Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
Step outside your official role. Be less formal, be more human. Have more allegiance to your fellow-humans, less to a central power (or your own importance as its representative).
Your understanding seems quite astute. I must say, I have often found the I Ching, during my own considerable family conflicts and crises, would appear to be speaking in the voice of the dominant family member.Thank you Foxx77! Your reply was very illuminating. In fact, my first reaction to Yi's response was precisely that: "This is a conversation intended for M. (the grandfather), not me." Then I dismissed that. But perhaps it's as you said, a response in the form of M.'s perspective? In that way, it makes sense. How often have you found this happening, personally, in asking the I Ching?
Also, thank you for making the link between his meddling and the divorces as well. I hadn't quite put it together, because on the surface there does not seem to be much discord in the family. My partner is the only one who has left the church (or even their hometown). But when I think about it, all of the failed marriages would probably never have come about in the first place without the grandfather's pressure. In the saddest case, my partner's uncle, a "cured" gay man, married a woman seemingly to prove his straightness. (Of course, it ended in divorce within a few years) Our marriage is not coming about out of any pressure from my partner's family (it's the only one not like that) but I'm still worried for the effect of his pressure on our union.
I asked the Yi just now, "What would come for my marriage with T. if we did not let M. do our wedding ceremony?" and received 3.3.4 -> 49. The Yi's reply is somewhat confusing but also startlingly clear... Am I right to think that he might be continuing to reply from the patriarch M.'s perspective? Line 3 is quite clear in stating that it is dangerous and ill-advised to go forth without a guide (whom I assume is the partiarch): "Whoever hunts deer without the forester/ Only loses his way in the forest./The superior man understands the signs of the time/And prefers to desist./To go on brings humiliation." The fourth line seems like a continued insistence on taking the help offered by M. (despite the attached strings that I am so uncomfortable with): from Wilhelm's commentary, "an opportunity to make connections offers itself. It must be seized. Neither false pride nor false reserve should deter us. Bringing oneself to take the first step, even when it involves a certain degree of self-
abnegation, is a sign of inner clarity. To accept help in a difficult situation is not a disgrace. If the right helper is found, all goes well."
Leading to Revolution, I assume means that if my partner and I follow through on having the wedding on our own terms, there will be a split between us and the family, and the loss of possibly much-needed help in the future (the "difficult situation"-- we are not, either of us, likely headed for lucrative careers.)
I'm still not sure how the Yi's response ties into my question about the actual impact on our marriage. My main worry is that going through with this Christian thing we don't believe in will somehow doom us as a couple. Is Yi saying that our ties to family/tradition/the patriarch should trump our own personal (perhaps, from Yi's perspective, self-indulgent) attempts to define our lives for ourselves on the spiritual level? I have been using the I Ching for years, but I have never encountered a dynamic between me and Yi quite like this.
I humbly thank anyone who reads this and has an opinion.
'Following.
Creating success from the source, harvest in constancy.
No mistake.'
Meng, I also think you make some important points. The name of Jesus Christ is fine with me, and I think my partner could stomach it. But I do not like the fire and brimstone aspects of the patriarch's faith (his sermons are big on eternal damnation...).
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).