hex 54 and feelings

[ivonne]

I have just got an interesting answer from the I Ching , to my question about my boyfriend's feelings to me, after an aneasy time due to a row.I have children (which is what appears in hex 50.1).
It is hex 50.1.3.6 > 54.
Hex 54 always makes me feel uneasy , in the best of options .

Could it mean that the "maiden" who is given a secondary position in a relationship is him . as i am still in a relationship myself?

I am much tempted to see the answer as something like: he (or we) need(s )to remove old stuff,unpleasant residuals from the heart, then purification comes, clarity of the resentments, and finally good feelings are restored (or come into being).

And thet would be in the context of finding his own place in a situation he can't control much (54).

Does this make any sense? Could you please make any comments on this possibility?

 

[ivonne]

Could hex 54, on second thought, mean that he already has someone else?

 

[ivonne]

It might also make more sense if i add that i got 30.6>55 as an answer to :how should i proceed to make things between us better?. And i crushed into somethig to be removed (killed or captivated), nor sure about the meaning ,sounds a bit cruel.Anyway, something in it makes me think of similarity with the stuff that has to be removed from the Caldron in hex 50.1.

Rings a bell?

 

[lucia]

Why are your kids 50.1? Are you planning on chucking them out?

I think it is very difficult when we ask the ching about others feelings to know who it is talking about - is it him, you or the relationship in general? If you explore this excellent site you will find some good advice about questions and suggestions.

But let's assume it's him as you asked....

50.1 is about getting rid of the previously acquired in order to be clean for the next "cooking". That could be attitudes from the past but it could be your other relationship. The pots on the floor and the concubine imply what looks like impediments that need to be removed but if that isn't going to get one anywhere why bother? If it is going to get one "somewhere" then it is worth it. But it's early days.

50.3 suggests he has doubts or a lack of trust or feels overlooked or not valued.

50.6 says that if he keeps everything (and it means everything: spiritual, material etc etc) in balance he attains the way of heaven. Maybe an ideal??

All of this playing out against a backdrop of being in a secondary position - 54 - means he is probably feeling confused and questioning whether it's worth it.

But, that is assuming this is talking about him.

Like I said, you could find Hilary's pages about questions they might help you clarify things.

Lucia

 

[ginnie]

Quarreled

Ivonne, you two have quarreled, and Yi advises you in 30.6>55 that in setting things to rights you are not to yell at him, as he is just a follower not a big instigator. In any case, bad temper gets you nowhere.

You were right about 50.1 meaning you already have a child. It doesn't mean you are supposed to chuck your child! Just read this part: "No blame." All the individual words in connection with a line do not always apply. Each line in the Yi must apply to so many different people and so many situations. You know, we have to read in a flexible way . . .

Ivonne, I think we all feel uneasy about 54. The outcome of 54 sometimes seems to be hanging by a thread . . . In this case, since you were asking about his feelings, you are probably right that he feels influenced by a force over which he has no control. You know how that can be. A relationship can seem like an illness or it can seem like our salvation . . .

That you got hexagram 50 for how he feels about you is very, very positive. This man is probably with you for the long term.

50.3 means there is some difficulty or adversity at present to be overcome. Not so clear what it is; only that something has gone awry. But the Wilhelm text says: "Once rain falls, remorse is spent. Good fortune comes in the end." Rain falling generally means a release of tension and resolution of the difficulty.

50.6 is a most powerful and auspicious line, and it presages the best good fortune for the two of you and all the blessings of Heaven. You must not doubt this, for this is true.

Your relationship could very well turn into a vehicle or the container for such richness and blessings, not only of a material kind but also of a higher kind.

One translation leads me to believe he disappointed you and himself by failing to do his duty properly. He will learn and improve.

There is no other "maiden." Hexagram 54 simply means you are both suffering adversities connected with love.

Lucia is right when she points out that it's difficult to read the response when you have asked the Yi how he feels. The Yi will reveal the true state of affairs anyway. It is not a big mistake, but it does make it more difficult to interpret the response.

In the short run, maybe he'll have to forgive you and learn something himself.

In answer to your question, Ivonne, the Yi has told you that his feelings for you are more precious than gold! Do not doubt this!

 

[lucia]

Dios mio Barbra I was joking about chucking the children out which is why it's phrased as a question not "advice"....

I am curious to know where you get the idea about not yelling at him because he is just a follower and not a big instigator. How do you know who is follower or who is instigator? (and does the ching really make comments about bad temper or is that your personal view?)

30.6>55

30.6 says chop off the leaders head and spare the followers - in other words get to the root of the problem but don't get sidetracked on less important issues. If you have an important point to make you have to overemphasize it. Make a bit of a show. Meanwhile, 55 says the time of abundance is short lived so use this time of 'brightness' while you can.

You have to decide if this is internal to you (ie things in your head to deal with) or live and direct with him - I would probably assume both but that's just my personal view.

As for Hex 50 well it's an interesting Hex but I don't recall it coming with any guarantees about the length of relationships.

Lucia

 

[rosada]

Hi Ivonne!

