Hex 55.1.2 >32 Soul mate question

[skippy]

Dear I Ching community,

What exactly does the first line of 55 mean?

I enquired about a girl I like, we have known each other for some time now and I believe we have lots in common. Although she keeps saying that she doesn’t like me more than a friend, I can sense that we are on the same wave length and that there is a hidden connection between us. My assumption is that she keeps her distance due to a possible mistrust towards me as she has a relatively low self esteem and doesn’t see herself attractive. She may think that I am interested in her because of her money or citizenship. On top of that she is concerned about her parents who won’t approve a relationship with someone from a different ethnic background.

My question was: “Is this girl my soul mate”?

I ended up with Hex 55.1.2 changing to 32.
As for the first line the confusing thing comes in the Wilhelm’s commentaries. “They can be together ten days and it is not a mistake- more than ten days is harmful” I don’t understand this bit. Could it suggest that we are not suited for a long term relationship?

L.2: I sense that it describes the situation and hindrance between us but promises an improvement as the power of the truth (destiny perhaps) will have its influence on the whole situation.

Hex 32 seems to be about a long term relationship, possibly a marriage.



Also, a long-long time ago I asked the I Ching “Who is my soulmate”?
I ended up with Hex 13.5 being about 2 people who have some connection between each other but they can’t unite until later due to many obstacles keeping them apart.
Moreover, I have also come up with the same reading when I asked the I Ching: “Why did this girl come to my life”?

Thank you in advance for your insights and interpretations

 

[gato]

I take it as a no (55.1.2)

l1 it is telling that you meet with your master, superior/etc. a superior can't be mate. on the other hand every woman dreams in secret to meet a man who dominates her.
l2 you are not seeing the truth but only few sparks ( most likely imagination ) as stars cannot be seen in midday.

 

[ginnie]

More going on here

Skippy, not all the translations include the phrase about 'ten days,' and the two partners mentioned in line one moving can be a husband and wife.

The important thing is that they are equals. One does not dominate the other one. They will decide to cooperate if there is a good reason for them to do so. There has to be a purpose, you see. Otherwise, why should one of them follow the other one?

According to Thomas McCleary, the second line represents someone who is extremely bright, centered, and upright. However that person is 'dealing with a leadership that is weak, ignorant, and unfair.' Could those ignorant people be her parents, who are prejudiced against all people different from themselves? I would assume so, Skippy.

You can change this situation only by the sincerity of your intentions. If you are sincere, eventually your excellent personal qualities will win them over. Second line moving is said to be auspicious.

Same thing with 13.5. How can two people of like mind be kept separated? They cannot be kept separated. But it might take the intervention of someone in a powerful position in her family to change the negativity of her two parents.

H 32 refers to a long lasting relationship. Often it is a marriage; but not always.

I must ask: Are you actually interested in getting married?

Sounds like her family is a lot more established in their country than you are right now. I guess there will be a long period of transition in which all this becomes clearer and clearer . . .

 

[edge]

Although she keeps saying that she doesn’t like me more than a friend, I can sense that we are on the same wave length and that there is a hidden connection between us. My assumption is that she keeps her distance due to a possible mistrust towards me as she has a relatively low self esteem and doesn’t see herself attractive. She may think that I am interested in her because of her money or citizenship. On top of that she is concerned about her parents who won’t approve a relationship with someone from a different ethnic background.

A soul mate can also be a friend, someone to whom you are deeply connected, but not necessarily in a romantic context...

on the other hand every woman dreams in secret to meet a man who dominates her.

hmmm 'every woman'? Not in my experience (as a woman)!!!

Acting with sincerity may include respecting her wishes for the moment, and accepting that often, when a woman says no, its actually what she means!!! Being her friend, and respectful of her boundaries may allow you to see in time if there is something 'hidden', assuming she's saying no when she actually means yes, because its what you want to believe, is not treating her as an 'equal'.

 

[willowfox]

I have two "soul" mates, my cat and my parrot, we all live together but the bird intensely dislikes the cat, therefore if they meet face to face there the outcome is disrupted harmony.

Anyway, your friend can be a friend but as you already know the parents are going to hamper your progress(line 55.2).

 

[gato]

hmmm 'every woman'? Not in my experience (as a woman)!!!

Acting with sincerity may include respecting her wishes for the moment, and accepting that often, when a woman says no, its actually what she means!!! Being her friend, and respectful of her boundaries may allow you to see in time if there is something 'hidden', assuming she's saying no when she actually means yes, because its what you want to believe, is not treating her as an 'equal'.

i didn't refer to force when i said domination. Being her friend, respecting her boundaries yes it's a good thing but too much of that and she will be bored in no time. Then she will want to be "just friends"... yack. I have seen it like a thousand times (as a man)!!! .

 

[ginnie]

Then she will want to be "just friends"... yack. I have seen it like a thousand times (as a man)!!! .

Your point is well taken, Gato, but the young women of today have more self-understanding. They are more likely to be sure when they want a fling -- and when they want a friend.

 

[ginnie]

I have two "soul" mates, my cat and my parrot, we all live together but the bird intensely dislikes the cat.

 

[meng]

I have two "soul" mates, my cat and my parrot, we all live together but the bird intensely dislikes the cat, therefore if they meet face to face there the outcome is disrupted harmony.

Anyway, your friend can be a friend but as you already know the parents are going to hamper your progress(line 55.2).

That is funny! Good call too, imo.

 

[gene]

skippy

I wouldn't count on this being the "main" thing. Men, (and I am one) tend to fool themselves thinking that a standoffish women is that way out of fear or whatever, and maybe so, but I wouldn't count on it. The only thing one can do in a case like this is be distant oneself. If I were you I would forget about her for the time being. Just watch how she interacts in the group, if there is one, and if not, forget it. There is nothing in this reading that would indicated she is a soul mate. We all, both male and female tend to fool ourselves into believing this when we find someone we have chemistry with. Don't worry about whether they are a soul mate, just concern yourself with whether he/she is receptive or not, if not, men at least, had better back off, at least for the most part. It doesn't matter whether it is out of fear or any other reason. If she is not responding, back off. If things change, go with the flow, but don't count on it. Don't even care. When we care we are wanting someone to do what we want them to do. That comes across on a subconscious level as selfishness and/or neediness.

Line one says they can be together ten days. In other words they can be together for a cycle of time as long as they have a united goal, a common purpose. That is not likely, especially in this case, to be for romance. Line one is yang, and likely relates to you. Line two is yin and likely relates to her. it speaks of mistrust. So you are probably right, but trying to do something about it is likely to engender more of the same. If you are in a common social group, just observe from a distance. Don't get close to her unless her attitude changes.

Gene