Haunting memories

[martinus]

55/ 2 and 6 / resulting in14
I'm nearly 70 now - and certainly it's quite natural that one's own past says "hello".
The question however: how to deal with haunting memories - what went wrong,
"shame on me" etc. This has become a real problem. There's hardly a day when
I'm not confronted with what went totally wrong in my life. Well, in a way
the greater part of my life was in accordance with what one generally is supposed to do-
job, family, children ... and even my wife doesn't seem to realize what's going on with me.
But there's the feeling that a lot went wrong, that I failed especially with respect to friends,
relatives, colleagues...

55/2 talks about hiding oneself - while having to face doubts and sorrow (?)
The "curtain" mentioned in 55/2 refers to the darkening of light during the day.
I don't really understand 55/6 - it means being constantly separated, estranged? Indeed,
being retired, not many contacts I used to have seem to have survived.
But I do not really know what 14 may mean with respect to the problems I mentioned... ?
- I hope all this doesen't sound too confusing

 

[Matali]

Yi reassures you with 55 : don't be sad, you must be like the sun!
14 and 55 are hexagrams of abundance, wealth... you have certainly worked a lot and taken care of your family. The two lines show that you focused on your life and that others did not have access to it, or something like that. But your life is not over!! To get out of your haunting memories, you can quite go to those who need it..
Past is over and it will never change.
It is in the present moment that we can create new things...

 

[martinus]

Hi Matali,
thank you so much - this is really encouraging. Indeed, life's not over yet -
and there's a lot that can be done. People I may support. Actually I've always been rather
critical with myself - instead of seeing that quite a lot has been accomplished. Thx for refering to the two lines!

 

[diamanda]

how to deal with haunting memories 55.2.6 > 14

There are a lot of things you don't know, things that have been kept hidden from you. When you feel "what if", "shame", etc., there are things you simply don't know - there are too many hidden people and factors involved in the situations that are haunting you. 55.6 says you didn't really want to know those things either, you sort of turned a blind eye.
Hidden line 34.6 says that you're totally stuck on this. Can't go forward and let go, can't go back and fix it either. It looks like you can't, at this stage, gain the full facts - you would need the full facts to deal with this, but it's not possible to have them.

14 speaks about stamping out evil, and spreading out kindness and what's good and right. It also speaks of enjoying one's riches (literal and metaphorical). Not sure how all this could be interpreted in your life.

 

[martinus]

Hi Diamanda,
Thx for respnding.- MayI ask how one gets to 34/6 from 55/2.6 ? I hope I'm not being stupid asking that...

 

[michuco]

Hi Martinus,

Personally I think that I Ching was meant to help you in choosing your options responding to external simulations. It is ill-suited for exploring your internal psyche.

Cheers,

Michuco

 

[Trojina]

Hi Martinus,

Personally I think that I Ching was meant to help you in choosing your options responding to external simulations. It is ill-suited for exploring your internal psyche.

Cheers,

Michuco

Of course it isn't ill suited for exploring one's psyche, what a peculiar thing to say

 

[Trojina]

55/ 2 and 6 / resulting in14
I'm nearly 70 now - and certainly it's quite natural that one's own past says "hello".
The question however: how to deal with haunting memories - what went wrong,
"shame on me" etc. This has become a real problem. There's hardly a day when
I'm not confronted with what went totally wrong in my life. Well, in a way
the greater part of my life was in accordance with what one generally is supposed to do-
job, family, children ... and even my wife doesn't seem to realize what's going on with me.
But there's the feeling that a lot went wrong, that I failed especially with respect to friends,
relatives, colleagues...

55/2 talks about hiding oneself - while having to face doubts and sorrow (?)
The "curtain" mentioned in 55/2 refers to the darkening of light during the day.
I don't really understand 55/6 - it means being constantly separated, estranged? Indeed,
being retired, not many contacts I used to have seem to have survived.
But I do not really know what 14 may mean with respect to the problems I mentioned... ?
- I hope all this doesen't sound too confusing

I know something of what you're going through, happens to me too but Irfan quoted this the other day which I thought was brilliant

One of those big gurus, I forget which one, Osho or someone, once said "People talk about the past as though it's filled with endless possibilities and the future as though it's inexorable fate and set in stone. When in fact, it's exactly the other way around."

You're looking at the past as if it's more real than now and more real than the future but it isn't. 55 is the perfect reminder of that. The sun doesn't get fuller than it does at noon so make the most of this time now.

Remember all the choices you made you made in a less evolved state than you are now. You knew less and also it's quite likely you have forgotten exactly what it was like to be you, how you felt at those times you feel shame for.


In 55 everything has come to a head, there's no need to look for more evidence or more clarity even though that's fundamentally what you're seeking. Line 2 says from Hilary in wiki


'Feng is screened off.
With the sun at its highest, seeing the Dipper.
Going on gains doubts and anxieties.
With truth and confidence like shooting an arrow/ expressed [like Fa aka Wu],
Good fortune.'

