He's much more experienced than me; that makes me insecure 52.5>53

[marybluesky]

I feel insecure around a certain guy with much more experience than me. From the start, I was jealous of him because of this heavy feeling that he has lived much more than me, so to speak. I've been an overprotected girl, I didn't experience many things people my age did, and this guy is the opposite: he has had that full social, romantic, rebellious, professional life; with addiction, lots of sex, several friends, good social skills, ability to earn money... I wasn't satisfied with my state, but didn't know how to change it. I always wanted to be like the ones who passionately consumed their lives. I tried, but was a stranger. Maybe it's too late, I don't know.

I met this guy more than a year ago. Our relationship has been unstable and undefined; but the feeling of jealousy and insecurity was always there. I would never be like that, and it's killing me. It awakens the ghosts in my psyche,

So I just opened the page & said: He's much more experienced than me; that makes me insecure; and got 52.5>53.
Can't understand that. Words have order, regret vanishes? Should I talk to someone about it?

 

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He's much more experienced than me; that makes me insecure 52.5>53​

Don't let words destabilize you -Being like the gravity/impassivity of a mountain or like a yogi in contemplation can be a way to follow a gradual path to a more serene destiny


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[mandarin_23]

Best to be patient; things take time. Take a distance. This is all in the mountain hexagram. You are a wise and mature person in 52.5. Also, best to be clear in communication.

Also, don't forget about who you are. It might be good to be protected, and you've got the experiences which are your experiences. The guy who impresses you so much might be just as impressed by you ...

 

[marybluesky]

I don't think he has been bragging to me, at least intentionally. I sometimes told him how I wanted to change my life, to break free from structures I grew up with, and he was surprised, like he didn't understand why. He wasn't sure if leaving home at a very young age was worth it for him; even asked why I wanted to move out if I hadn't any grave problem at parental house.

The thing is, that lifestyle is my Achilles heel.

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

I feel insecure around a certain guy with much more experience than me. From the start, I was jealous of him because of this heavy feeling that he has lived much more than me, so to speak. I've been an overprotected girl, I didn't experience many things people my age did, and this guy is the opposite: he has had that full social, romantic, rebellious, professional life; with addiction, lots of sex, several friends, good social skills, ability to earn money... I wasn't satisfied with my state, but didn't know how to change it. I always wanted to be like the ones who passionately consumed their lives. I tried, but was a stranger. Maybe it's too late, I don't know.

I met this guy more than a year ago. Our relationship has been unstable and undefined; but the feeling of jealousy and insecurity was always there. I would never be like that, and it's killing me. It awakens the ghosts in my psyche,

So I just opened the page & said: He's much more experienced than me; that makes me insecure; and got 52.5>53.
Can't understand that. Words have order, regret vanishes? Should I talk to someone about it?

Mmmh, Could it be you told him too much about you? Perhaps you did it without thinking about it too much. It usually happens to me and I'd read this cast exactly in this way: don't tell too much about your intimate parts of life, not because you don't have to trust the others, but just because there are some things about us, our desires that should (in my opinion) be cared as gifts. When we speak too much (and I did it many times) we put on the table too much, and people then feel free to feed themselves: That's why you feel insecure, I'd say.

This is the reason why Yi advises to maintain a reserved silence on special matters. That brings to 53.

 

[marybluesky]

Mmmh, Could it be you told him too much about you? Perhaps you did it without thinking about it too much. It usually happens to me and I'd read this cast exactly in this way: don't tell too much about your intimate parts of life, not because you don't have to trust the others, but just because there are some things about us, our desires that should (in my opinion) be cared as gifts. When we speak too much (and I did it many times) we put on the table too much, and people then feel free to feed themselves: That's why you feel insecure, I'd say.

This is the reason why Yi advises to maintain a reserved silence on special matters. That brings to 53.

Thanks for your input.

I don't feel insecure because I've revealed myself, but because I feel inadequate before someone with so much experience, someone who's lived the life to its depths while I was out of the pool, keeping on the wrong attitudes I had learned. He depicts the very person I wanted to be but couldn't/didn't dare.

I was attracted to such a lifestyle long before knowing this guy, and felt jealous of him before revealing myself. He revealed himself far more at the first, but maybe there was no need for that: when you see someone's lifestyle and know their friends, you have an overall view of who they might be. It was enough for me to feel jealous and insecure.

 

[ClavdiaChauchat]

Thanks for your input.

I don't feel insecure because I've revealed myself, but because I feel inadequate before someone with so much experience, someone who's lived the life to its depths while I was out of the pool, keeping on the wrong attitudes I had learned. He depicts the very person I wanted to be but couldn't/didn't dare.

I was attracted to such a lifestyle long before knowing this guy, and felt jealous of him before revealing myself. He revealed himself far more at the first, but maybe there was no need for that: when you see someone's lifestyle and know their friends, you have an overall view of who they might be. It was enough for me to feel jealous and insecure.

Ok, I see your point.
You write that when u tried to be "that type of persone he is, that was not your real self. I'd trust this words, not the rest.

I mean, If you tried to be another one and I couldn't work, there's a reason. And I think Yi is telling you not to believe everything you think or say about yourself.
We can say a lot about us, but what we are is what we've done, not what we've said. The point is, I think, that everything could be different or something else. Don't trust these desires of being another one. This is an illusion we create, I think.

Hope it helps.