I suggest the I Ching is telling you that your friend holds no ill will from the recent row you had. 50.1 says he's not even thinking about the past. However he may be interested in you because of what he can get, rather than any consideration as to what is good for you.

I think 50.3 warning you that your relationship is handicapped because he has not told you precisely what his feelings are. Are you friends? Lovers? What's your "handle"?

However, having said that, I think 50.6 promises that whatever he has said is genuine.

54 is a tricky hexagram. It comes just before 55, the Ultimate Achievement. It's as if when you are on your way to pick up the Nobel Prize someone tries to distract you by making you an offer you can't refuse. I think I Ching is saying you must decide if what he is offering you is enough. If it is, then I think I Ching is saying your friend wants the relationship to continue as it is, but if the way he is treating you now is not sufficient be careful as he may not be able to offer more. You may have to say, "No, if this is the best you can do I have to keep walking."

 

[ginnie]

Beneficial all around

I was wrong to say that Yvonne shouldn't be short-tempered with her boyfriend. Who am I to speak about being short tempered? I was short-tempered with my own husband just last night.

"The King went forth to set things to rights and, blessed by heaven with victory, he destroyed the leader of the rebels; but he did not chastise the rebel followers-- no error! Commentary: The King acted thus in order to rectify the affairs of the various states comprising his realm. Footnote: This passage implies that we may be compelled to resort to forceful measures but that we should avoid chastising those who have been led to do harm by others." -- "I Ching: The Book of Change," translated by John Blofeld

I like John Blofeld's translation because it really does get to the point. When I looked up 30.6 in the Concordance, I see the same thing. The followers look a little more detested, drunken, and so forth in the Concordance. Nevertheless, the King only goes for the head of the guy on top when he sets forth to put his kingdom to rights.

The resulting hexagram 55 does indeed mean the fullness of achievement but it also could mean being eclipsed or blinded by "too much," and it also means becoming completely isolated from other human beings.

In Yvonne's other question of the I Ching, her boyfriend is in the relationship of 54, which is why I don't think that he is the big instigator. The Yi has represented him as being the subordinate one. He is the so-called "maiden," which sounds silly, since he is a man, but men often find themselves in subordinate positions. Since Ivonne said she is still in another relationship, I feel this is the correct interpretation.

As for getting hexagram 50 when we are talking about a couple, it is just such a powerful symbol that we must pause. The Ritual Cauldron is not an ordinary cooking pot. It's a symbol of the establishment of a new ruling regime on the level of the state and the King, raising the level of governance in general, or a major development on the spiritual or cultural level.

It could very well be that this relationship is destined to be mainly a cultural or spiritual one. I agree with Rosada that so far this relationship is handicapped because it is not clear yet what kind of relationship it is.

It is true that with hexagram 50 there is no guarantee of a long relationship, but because of the genuineness of the relationship, it would not have much occasion to end prematurely. Line 50.6 implies a connection that is solid and warm like jade, auspicious, beneficial all around.

 

[ivonne]

God bless you all, wondeful people! Your anwers are just the best New Year's gift i could possibly dream of getting by now.( i was feeling a bit low because of the suspense of the situation).
Your answers are stunning, i can tell you, as almost every word of yours applies.

'He" really seems to follow the developments between us, (his instigations are more sort of between the lines,underlyingly subversive , i'd say), and is exceptionally vulnerable to high pitched voice, yelling is simply out of the question.And i appreciate Barbra's sincerity and openness in confessing that not being short-tempered when sorting things out can sometimes be impossible And Barbra, you are so right saying that somene staying in a 54 type of situation mught be a folower, and i corroborate the take that it's him who seems to be the "maiden" (or, on second thought, both os us, in thelarger perspective, as i have always understood hex 54, without much thinking and anlysing, that it talks about two peaple who are spontaneously attracted to each other , feel for each other, care for each other IN SPITE OF the status quo, social norms or situation, against all odds).

It was a great take (and good translation you hold) to point out that we feel disappointed, that things could have gone better , and that improvement is all that can save us, so to speak.And this implies getting to the rrot, as Lucia puts it.

Rosada, great take also ur relationship is quite imprecise, but if nonetheless genuine, then it's a good start, and that's what i wanted to hear most, thanks a million! I have just asked the I Ching: what does the relationship with me mean to him now? and i got hex 11 Peace, so it confirms you read it right, he seems to hold no ill will .
You intrigued me enough to ask additionally: in what way is this relationship special to him, compared to others? i got 25 unchanged, which , unless i get it wrong, sounds good enough(natural, spontaneous, uncalculated ).

Anyway , por Dios ! the solid, genuine,auspicious aspect of whatever it is between us gives me both the thrill and the comfort to, well , as you lovely put it: to pause .Still, it makes me think of someone's advice (Rosada's?) i have once read here , exploring this site, an advice given in connection with heart matters, and it went like this: " never settle for anything less than simply the best".For the heart deserves it,doesnt't it?

Muchissimas gracias a todos, you've been of great help indeed, and just in case we won't "see" each other so soon (i already miss u), have a wonderful New Year !