There's an eclipse so you aren't really fully able to make clear evaluations of yourself at this time however something is pulling you forward(or backwards) to a new understanding. You see right now it may all look very murky but if you follow your inner remembering process through even though you can't see where it's going there's a gain, good fortune.



In line 6 someone hides away in mourning when they need to come forth. In my own experience I find actually often one can't come forth, the mourning seems to need to be gone through. In the story of the line if Wu stays in the mourning hut after the death of his father as tradition proscribes then it's a disaster as he needs to go into battle. Generally the advice for this line is not to hide and mourn and of course overall as Matali said the hexagram tells you not to be sad but to rejoice in the moment.

I think the 14 must show you are blessed to be going through this process even if it doesn't feel like it there's riches there. The yang change pattern is 4 and the yin pattern 49 so overall I think this is a transformative process you are going through in the dark. (Change patterns are found by making all change lines yang and then all change lines yin to see what hexagrams they make. No need to use these though it's just I like to)


I think this thing you are going through does have a purpose, stay with it, but also don't get lost in sadness (line 6) because it seems there is something beyond the sadness you are trying to reach (line 2) and that which lies beyond the pain of the regret is the blessing (14).

 

[diamanda]

Hi Diamanda,
Thx for respnding.- MayI ask how one gets to 34/6 from 55/2.6 ? I hope I'm not being stupid asking that...

Not 'stupid' at all. So in 55.2.6 > 14, if only 55.2 was changing, resulting hex would be 34. Then we look at the 6th line of 34. We still arrive at 14. This works (for me anyway, for additional insight) when there are two or three lines changing.

 

[Matali]

Nice fine analysis Trojina... in the depths ! How do you find the yin and the yang pattern ? Thanx

 

[martinus]

Thanks a lot - everybody, especially Trojina - whose quotation is really helppful/
I do know that it won't be so very easy radically change my view, my "addiction" to past matters and problems. But I'm sure I'll no longer be at the mercy of the past.
And thx to Diamanda too - concerning "34". Another good lesson for me.

 

[Trojina]

Also Martinus this could be a symptom of depression if it feels really addictive. I think the reading would be consonant with that also. I mean in line 2 one is struggling to a degree and line 6 could describe depression. That wouldn't negate my earlier interpretation, but if you find this is really getting on top of you you might consider you are suffering from depression and so treat yourself accordingly.

I had a friend who had major clinical depression and his first symptom was always obsessive thoughts about a past girlfriend. He didn't recognise it as a symptom at first but it was depression and the thoughts would go when he was on medication. I'm not suggesting you have that kind of depression, all I'm saying is be aware if the thoughts become really problematic, especially if you are continually negatively self evaluating, this might be a depression. There's still the 14 so there's a blessing in there somewhere, perhaps you have a lot to go through in your mind if your life has been quite full or eventful in relationships.

 

[martinus]

Hi Trojina,
It's obviously been a good thing to ask the I Ching and to insert its answer here. Actually, over the past months I've repeatedly asked myself whether it might be helpful to see a psychiatrist. One can be in a depression without really knowing it - it may sound strange, but that's what doctors will tell you. Anyway the response I've had here is really helpful - as you write "... there's still the 14..." I've decided to contact my doctor who's known me for nearly 20 years - she's Chinese and combines western medicine and TCM efficiently. Thanks again.

 

[michuco]

Of course it isn't ill suited for exploring one's psyche, what a peculiar thing to say

Hi,

There is nothing peculiar about this. Consider the number of books dedicated to the use of I Ching to explore human mind (I refer to the type of question in discussion here). Of the enormous I Ching bibliography, the number is similar to that of books making the connection between I Ching and quantum physics or DNA. Now, comparing this to the number of books that promote the use of I Ching as decision helper.

I am aware of Ouyi Zhixi's A zen interpretation of ZhouYi and Moog-Anthony's Healing Yourself the Cosmic Way.

Cheers,

Michuco

 

[Trojina]

What's the 'number of books' got to do with anything ? Your logic is because there are fewer books written on Yi with an inclusion of inner life that Yi isn't suited to inner life questions. That doesn't make much sense. You don't need to count books to validate ideas about the Yi.

Also there doesn't need to be special I Chings written for certain kinds of questions, many commentators and writers of books such as Hilary, Bradford, Lise and countless others do cover aspects of inner life. Have you not looked at any of those ?

And as Yi is a guide for people, human beings, why wouldn't their emotional life be included in Yi's answers ? To compare questions about one's inner life to questions about quantum physics is bizarre.

What you are saying is most peculiar and you will find many people here do ask questions concerning their inner life since that is also a major part of the decision making process !

You may need to broaden your perspective. Even Wilhelm writes about inner sensibilities so I don't know where you get this odd idea that this kind of question is not suited for the I Ching from. Anyway if you want to discuss that with others then post a thread in Exploring Divination. This area is for sharing readings, getting help with interpretation and so on.