, sussing out our needs and wants, which way we might want to go.

It's true sometimes our intuition will tell us a situation or person is not safe. And it takes some practice to differentiate anxiety from intuition in those situations, but that's a longer topic.

I think it's a good rule of thumb to not act towards people based on your imaginings or guesses about what's going on with them, but rather to trust that they can take care of themselves and ask for what they want or need, just as you can. One of the benefits of moving through the world that way is that we won't tend to attract people who mainly want to be taken care of because they can't take care of themselves.

If something feels important to understand about another person, then we can ask them. This asking will go better if it can come from a place of nonjudgmental curiosity rather than needing-to-know from a place of fear. There are no guarantees that they will be able to say what's going on with them, or that they will tell us the truth if they do know.

As you note, in social situations people will often protect themselves, which is totally understandable. The less people feel they need to protect, the more intimacy is possible. I'm not sure I have this right, but I hear you asking "how can I feel safe out there if I can't trust my intuition about what's going on with people in any given moment?" If I have that right, then I'd say, your safety comes from a different place, one that doesn't depend on needing to know precisely what's going on inside someone else.

Maybe we are all "brightness hidden" in the sense that out in the social world, we all hide our light to some extent in order to protect it from potential harm. We all need some defenses in order to function out in the world. So maybe 36 is to say, "this is all okay, you don't have to reveal all of yourself and they don't have to reveal all of themselves." We all do this self-protection as a result of past injuries. From Wilhelm, "He veils his light, yet still shines."

We don't get perfect knowledge or perfect safety or perfect sharing, but we all still get to shine, and to keep learning how to shine, while still taking care of ourselves.

I read 47 maybe as saying this whole process of trying to find safety by guessing about what's going on in other people is suffocating and exhausting. Where is the room for you to relax into being you if you have to be vigilant about what's going on for other people?