Assistance requested with a hexagram series with which I am having difficulty

[xhepera20]

I would appreciate some help with interpreting 3 pairs of hexagrams I got in recent readings regarding the same situation.

Background: I have a friendship that started out as a casually intimate relationship with a bisexual man (I am also male). Over the course of a few months we discovered quite a lot in common of a spiritual nature. This didn't surprise us because we noted a spiritual connection from the very beginning, in addition to the physical. I've also been using my editing skills to clean up some manuscripts for him that he has for a wesite that he is creating.

He has always had a very hectic work and personal schedule, with odd hours and constantly on-call. Recently (past couple of weeks) he seems to have withdrawn. He has been very apologetic about being out of touch (citing being spread thin by work, work hours, family and others needing things, etc.) but has sent me no editing or made any move to want to meet. The odd thing is that this change began immeditaely after he confessed to me that I was the first guy that he had been in a relationship with with whom he didn't feel remorseful, resentful or uncomfortable, and that it was certainly the most erotic relationship he had been in with a male. He went on to say that he was incredibly comfortable with me and that he was aware of a special energy between us that was for him a "blessing and universal connection). SO, as you might imagine, I am completely at a loss to understand what has happened pretty much literally overnight.

When I asked the I Ching what I should do in regard to the relationship, I received: 36.6 > 22

Nine days later, when I asked what my next move regarding the relationship should be, I received: 59.3.4 > 44

Three days after that, after thinking about the meaning of the lines in 59, I thought that I would edit one of the articles that had not yet been touched and present it as a "gift" related to our common work. I had already told him that my continuing to help him with the website was not contingent on the other facet of our relationship. I did think, however, to consult the I Ching on the advisability of doing so. I asked what effect my editing the article would have on the relationship.

I received: 23 3.4.5 > 33

I have now quite confused myself and feel that the I Ching is saying to still "do nothing." And that doing what I had planned will have unfortunate consequences. Would this be an accurate assessment? I'm very grateful for any insight. Thank you!

 

[mirian]

what I should do in regard to the relationship, I received: 36.6 > 22

I asked what my next move regarding the relationship should be, I received: 59.3.4 > 44

I thought that I would edit one of the articles that had not yet been touched and present it as a "gift" related to our common work. I asked what effect my editing the article would have on the relationship. I received: 23 3.4.5 > 33 !

Dear xhepera20,

Just to share some ideas; not a comprehensive interpretation but a look into some aspects of your hexagrams and lines that might help you to understand your readings.

Hex 36 talks about those tough times in life when we are deeply affected by adverse circumstances. It represents dark forces taking control and there are references to wounds in the lines, so we do get hurt. One possible interpretation is that there is an "evil element" in this scenario, in practical terms a person that cause harm to others. But could also just represent the life cycle, in which good times follow bad times and vice versa. Your changing line is 6, at the top, showing that the dark time is coming to an end.

Hexagram 59 comes into play to disperse and dissolve. So, all the boundaries as you know them will be moved away, the structures that you were familiar with will not exist any more, which, of course, leaves with a bit lost, you do not really know where you are, where you stand in the situation. So, likewise you need to disperse your feelings, emotions, rational thoughts as well and adapt yourself to the flow. This process of dispersing can also lead to connections being lost and bonds being broken. But your changing line 4 tells us that if a relationship is broken you will connect to other people, so in fact nothing is lost. The relating hexagram 44 represents a powerful element of seduction, sometimes described as a "woman that you cannot marry". So, this is not a conventional relationship, you cannot control or try to get this person into some form of long-term, solid relationship.

Having said all that, in the end you got Hex 23.3.4.5 as the answer to your question about how keeping your work together would impact on the relationship itself. Well, Hex 23 is stripping off the whole situation, it is like peeling all the layers of this relationship, so it is taking all the old off, everything that you knew is being taking off to create something new and different. My impression, because of changing line 5, is that if you do what you plan (to give the edited article as a "gift") you would reconnect again. But the relationship that would possibly be re-created would be on a completely different basis, in different conditions.

So, as I said, hope that you can make some sense of that.:bows:

 

[xhepera20]

Dear xhepera20,

Just to share some ideas; not a comprehensive interpretation but a look into some aspects of your hexagrams and lines that might help you to understand your readings.

. . .

So, as I said, hope that you can make some sense of that.:bows:

Dear Mirian, thank you so very much for your thoughts on some of the aspects of the hexagrams and lines I received. Some things you said have given me a much clearer perspective on what the I Ching is telling me, particularly in regard to Hexagram 44.

I have decided to do nothing for now, as this seems the wisest course of action. At least I think that is what is being counseled by "Retreat." I think that what bothers me most, aside from the apparent loss of my friend, is not understanding what happened. As you said, it is best to "Disperse" my feelings, thoughts, etc. and go with the flow for now. Difficult. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong, what I might have said or done, etc. to cause this. As I noted above, the change came literally "overnight." I got that email and that was the last communication that I've not instigated, and I've not seen him since.

Once again, thank you for your kindness in helping me to understand the I Ching's counsel. It's deeply appreciated.

 

[mirian]

I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong, what I might have said or done, etc. to cause this. As I noted above, the change came literally "overnight."

Dear xhepera20,

There is absolutely nothing in your readings to suggest that what happened has anything to do with whatever you have said or done. Hex 23 does take effect regardless of your actions and efforts and so does Hex 59. If you put these two hexagrams together and look at the big picture you can see that there is nothing that you could have possibly done to avoid the sequence of events.

As I believe, according to your readings, you are not actually losing anything. Everything happened to re-shape your relationships, strip old stuff to bring the new, re-connect you with either to this person again (but in different conditions -Hex 23.3.4.5) or to expand your circle of friends, to bring new people into your life. You might not see that right now, but what your readings are showing is a change for the better.

I agree with you about Hex 33, you don't fight a lost battle, you retreat as an act of self-preservation.

Take care:bows:

 

[bamboo]

It would seem to me that you are completely right to retreat. In looking at your readings, I get the feeling that Yi is showing you what happened....that perhaps in spite of the good feelings your friend felt with you, his angst and discomfort about his own issues, maybe his sexuality, returned ( The 36 reading seems to suggest this.) I seriously doubt it is anything you did or said that made him back away. The Yi seems to advise you to respect his distance until he has sorted out his confusion. if anything, it seems he might be afraid of how powerful your connection was. I also suspect that he will return if you give him the space he needs.