Can I trust in our agreement 44.3.6 > 47

[lightafterdarkness]

Hi everyone,

I asked the I Ching about whether I can trust someone on an agreement we made. 44.3.6 > 47

It is a sensitive matter so I'd rather not elaborate, but the question is related to having to trust someone with something I'd rather not; however I have no other option.

Personally I interpreted it as the I Ching telling me that it is my own inexperience and lack of attention that lead to the situation (44) but it is good to be mindful and aware of the danger and keep the person on my good side (line 4) and to take this as a learning experience to make sure I am not humiliated by something again (Line 6) changing to 48, perhaps ultimately meaning I don't have to worry?

Thoughts?

 

[breakmov]

Hello lightafterdarkness

Can I trust in our agreement 44.3.6 > 47​

There is no space for trust, possibly this stems as a consequence of the situation that led to your question. But it opens up space for responsibility and pragmatism... Is there a way to not just rely on the "agreement" you were forced into?... There's also always the possibility of standing your ground, regardless of the consequences.

breakmov

 

[lightafterdarkness]

Hello lightafterdarkness



There is no space for trust, possibly this stems as a consequence of the situation that led to your question. But it opens up space for responsibility and pragmatism... Is there a way to not just rely on the "agreement" you were forced into?... There's also always the possibility of standing your ground, regardless of the consequences.

breakmov

Hi Breakmov,

Unfortunately there's not. I did contact the person about the matter and they were understanding and came with a proposal; which would still involve me just having to trust on that, since there's no other way. I wasn't forced into anything, I just didn't think things through and later regret my decision.

 

[Trojina]

Personally I interpreted it as the I Ching telling me that it is my own inexperience and lack of attention that lead to the situation (44) but it is good to be mindful and aware of the danger and keep the person on my good side (line 4) and to take this as a learning experience to make sure I am not humiliated by something again (Line 6) changing to 48, perhaps ultimately meaning I don't have to

Line 4 ? You didn't cast line 4 did you? You have said the reading is 44.3.6>47 so I'm guessing you writing 'line 4' here is a typo?

I wouldn't agree the message of 44 is that your 'own experience and lack of attention led to the situation'....I'm puzzled by that as that sounds a bit more like 4 than 44.

44 is an intrusion of some kind upon you. Not always a bad kind of instrusion but it's something that can pull you off your normal path. The opposite/complement of 44 is 24 where one returns to base, this pulls you off base. It's not something you 'handle' as in control or direct, indeed it often pays to check out how you might be being manipulated whether consciously or unconsciously by another.

Here's a 44 kind of example.

You have your week planned, you know what you want to do and that involves getting some work done, looking after yourself, getting enough rest, eating better....and then you get an email or a phone call from an old friend saying 'hey I'm in town show me the sights...I'm only here for a few days' with the implication 'you must fit me in to your plans'. This could be a pleasant thing but this is someone who despite being a friend has always really expected you fit in with them. It's not a bad situation but it is an intrusion into your usual rhythms of life. Sometimes that intrusion can be enlivening, sometimes it just pushes you where you don't want to go.

'Coupling, the woman is powerful.
No use to take the woman.'

Either way it's not a lasting way of life although sometimes 44 as an interlude can change your life.

So if this is an agreement, a promise of a kind, I wouldn't take it as something to hold to especially with 47 as the relating hexagram where it specifically says 'words cannot be trusted'

'Confined, creating success.
Constancy of a great person, good fortune.
Not a mistake.
There are words, no trust.'

I wouldn't generally take the relating hexagram as a guide to action but it is there, it is the backdrop, it seems heavy and unrewarding. So are you being manipulated into something that feels heavy and unrewarding?


Line 3 is about hard labour, serving someone or something to the deficit of one's own self. This has to be worth it either for a good cause or for love and duty

'Buttocks without flesh,
Moving awkwardly now.
Danger.
No great mistake.'

The line follows the story of Yu the great who worked so tirelessly to control the floods he wasted away.
It's not wrong to do this if there is a worthy cause. Is there a worthy cause?


Line 6 I tend to find comes up when one actually 'susses out' the nature of this intrusion and chooses whether to play or not

'Coupling, your horns.
Shame.
Not a mistake.'

It can be hard looking at this head on, using one's horns to penetrate it but it is not a mistake to do so.

I wasn't forced into anything,

The readings says different perhaps? Perhaps you were manipulated into it ?

Either way I can't see it as a place for whole hearted trust. One might choose to go along with it for the 'sake of' something but one needs to be wise to the costs to oneself to decide if it is worth the sacrifice.


Change patterns are 52/58 and so I would see this as suggesting you need not see this as a final agreement. The fact it looks as if it has solidified (52) into an agreement, 'kept still'/frozen' as an agreement is not necessarily something to believe in here since the way through in the yin pattern 58 is open to further negotiation.

Not knowing the situation I can't tell how realistic it would be for you to discard this as any kind of final agreement but I don't think from the reading you need feel bound or oppressed by it. You can look again, you can not believe in it and you can possibly say you don't believe in it...unless it is a binding legal agreement or something.

 

[breakmov]

Is there any type of prior "commercial contract" that prevents you from having control over your image?

...if this is the case, then really 44.3.6 -- 47 shows the situation of confinement, without being able to do anything, in this "encounter with an unexpected result".

...it remains at least the hope that this " situation of confinement of your will" allows you to consider a way to include clauses in the contract in the future that contemplate deadlines for a final decision on your image, without regrets, and that allows you to be more protected in situations like this.

breakmov

 

[Trojina]

Hi Trojina, it indeed was a typo.

To elaborate on the matter, I did a photoshoot with someone and afterwards checked the pics. They looked fine, others were horrible but I just told him not to publish them and he agreed. It's been months and he hasn't published anything, not even the ones I agreed with. However by having them sent and inspecting them more thoroughly, I noticed a bit of nudity was visible and I feel uncomfortable with it. I also felt okay with him shooting pics of me in a certain manner that in hindsight I don't feel comfortable with, but at the time I guess I wasn't thinking things through properly and just felt like it was fine. The photographer proposed to delete them but of course this is not something I can control or make sure. I just have to trust him with it. He did work with many other women and I got recommended by a friend and noticed him working with others I know, we met up a few times and he was very open, kind and respectful of my boundaries. However he also works with nudity etc and his way of doing things in hindsight doesn't 100% sit right with me.

I don't understand why you give the detail after interpretations and make no reference to the interpretations given. You had two interpretations but don't refer to them at all or offer any feedback on them in any way you just give more detail of your situation that would have helped if you gave it in the first place

You said you couldn't elaborate in the first post so I wrote a long general answer but you don't appear to have read it you just go on to talk more about the situation but with no reference to interpretations offered and how they might fit ?

 

[lightafterdarkness]

I don't understand why you give the detail after interpretations and make no reference to the interpretations given. You had two interpretations but don't refer to them at all or offer any feedback on them in any way you just give more detail of your situation that would have helped if you gave it in the first place

You said you couldn't elaborate in the first post so I wrote a long general answer but you don't appear to have read it you just go on to talk more about the situation but with no reference to interpretations offered and how they might fit ?

At first I didn't feel comfortable sharing but after giving it some thought and reading your interpretations, I thought maybe it was valuable to share a bit more about the situation and just sit with the discomfort. I feel a bit ashamed of my own naive actions.

I was taking some time to reflect on your general interpretations in the meantime before coming back to it.